Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVI

LostOnTheTrail · Apr 05, 2021 at 04:31 PM

I'm in a state of overload. April is a season of suck.

Mountaindewed · Apr 05, 2021 at 04:49 PM

I wish I could email you right now. But I see you tomorrow afternoon. I just need to hang on for a bit.

*Beth* · Apr 05, 2021 at 07:04 PM

My gratitude is immense. I love you as much as I love any friend I've ever had.

ArtieTheSequal · Apr 05, 2021 at 10:07 PM

Big feels tonight L, huge. I'm feeling so very lonely. Not doing a very good job of not worrying about what you said Friday. Still knowing that I didn't do anything wrong, but if you were serious with what you asked - then it puts into question just EVERYTHING. Like, if you were serious, then YOU DON'T KNOW ME AT ALL. Because I would never do that. I mean what the actual ****? You had to have been kidding. Had to.

ArtieTheSequal · Apr 05, 2021 at 10:09 PM

I guess I'll wait til the 16th to find out. Unless you cancel on me and tell me I can't come back before then. Maybe that's what you should do. Maybe part of me wants that?! Goddess I'm broken.

RoxanneToto · Apr 06, 2021 at 06:41 AM

Firstly, as I said in my email I’m really impressed by the fact you went to a recording studio and made your own album! I’m probably going to sound vain or like I’m making an assumption now - and I really don’t like doing that - but I do wonder whether the first track was at least partially inspired by our last session before your Easter break. It really spoke to me, even sounded like you’d used some of my vernacular lol. It punched me in the gut emotionally, but I can’t identify exactly how I feel. I broke down a little, though, I can’t deny that.

SlumberKitty · Apr 06, 2021 at 10:14 AM

Current T: I don't know if I should come to see you, if you have any openings, this Saturday or not. I mean, can you even help me with this problem with former T? Someone please take the pain away. I can't handle it anymore. It's only been 5 days of pain. It feels like a lifetime. Kit

LostOnTheTrail · Apr 06, 2021 at 10:39 AM

Hi R,

I would really appreciate it if you could acknowledge my email before we speak on Thursday. You know what Thursday represents to me, and now this...

'All I can taste at the moment is fear', as a Great British Bake Off contestant observed.

Best wishes,

Lost

LostOnTheTrail · Apr 06, 2021 at 10:58 AM

Thank you for your message. I feel like I've been at saturation point for far too long.
Everything aches...I'm not sure what I'm bracing for any more, the stuff that has already happened, or what is to come...

junkDNA · Apr 06, 2021 at 11:52 AM

idk if you were joking or not when you said that at the end of our call

LonesomeTonight · Apr 06, 2021 at 11:56 AM

Dear T,
OK, I think we'll need to talk tomorrow about that one comment you made. I just worry it's dangerous territory to wade into, because unless you're totally clueless (possible!), you'll know why it's bothering me. Though it's also partly from something I'd shared before (though maybe you blocked that out?)
--LT

ArtieTheSequal · Apr 06, 2021 at 01:52 PM

I'm feeling so lonely, L. Even with h and 3 cats around me pretty much 24 x 7. I think the entire past year is finally catching up with me or something. I wish I could call you but I just can't because of not being sure if you were joking or not on Friday. I need to just leave it and you alone. I need a vacation so much. so much. I just heard about more changes coming down the pike at work and they are again NOT good for me, I'm going to need to find a new job now for sure and at 58, that thought terrifies me. I'm too old for all of this ****.

Mountaindewed · Apr 06, 2021 at 03:20 PM

I like you a lot but sometimes I feel like you think I’m a bit mentally challenged. But this is only our 4th session so I’m sure we just don’t know each other very well yet. Then again the other therapist either talked to me like I was slow or talked like she seemed annoyed at me.

I don’t have SI or SH thoughts like I used to because. my meds got switched so I think we will have a different relationship then I had with old T.

ArtieTheSequal · 05:36 PM

i want to call you and ask for thursday but i'm afraid you'll get annoyed at me. even if it's cuz I totally forgot I had thursday off work when i said we oughta skip friday in case I have side effects from my 2nd covid shot - i still feel like because i said that, i made my bed, as the saying goes, and I need to live with it and not inconvenience you.

but damn i feel lonely.

daisydid · Apr 06, 2021 at 05:24 PM

Artie, please call. You’re worth being cared for.

L, I don’t know if I can keep doing EMDR. The more we proceed with this, the more easily and often I’m getting triggered. I don’t think I’m strong enough.

ArtieTheSequal · Apr 06, 2021 at 10:00 PM

Hi L. I'm feeling a little bit less lonely tonight. I painted earlier, which is soothing for me, and because I hadn't in awhile. And then my painting inspired a poem. And now it's almost time to go to bed. Why did you have to say what you did on Friday? Why? I'm questioning everything now and my brain is just sure you are going to say you can't work with me anymore because of what you said which would break my heart because it will just prove to me that I should have been the one to leave before you could leave me. Just like I've known all the **** along.

I still love you, anyway, you know. Just be gentle about it, okay?

I'm also not going to call because last time I asked to come sooner it seemed like you were booked up. And the way you said on Friday (before the fearful comment) that we should schedule the rest of the month to make sure I was on the books or whatever also made me think your schedule is full.

Lemoncake · Apr 07, 2021 at 01:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

Hi L. I'm feeling a little bit less lonely tonight. I painted earlier, which is soothing for me, and because I hadn't in awhile. And then my painting inspired a poem. And now it's almost time to go to bed. Why did you have to say what you did on Friday? Why? I'm questioning everything now and my brain is just sure you are going to say you can't work with me anymore because of what you said which would break my heart because it will just prove to me that I should have been the one to leave before you could leave me. Just like I've known all the **** along.

I still love you, anyway, you know. Just be gentle about it, okay?

I'm also not going to call because last time I asked to come sooner it seemed like you were booked up. And the way you said on Friday (before the fearful comment) that we should schedule the rest of the month to make sure I was on the books or whatever also made me think your schedule is full.

Artie bean there's no harm in asking if you want a session. She might say no, but don't let her schedule seeming to be full put you off. Maybe that was then but this is now.

Lemoncake · Apr 07, 2021 at 01:21 AM

I feel like I want to cancel the intro session I have for friday.

In this moment I actually feel disappointed we couldn't work out our last rupture.

Quietmind 2 · Apr 07, 2021 at 01:45 AM

Dear T... please reply to my emails...

ArtieTheSequal · Apr 07, 2021 at 11:06 AM

I wish that you could somehow magically hear my thoughts right now and text me or something. I'm too damn stubborn for my own good.

Menu

My Support Forums - Mental Health Support Groups

Get emotional support and friendship from others like you!

Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVI

My Support Forums

Mountaindewed Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Where the sidewalk ends Posts: 36,226 (SuperPoster!) 7 8,779 hugs given	Apr 05, 2021 at 04:49 PM #162 I wish I could email you right now. But I see you tomorrow afternoon. I just need to hang on for a bit. __________________ Ridin' with Biden

Beth catches the flowers Member Since Jul 2019 Location: Downtown Vibes, California Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!) 4 23.7k hugs given	Apr 05, 2021 at 07:04 PM #163 My gratitude is immense. I love you as much as I love any friend I've ever had. __________________

ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,239 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,775 hugs given	Apr 05, 2021 at 10:09 PM #165 I guess I'll wait til the 16th to find out. Unless you cancel on me and tell me I can't come back before then. Maybe that's what you should do. Maybe part of me wants that?! Goddess I'm broken.

SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Apr 06, 2021 at 10:14 AM #167 Current T: I don't know if I should come to see you, if you have any openings, this Saturday or not. I mean, can you even help me with this problem with former T? Someone please take the pain away. I can't handle it anymore. It's only been 5 days of pain. It feels like a lifetime. Kit __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA

junkDNA Comfy Sedation Member Since Sep 2012 Location: the woods Posts: 19,301 (SuperPoster!) 11 8,149 hugs given	Apr 06, 2021 at 11:52 AM #170 idk if you were joking or not when you said that at the end of our call __________________

LonesomeTonight Always in This Twilight Member Since Feb 2015 Location: US Posts: 20,768 (SuperPoster!) 9 75k hugs given	Apr 06, 2021 at 11:56 AM #171 Dear T, OK, I think we'll need to talk tomorrow about that one comment you made. I just worry it's dangerous territory to wade into, because unless you're totally clueless (possible!), you'll know why it's bothering me. Though it's also partly from something I'd shared before (though maybe you blocked that out?) --LT

daisydid Member Member Since Oct 2018 Location: the astral plane Posts: 493 5 375 hugs given	Apr 06, 2021 at 05:24 PM #175 Artie, please call. You’re worth being cared for. L, I don’t know if I can keep doing EMDR. The more we proceed with this, the more easily and often I’m getting triggered. I don’t think I’m strong enough.

Lemoncake Luna's offical mini me. Member Since May 2017 Location: Cafe Nervosa. Posts: 9,700 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.2k hugs given	Apr 07, 2021 at 01:21 AM #178 I feel like I want to cancel the intro session I have for friday. In this moment I actually feel disappointed we couldn't work out our last rupture. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing."

Quietmind 2 Poohbah Member Since Jan 2020 Location: Somewhere I'm working to leave Posts: 1,243 4 8 hugs given	Apr 07, 2021 at 01:45 AM #179 Dear T... please reply to my emails...

ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,239 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,775 hugs given	Apr 07, 2021 at 11:06 AM #180 I wish that you could somehow magically hear my thoughts right now and text me or something. I'm too damn stubborn for my own good.