[emmaleemochizuki]

I will start with mine.

My main one is allowing myself to be vulnerable in front of my T. So crying, and showing emotions and things like that.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I don't do resolutions. To me, they are like promises: meant to be broken.

However, I do have therapy goals/hopes for this new year: I hope L and I grow even closer, and my attachment becomes more secure. I hope that I continue to push through my fear, keep opening up, keep showing up even through the pain, and that her and I keep building our foundation. I hope to be more relaxed, more playful, more me.

[Taylor27]

My main focus this year is to be open to new things and to fully trust the process. I have never allowed myself to fully trust the process til this past year, it has felt good.


Also to allow myself to feel my emotions in front of my therapist

[princesscookie19]

For me is to do more in the day and talk to my Therapist about getting a bike for the sensory room so I can exercise indoors. Also want to keep positive and be kinder to others that I live with and be more open to chats and be thankful where I live in a good environment with staff that care so much for me. My new years resolution is probably to do more as much as I can in the day and learn french and do some knitting

[Lostislost]

To not worry myself sick about everything and just let things be as they are. I think I have missed a lot of things because I was afraid of how they would turn out.

[RoxanneToto]

Therapy goals:
Learn more about self awareness and how to tell when/if I actually have a secure connection with someone
Learn to detach from other people’s issues and stop wanting to “save” others.
Get rid of what I now realise is a superiority complex. Logically I know I’m not superior to others but I don’t always realise I still kind of act like I think it.
Maybe learn to let go of my job stress while I’m looking for something else.

[*Beth*]

To keep doing what I'm doing in therapy, because it's going well.

[Mountaindewed]

To be a lot more honest and speak what’s on my mind instead of BSing around the issue for 20 minutes.

Also stop emailing her between sessions. That is a big one that will help me a ton.

[SalingerEsme]

My resolution is to try and keep a gentle state of mind toward my T, who is taking a lot of paternity leave with very little warning starting next week.

I lost a baby in the past, and am finding this hard to integrate.

I'm torn between my adult prefrontal cortex , which is happy for him, and some deep trigger that wants to lash out kind of viciously about not being told earlier, about how he is 45 and having a first kid, about how it's the very worst month of the pandemic where we live. How my best friend is an ED doc, and terrified.

I do very much hope things go well and also I am worried for things going wrong. I desperately want that baby to live and be healthy. Im worried that he will change, as he is kind of a "cool" , travel-the-world, free spirit.

Interestingly , he asked permission to disclose a bit more than usual since he brought this into the room. He said he was glad to be the age he is, and even so, he worries he will change. He said he will always love his work, and will definitely be back and hold me in mind.

I want to be reasonable and levelheaded. Yet, I'm stymied how to have my other, selfish, negative feelings about it without evoking some countertransference I dont want to get in the way or end therapy.

I definitely have learned that therapy is a relationship between two humans , and it is possible to go too far with what you say, even if in theory they should be trained to handle it. And anyway I dont want to put that out in the world.

I just feel abandoned, and also I really took a strange comfort in how he didnt have children as common ground the last few years. He suddenly got married at city hall about 6 months ago, and I had a twinge/inkling. I even later said I'd had a dream he had twins, but he didnt take the chance to confide.

This T is truly helpful and extremely kind. I've been trying to touch on the big mix of feelings I experience to suddenly go without therapy (as I haven't missed much time in five years) while also having a welcoming stance toward a little life entering the world.

It's been a lot of work, but I am resolved not to lose the perspective that this is his whole life, and I am just a 2 hour a week client. It's humbling how scared I am. I have been working with CSA , and it's disconcerting my T who has been saying how he will be there every step of the way if I take topic risks, is suddenly taking so very much time off.

[Amyjay]

Not a resolution as such, but from here on in I want to work at keeping track of being triggered and being aware of what the trigger was. It seems like that will give me lots of information about what I want to work on, and also help me use grounding skills more consistently.

[LostOnTheTrail]

Just so happens that I set mine up in the last session of 2020 - 'Accept Emotional Lost.


R: 'Poor Emotional C'
Me: 'More Emotional C?!'
R: 'Poor Emotional C....and more Emotional C. Your reaction was very telling.'

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by SalingerEsme

My resolution is to try and keep a gentle state of mind toward my T, who is taking a lot of paternity leave with very little warning starting next week.

I lost a baby in the past, and am finding this hard to integrate.

I'm torn between my adult prefrontal cortex , which is happy for him, and some deep trigger that wants to lash out kind of viciously about not being told earlier, about how he is 45 and having a first kid, about how it's the very worst month of the pandemic where we live. How my best friend is an ED doc, and terrified.

I do very much hope things go well and also I am worried for things going wrong. I desperately want that baby to live and be healthy. Im worried that he will change, as he is kind of a "cool" , travel-the-world, free spirit.

Interestingly , he asked permission to disclose a bit more than usual since he brought this into the room. He said he was glad to be the age he is, and even so, he worries he will change. He said he will always love his work, and will definitely be back and hold me in mind.

I want to be reasonable and levelheaded. Yet, I'm stymied how to have my other, selfish, negative feelings about it without evoking some countertransference I dont want to get in the way or end therapy.

I definitely have learned that therapy is a relationship between two humans , and it is possible to go too far with what you say, even if in theory they should be trained to handle it. And anyway I dont want to put that out in the world.

I just feel abandoned, and also I really took a strange comfort in how he didnt have children as common ground the last few years. He suddenly got married at city hall about 6 months ago, and I had a twinge/inkling. I even later said I'd had a dream he had twins, but he didnt take the chance to confide.

This T is truly helpful and extremely kind. I've been trying to touch on the big mix of feelings I experience to suddenly go without therapy (as I haven't missed much time in five years) while also having a welcoming stance toward a little life entering the world.

It's been a lot of work, but I am resolved not to lose the perspective that this is his whole life, and I am just a 2 hour a week client. It's humbling how scared I am. I have been working with CSA , and it's disconcerting my T who has been saying how he will be there every step of the way if I take topic risks, is suddenly taking so very much time off.

Your post is touching. Thank you for sharing what's on your mind.