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Roses are falling.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Seattle.
Posts: 9,812
(SuperPoster!)
7 10.3k hugs
given |
#401
I'm nervous about my presentation today and actually thought I made a mistake cancelling the therapy session on the 15th.
Just three more days to get through for the rest of this week. __________________ |
ArtieTheSequal, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2014
Location: n/a
Posts: 4,819
10 375 hugs
given |
#402
I really hate when you use CBT. That is all for now.
__________________ |
*Beth*, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, Mystical_Being, SlumberKitty
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Roses are falling.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Seattle.
Posts: 9,812
(SuperPoster!)
7 10.3k hugs
given |
#403
I survived! Just exhausted. The lead doc was nice and made jokes that he couldn't hear me and not to be nervous. Easy said then done in front of 21 people, but I also noticed that he flipped his chair around instead of facing me towards the others like he was doing with the first girl. I've wanted to be done with school for so long and now the moments finally here and I feel sad that it's over and everything's changing. I've actually grown attached to everyone in my group, despite trying hard not in the first year. Last teaching week and scrolling through instagram it feels like I've lived a lifetime in this year alone.
__________________ |
*Beth*, daisydid, LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail, SlumberKitty, unaluna
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Quietmind 2, RoxanneToto
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Tweaky Dog
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,917
12 3,206 hugs
given |
#404
Trying to breathe, and work, and look forward to my birthday.
Possible trigger:
In spite of it being my birthday on Thursday, I think I might need you to remind me (again) that there is absolutely no pressure for me to keep it together. I've kept this appointment for a reason. __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
LonesomeTonight, Mystical_Being, RoxanneToto, SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
5 117.7k hugs
given |
#405
Please lets have a good helpful appointment today!
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
*Beth*, daisydid, LonesomeTonight, Lostislost, LostOnTheTrail
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Veteran Member
Member Since May 2020
Location: Uk
Posts: 558
4 890 hugs
given |
#406
Why is it always awkward when I least expect it? Probably shouldn't have brought the drawing in. I have no idea how I'm getting through each day.
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*Beth*, LonesomeTonight, Mystical_Being, SlumberKitty
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
(SuperPoster!)
4 23.7k hugs
given |
#407
Please don't cancel our appointment on Thursday! I'm not having the easiest time of it and really need to see you.
__________________ |
LonesomeTonight, Lostislost, Mystical_Being, SlumberKitty
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: Toodlepip
Posts: 1,752
5 |
#408
Who is this other bozo you are setting me up with? She looks like a cave dweller, something which, under different circumstances, I would appreciate about someone. This tribe of yours is very strange.
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Mystical_Being, RoxanneToto, SlumberKitty, unaluna
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LonesomeTonight, RoxanneToto
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,961
(SuperPoster!)
9 75.2k hugs
given |
#409
Dear T,
I'm not sure how to process your willingness to talk to me tonight. I mean, I know I'll be billed for it. But that's OK. I just...I assumed you'd just say you'd talk to me Friday. Or possibly, if you had an opening tomorrow, offer me another session. Not that you'd talk to me at 8:40 on a Wednesday. I worry you think it wasn't a big enough deal, but you said you could tell I was really distressed. So that helps, I think? But...thank you. It means a lot. Love, LT |
Mystical_Being, SlumberKitty
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Member
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: the astral plane
Posts: 493
5 375 hugs
given |
#410
Your dedication and willingness to go above and beyond the last month or so has triggered this intense shame in me. I don’t feel like any part of me is worth this. Yet it seems so natural and effortless for you to do the things that you’ve done. It’s given me a new perspective on what it means to be present for clients. I can see this period in our work greatly influencing the way that I work with clients in the future.
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LonesomeTonight, Mystical_Being, RoxanneToto, SlumberKitty
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Quietmind 2, RoxanneToto
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Grand Member
Member Since Jun 2008
Location: WYLTK
Posts: 766
16 410 hugs
given |
#411
what's the point of anything any more.........
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daisydid, LonesomeTonight, Mystical_Being, SlumberKitty
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Member
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Somewhere else
Posts: 119
6 73 hugs
given |
#412
I can’t believe I did that. This pain is awful. I don’t know how to survive it. 2 months of horrendous sessions and I think I’m done, I don’t see a way forward and I’m not sure you do either. Maybe we really will never meet again. The little ones worst fears realised. Trauma on top of trauma on top of trauma. I’m too broken and now I’m alone with all of this and i have no idea what to do with it
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LonesomeTonight, Mystical_Being, RoxanneToto, SlumberKitty
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
(SuperPoster!)
4 23.7k hugs
given |
#413
I wish I truly felt, and believed, that I am doing as well as you keep telling me I am. I'm trying to be objective, though.
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jrae, LonesomeTonight, Mystical_Being, RoxanneToto, SlumberKitty
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,961
(SuperPoster!)
9 75.2k hugs
given |
#414
Dear T,
It occurred to me today that last night was probably the first time you've seen me intoxicated. Like, you've seen me after one drink before, but not after a few. I feel sort of awkward about that now. Kind of...exposed. And embarrassed. Maybe that needs to be a part of the discussion tomorrow, too... Love, LT |
jrae, Lemoncake, Mystical_Being, SlumberKitty
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2008
Posts: 7,361
15 25 hugs
given |
#415
Hi T. Hope everything is good, and we have session tomorrow. I'm not doing great this week and hoping talking to you will help.
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LonesomeTonight, Mystical_Being, SlumberKitty
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Member
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: the astral plane
Posts: 493
5 375 hugs
given |
#416
Frankly, I’m glad to not see you until next week. 4 hours of therapy in a week is just too much. And I am eternally grateful for your willingness to walk this path with me for now.
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jrae, LonesomeTonight, Mystical_Being, SlumberKitty
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Roses are falling.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Seattle.
Posts: 9,812
(SuperPoster!)
7 10.3k hugs
given |
#417
I rebooked the session I cancelled for tomorrow. New T G emailed on the 12th asking If there was anything he could do to support me.
Then in another email in response to mine with all of this validation stuff. It just seems so fake and his response makes me want to cancel again. It's tomorrow at 10am. If I'm being honest I feel scared.and my b***** attitude is just a front. I don't think I deserve kidness. My head is messy can I really get paeds done? What about after that with my retake internal exam? "What if it hurts like hell?" Then it will hurt like hell. __________________ Last edited by Lemoncake; May 14, 2021 at 04:45 AM.. |
LonesomeTonight, Mystical_Being, RoxanneToto, SlumberKitty
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Quietmind 2
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 36,936
(SuperPoster!)
8 9,078 hugs
given |
#418
I hope our first in person session goes well. It will be pretty weird for me to be in an office because I’ve only had 2 in person sessions since March 16th 2020. I’m wondering what to wear and if you’d like one of my button up shirts since you like to non judge mentally comment on my shirts. Also will you be eating anything?
__________________ Ridin' with Biden |
SlumberKitty
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,961
(SuperPoster!)
9 75.2k hugs
given |
#419
Dear T,
Thank you for being warm and understanding today. And for joking around a bit. I still feel awkward about your seeing me that way, but I actually wonder if it ultimately was a good thing for you to see me in that state? You said I seemed much more emotional than I typically am. So maybe it's good in a way that you got to see "Uncensored LT"? That maybe it helped you understand better how I can crash emotionally at times. Love, LT PS: Happy Belated Birthday! |
Mystical_Being, SlumberKitty
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Magnate
Member Since Sep 2013
Posts: 2,043
10 |
#420
Why are you doing this?
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LonesomeTonight, Mystical_Being, SlumberKitty
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