[Bcefbc]

I recently told my therapist I want to talk about how my religious upbringing causes me shame and guilt about the casual sex I’m having. She said we’ll work on it next week. Now I’m panicking! Has anyone worked on this stuff with their therapist? How detailed about your sex life did you get? Like what questions were asked?

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Bcefbc

I recently told my therapist I want to talk about how my religious upbringing causes me shame and guilt about the casual sex I’m having. She said we’ll work on it next week. Now I’m panicking! Has anyone worked on this stuff with their therapist? How detailed about your sex life did you get? Like what questions were asked?

question.. what did you want to talk about with your therapist when you brought up the subject with her to begin with? thats how detailed and so on you will get...

therapy isnt this one shoe fits all where everyone only says this much about anythnig. its how ever much you wanted to tell her when you brought up the topic.

depending on what kind of therapy and therapist you have you can expect that since you brought up the topic and this is what you want to talk about, its now in your court on what and how much you say and if you decide not to say anything they may want you to explain what changed your mind on talking about it.

with my own treatment provider I hide nothing including my sex life. my belief and my treatment providers is that if something is bothering me then its worth talking about. thats including my intimacy / relationship issues.

only you can decide what to talk about in your therapy sessions and what not to and how much of what to talk about.

[ElectricManatee]

Whenever I talk about sex with my therapist, I get as detailed (or as not-detailed) as I want to. You shouldn't be pressured into revealing more than you're comfortable discussing. I find that I gradually relax and open up more about specifics over time (usually multiple sessions). This sounds like it could an important, scary, and helpful topic to discuss with your T.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by ElectricManatee

Whenever I talk about sex with my therapist, I get as detailed (or as not-detailed) as I want to. You shouldn't be pressured into revealing more than you're comfortable discussing. I find that I gradually relax and open up more about specifics over time (usually multiple sessions). This sounds like it could an important, scary, and helpful topic to discuss with your T.

This sounds like my experience. Any T (or marriage counselor) I've had has let me take the lead when talking about anything related to sex. They've never asked any specific questions. But they also seemed comfortable with any detail I shared, like they weren't embarrassed or weirded out. I find I tend to stare at the floor (where I'd normally look at the therapist) when talking about those sorts of topics, and that helps some.


You could also potentially write it down/print it out and show it to your therapist, if you think that could make it easier. Or if you're doing virtual therapy, type it in the chat (if the program has one--Zoom does, for example) or email it to your therapist.

[ScarletPimpernel]

That's what I did. L and I have only started talking about sex. What I did was write my whole sexual history out and gave it to her to read in session. She sat next to me and held my hand while reading it. I don't remember too much afterwards, but I know it was a positive experience. It felt good to get it all out and to be accepted.

We also talked about vibrators one day, and that was a positive experience as well. She welcomes any topic and any questions I might have.

[Taylor27]

My therapist is very open in that she listens and lets me do most of the talking. So far it's been a positive experience and she puts no pressure on me. I know she tries to help me feel less shameful about sex and other things related to it. I hope your therapist wont pressure you and will make it easy for you when you are ready to talk about it.

[*Beth*]

I've spoken with my therapist a number of times about my sexuality and sexual experiences. She's great about it, just treats it like anything else that's part of life. People are sexual beings; there shouldn't be anything weird about discussing sex.