For those who are crazy attached to their therapist

LonesomeTonight · Mar 27, 2021, 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elio

Did you ever have sadness/grief when noticing the longing feelings diminish? Mine are diminishing in various ways and different levels depending on everything going on. However, I can't tell if that is because of internal growth or because I am shutting down parts and pushing her out. And I miss the good feelings I felt when that longing was stronger. I don't miss the painful feelings when the longing was stronger. I miss how I felt about myself when I felt more in touch with that part of me. Now, so little in my life feels safe enough - which is why I feel like I am shutting down - pushing her out.

There are other times where it feels like it's not a big deal because I know my T is there (which is part of the internalization of it all, I get that).

And yeah, we are talking about it.

I had some of the sadness when feelings for ex-MC were diminishing (this was pre-rupture). Even though it was probably a positive thing in terms of my working through transference and being less dependent. Though then the feelings came roaring back at one point, which led to my messing things up--well, which led to my saying something, then *him* messing things up... Trying to not blame myself...

Ginger Mary · Apr 01, 2021, 06:20 AM

With my current pdoc I wish she would take a motherly role in my life. She seems to have it all so together and has a very gentle way about her. Neither of which my mother had.
My mother passed away when I was in my early teens and left me with memories of abuse and anxiety and a lack of decision making ability (since she made them all for me).
I've told her once that I wish she would just make all my decisions for me. She said that she can't do that but she can suggest what she would do. I guess that's the best I'll ever get.
I'd also really love a great big hug from her but doubt I'll ever get that. She's very professional and hardly ever touches her patients.

NP_Complete · Apr 01, 2021, 01:51 PM

I read the first two paragraphs of the OP to my therapist because they resonated so deeply with me. It was a phone session so no body language clues, but he did say that he sees it as so normal that he forgets how big of a deal it can be for clients.

MoxieDoxie · Apr 01, 2021, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

I read the first two paragraphs of the OP to my therapist because they resonated so deeply with me. It was a phone session so no body language clues, but he did say that he sees it as so normal that he forgets how big of a deal it can be for clients.

Did you tell him what you wanted from him? Did you discuss that at all? Last week we came around to a part that wants him to be proud of us and everything try to achieve is so he will be proud of us. To earn his admiration. I guess because that is something that never happened for us as children from my mother or from anyone. I did not even know realize that until I started pondering what it was I wanted from him.

NP_Complete · Apr 01, 2021, 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MoxieDoxie

Did you tell him what you wanted from him? Did you discuss that at all?

It was at the very end of the session, so we didn't really have time to discuss it, and I guess we'd moved on at the next session. Also I was feeling some shame around it so I didn't want to bring it up again unless he did it first.

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For those who are crazy attached to their therapist

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