Would this bother you?

So I'm quite annoyed with my T but I don't know if I'm overreacting (I probably am lol).

The situation is my T went on maternity leave back in March for six months. I received an email from T last Wednesday saying she would be offering online sessions starting at the end of July one day a week and asked if I would be interested in taking one of those sessions and if I would prefer early, mid or late morning and that she would get back to me with a time. I said early morning would be my preference.

T got back to me saying she could do 8:30am and asked if that suited me. I replied telling her that I start work at 8:30am (she already knows that) and because I would need to be at home for the online session I would end up being over an hour and half late for work which would not be suitable. I asked if she could do 8am instead. I waited 6 days for a response, meanwhile I'm getting very anxious and upset because I don't know if or when I will be able to see T again.

T finally replies saying she was "so happy I was able to ask for what I need" but 8am won't work for her and could I do the online somewhere else. Her suggestions were booking a room somewhere (like a library), doing it in a park or from my car. There is no where for me to book a room that is close to work and wouldn't cost me money (I already pay over $200 for the therapy session) and doing it in a public space like a park sounds absolutely horrible not to mention, aren't therapy sessions supposed to be confidential??. I also catch public transport to work so I can't do it from my car either.

I replied to T telling her none of those options suit me and I would just have to wait until she returns to in-person sessions. I also asked her what date she will be returning and if she would be offering 8am sessions (that was my session time before she went on leave). I am yet to get a reply.

A bit of background about me. I have had three T's leave me with two of them going on maternity leave and not returning and the other closing her practice. Needless to say having current T also go on maternity leave has been very difficult for me. I find it annoying that T is not able to be a bit more flexible in her schedule. I wasn't asking for much, just 30mins earlier. I also find it annoying that T is taking so long to reply; how hard is it to check your emails once a day? I was initially so excited when I heard from her but now I just feel let down.

I am sorry you are going through this it sounds painful. I wonder if it is taking so long because she is trying to coordinate with whomever will be caring for her child.

My therapist has a young child and ther have been a couple of situations where we were trying to plan am appointment that was not one of her regular times. She had to coordinate with her husband and work with his schedule which typically took a few days for him to work his schedule out.

Sure, maybe she is trying to coordinate child care but again, how hard is it to send an email saying that rather than leave me wondering for almost a week? I've had a feeling this entire time during her leave that something would happen that would result in me no longer being able to see T. I really hope that is not the case.

This would bother me, not only because you’ve already lost three T’s, but because you probably feel like you’re in limbo waiting for a response. When it does come, it’s a let down! Could ‘baby brain’ be a possible factor, here, among other things you might not be aware of going on for her? I’m not sure exactly how it affects anyone, when it can start or whether everyone experiences it differently, but I know it’s a real thing (not from personal experience, lol).

I would not like having to wait so long for a response either. And it would be frustrating not being able to meet at a time that works for you. So I get why you're upset.

It would motivate me to find a therapist who is available full-time. Sure, I would be annoyed, but I guess the bottom line for me would be to just find a better therapy situation. A therapist only available one day a week just wouldn’t have worked for me.

She’s a new mom and that’s hard to juggle. Not an excuse; just the reality. I know it is hard to have to think about changing therapists again, but it might be less personally stressful to just be proactive and make that change than to continue to have to deal with a lack of availability.

No - but my expectations from that profession are extremely low. I would just find another one if I really thought therapy could help. I think therapists are expendable and finding one who had a schedule that fit the client would be the path of least resistance

I know how you feel. I was ghosted by 2 therapists at the exact same time. One was being incredibly unprofessional since I was trying to get switched over from her to another T and she said she would help me but she didn’t respond to my first email, or my second pissed off email. It was just the level of unprofessionalism with these people that got to me more then the disappearance. If you don’t want to work with me or help me find someone new then tell me that. Don’t just refuse to respond.

I think she could have made an 'exception' and tried to accommodate you by e.g. moving you to 8am or offering you a different day (e.g. Saturday morning where she may have childcare IF that were the issue) seeing she is offering sessions online anyway.

I'd be annoyed, too. (And it sounds like you need to find a therapist who has already gone through menopause, lol.)

"Baby brain" is a thing I have observed in many new mothers so I might be inclined to cut a little slack, but even so it really shouldn't take six days to answer an email. It would also bother me that she only offers you one inflexible option for a session time and expects you to go out of your way to accommodate her.

I'm not getting another T. She is not due to start in-person sessions until September because like I already stated, she took 6 months maternity leave starting in March. The offering of online sessions was honestly an unexpected surprise but I suppose it is her way of easing back into working full time. I just got my hopes up thinking I would be able to see her earlier. I am also not terminating 2 years of therapy without any kind of discussion about it or closure. That's just ridiculous.

There is no such thing as "overreacting" to your own T. You should be free to say whatever you feel.