journaling

I resisted journaling for a long time, for reasons that escape me now. I did do some but not much. Then when discussing the holiday break in therapy, T suggested journaling as a way to stay connected and for emotional release/relief. (translation--dear god please don't call me! lol)

Even though we're back to weekly sessions now I'm finding I still enjoy sitting down and writing in my journal. Isn't it interesting what comes up, what comes out. I will think I have only a small bit to write about but before you know it I'm several pages along, expressing thoughts that I knew were drifting around my head, like snowflakes drifting and swirling around. Like snowflakes, they were kind of elusive and to catch one could make it melt away from my awareness. But to write freestyle (or free-association writing as I think of it), those snoflakes take shape as they come into focus, and are just as intricate and fascinating.

That I was even open to journaling came from people here at PC who have shared about their journaling, so I just wanted to say how much I appreciate this sharing community.

Date stuff :-) I went back and wanted to do a CSI sort of analysis and didn't have things very set in stone and it about killed me. Trying to figure out when I had this dream versus that dream and when T mentioned she was going away, went away, and how I reacted that time, etc.

<font color="purple">Yeah, I have a journal that I'm going to share with my T... once my parents get off their butts and just stop shoving the issue off to a dusty corner where they can deny that fact that I'd benefit from it alot all they want. In any case, I perfered NOT to date this journal, only because it's more of a thought-tracker and that I talk about my daily life on my online journals. I only have about one paragraph written in it, which is kind of a shame because I picked out a really pretty journal, I'll have to start writing in it again, maybe I'll start it tonight.</font>

Sometimes I journal because I want too, sometimes because I have too. It always helps stop the whirling effect in my head.

Journaling has been a source of definition for me. I have used it in times of crisis as well as a way to find clarity in my jumbled mind. I use both a pen and paper version and a digital one.

It's interesting, as Kaika said, my pen and paper version has to be pretty. It needs a nice cover and has to feel "worthy," (of my words?). Dunno. However, the digital version is a plain old Microsoft word document sans decoration.

I do love words and love getting them out there and then rearranging them. I have shared my journal entries with T on a few occasions, and I have given him samples of my poetry. There have been times when I wanted to read to him and he has said that he prefers me to find my words.

I recently realized that we all have such different perceptions of what it means to journal and how we use our journal entries. I was discussing this once with T and said that I rarely read back my old entries. he was surprised and said that was the whole point of having a journal. HA! Not for me, at least not at that time in my life.

I could theoretically have a journal and burn each page after I write it. Now, THAT, would be living in the moment. Then I could dispel the fear I have that if I die, my children will read my journal even though I have explicit instructions that No-one will ever read it.

I am so glad you have found this resource Echoes. It's so personal.