To T or Not to T... that is the question

Thank you, I appreciate your comments. My psych doctor, who manages my meds, actually agreed with me that going through the VA for therapy is counter-productive bc of the way they handle it, with the 12 sessions and that's it.... because I have too many issues to cover in 12 sessions, so she's putting in an order to allow me to have long-term therapy outside the VA, with the VA paying for it! She is just so nice. that the word 'nice' doesn't even cover it.

Wow, that's awesome of your psych doctor. I'm glad you may have found a solution that works! I hope you can find a good therapist that will work with you long term so you can live a full and happy life.

Glad that you told her that she was being unprofessional. It REALLY kills me when therapists turn around and state that the client was being too sensitive, when they were being disgusting and unprofessional af.

You know this is just to add on to what you said here. It is so tiring and frustrating to have to constantly repeat the traumas that you go through to each new therapist.

Toughcooki, that is AWESOME NEWS! I am glad to hear that!

Reading through your story made me so sad. And soooo angry that the VA system is so horribly broken.
Glad that you may be getting yo the therapy you need and deserve.
Dont give up!

I didnt address my childhood issues until a few years ago.
Been very fortunate to connect with a therapist who gets me and Ive made much progress. Its awful that Ive been able to see a therapist with no time consteaints with a small copay while your experience is so very difficult.

Wish you better going forward!

Thank you so much! Yes, she is AWESOME. I hope so too!

Thank you! And I agree about having to start over w/ new therapists every 12 sessions. it's awful. It's awful to have to blurt out the traumas, but having to do it over and over with each new therapist is just. ... Ugh!

Thank you. I hope I'll have a good T when this is all done. The VA system is better in some ways, since we can see doctors on the outside now where 10 years ago that wasn't the case. But the mental health aspect of the VA is a mess. They just very recently shut down group therapy and all long-term therapy in favor of the 12 session model. As time goes forward I'm sure they'll realize the error, but right now it's really tough on people. I'm glad you have a good therapist! I hope you keep making progress!

That is a shame! The VA is the one place where veterans can get support from a group.

I hope you can find a good psychologist to work with.

Thank you very much. I agree - especially combat vets, no one else really understands that other than someone who's gone through it.

I am glad by the end of this thread you got a Psych Doc that put you in for Care in the Community, especially during this time we were in. I am a Veteran too with PTSD. I have a therapist in the community too. Been with her for 7 years. I have learned that you really need to be your own advocate for care. Going to the Patient Advocate, and even to the director of Patient Care of the hospital. That got things moving when I needed it too. VA system needs work. Community care as gone through 4 different vendors in the 7 years I have been with my therapist. Its now with Optum. Unsure of the process so far but the beginning of it all was horrible. March 25 I got a call from CITC about starting with my therapist back in Feb and seeing if I got the care I needed, at least trying to see if its working though months to late.

Yes, I was actually referring to combat vets. Thank you for mentioning it.

You know if they had combat support groups for the different wars, I think that would be helpful. For instance, one group for Iraqi Freedom, one group for desert storm, one group for Vietnam vets.

You might want to look for a psychologist that specializes in PTSD for vets. If there isn't any, than just ask about PTSD.

It really is a mess - but even though we have to yell and scream and fight to get care, at least we can get care now. When I first got out, it was VA or the highway, and if the VA said you were fine, you just go home and suffer, lol.
I'm glad you have a good long-term therapist, and I hope she's helping you!

I agree - every action is different, so you'd think the support groups would be different as well.

The first therapist I saw was someone who was only allowed by the nature of the charity that she worked for to conduct short term therapy. We did have several months though, just long enough for her to determine that I needed very long term therapy. I was so lucky that she recognised that, told me that and waited for me to find someone who would work with me like that. You have not been afforded that same service and that is shocking. Maybe they are trying to just build up their numbers of 'fixed' people. Whatever their issue is, it is not your fault. A lifetime of crap can take years to work through, especially if you are untrusting in nature because of your past and especially if you have a 'shut down and deny' mentality. Something the military teaches you to do with your emotions from day one! I have been in therapy not for about five years. We have made enormous progress in some areas and very little in others. I asked my T just last week whether she thought continuing could help and she said that yes, she still felt there was work to be done. Not in a money grabbing way but in a way that she wants me to feel not so trapped by the weight of my feelings. Or something like that. Anyway, your original question was does everyone feel bad all the time. I think the answer is no. I think that as humans it is natural that we all suffer sometime. That we all feel shame sometimes. That we all have dark days. But there should also be light, hope, fun, positivity etc. It should be balanced. Trust yourself is something my T often says to me. You know in your gut what is right for you and it seems from your post that you know you need more help, so go out there and get it. You will likely need to go private if the service you were using won't help but for me, it has been the best thousands of pounds I have spent, and I will continue spending it all the time I believe I am benefiting or will benefit. (Right now it seems hopeless to me some days but I trust in the process enough having made such incredible changes in my life because of therapy) go for it, I say.

Thanks for this. I'm paying out of pocket right now, as the consult for the VA to pay for it just never seems to go through. And I just really need it. Every day it seems like I uncover something else that is messing up the way I handle day-to-day life. I will just keep plugging along and eventually maybe I'll slog my way through enough of it that I can feel better!