Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVII

SlumberKitty · Dec 14, 2021, 12:49 PM

Dear Julieanne, I would like to know if we are having a session tonight or on Saturday. You are the one who thinks I need an appointment and you wanted to think about which day works best for you but now it is Tuesday and I want to know if I am going to speak to you tonight or if it will be Saturday. I don't think that is too much to ask. Why do I even miss you? I barely know you. We've had two sessions. Thanks for trusting me though. HUG Kit

ArtieTheSequal · 04:37 PM

My dearest L: it is indeed a season of endings. My Rascal crossed the rainbow bridge this morning before we made it home. I prayed for that last night - that if he was in too much pain to wait for us to get home, that God take him sooner. He was such a sweet cat, I will miss him for a very long time. I'm so glad we have one more session left so I can talk about this a little bit too, before we say goodbye.

Mountaindewed · 04:31 PM

Tommorow we are back to in person after doing virtual last week. While I havent been stressing over our session today I have been trying to keep up with my physical apperance just for contiunity purposes.

I cant imagine what you will say when I say I like to eat canned potatos by themselves. It could be a pretty funny conversation. People don't get it and find it pretty gross.

unaluna · Dec 14, 2021, 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I cant imagine what you will say when I say I like to eat canned potatos by themselves. It could be a pretty funny conversation. People don't get it and find it pretty gross.

Hey - they dont go bad, you dont have to wash them, they are already salted (i get the low sodium ones myself), plus 8 million trillion jillion irishpersons cant be wrong (thats an old joke about 600,000 frenchmen - it was old when i was young!).

Altho i do like to mix up a cream of mushroom soup packet and pour it over - feels like a full meal. Slow and hot. I just ordered a shipment, plus cans of mushroom bits and pieces delivered this week, now just waiting for the taters.

You cant really wreck potatoes. And you dont have to do anything to them. Its like the perfect nonbinary food. (Ive been reading a lot of gender stuff lately

).

ScarletPimpernel · Dec 14, 2021, 05:55 PM

L,
I hate it when you tell me things you do for me. It makes me feel like I'm ungrateful because I want more. Is it wrong to want more good things in my life? Is it wrong to want more of you?

SlumberKitty · Dec 14, 2021, 06:28 PM

Dear IOP T. Thanks for the email back. I do appreciate it. I miss you but I think I'll be fine with Julieanne. Thanks for all you did for me. HUGS Kit

SprinkL3 · Dec 14, 2021, 06:41 PM

I eat canned potatoes on occasion. They are great fried or baked. I ate them when I didn't trust fresh produce for door deliveries during 2020.

Mountaindewed · 07:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Hey - they dont go bad, you dont have to wash them, they are already salted (i get the low sodium ones myself), plus 8 million trillion jillion irishpersons cant be wrong (thats an old joke about 600,000 frenchmen - it was old when i was young!).

Altho i do like to mix up a cream of mushroom soup packet and pour it over - feels like a full meal. Slow and hot. I just ordered a shipment, plus cans of mushroom bits and pieces delivered this week, now just waiting for the taters.

You cant really wreck potatoes. And you dont have to do anything to them. Its like the perfect nonbinary food. (Ive been reading a lot of gender stuff lately

).

Its just because I went grocery shopping yesterday and my fridge and freezer and pantry are full of food yet I chose to eat a 50 cent can of potatos. She may see it as restriction/disordered behavior instead of just a craving. My mom was a bit confused too. I have a couple purple sweet potatos left from Thanksgiving I should be eating before they go bad.

Although I have been up since 9:30 starving. So idk. Maybe it is slightly disordered.

Edit: yeah she may get pretty pissed that I went to bed super hungry and woke up super hungry and still only ate a rice cake but chugged a 12oz bottle of Coke and several zero and unsweetened drinks instead and didnt sleep because of all the caffeine.

I'm not really in the mood now for food either right now.

Mountaindewed · Dec 15, 2021, 07:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SprinkL3

I eat canned potatoes on occasion. They are great fried or baked. I ate them when I didn't trust fresh produce for door deliveries during 2020.

I forget where I heard about them. It could have been from this site. I've learned a few helpful things from this site. Like canned potatos exist, and that you can add syrup flavors to drinks at Sonic, and what kumbucha is, and what transference is in therapy and that I was having it with my ex therapist

This whole forum has been helpful in the 5 years I've been on it.

unaluna · Dec 15, 2021, 08:08 AM

The "eat this not that" website listed all the canned sodas in order of bad for you, not including diet sodas. Very interesting! Plus many i didnt know about. They didnt list my favorite, faygo rock n rye. I still dont know what flavor its supposed to be.

comrademoomoo · Dec 15, 2021, 08:25 AM

Something about this feels deeply uncomfortable. I wish I hadn't asked and I wish you hadn't said yes. I feel exposed. I don't think you met me today and I don't think you realised how hard it was to articulate those hidden fears. Sometimes you really open up to my bravery, this wasn't one of those times. And now I have a three weeks break. This feels awkward and itchy. I hope it passes and I feel something different in time. I had wanted us to end with ease and warmth which was an unrealistic want because ease and warmth are not words associated with me.

Mountaindewed · Dec 15, 2021, 09:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

The "eat this not that" website listed all the canned sodas in order of bad for you, not including diet sodas. Very interesting! Plus many i didnt know about. They didnt list my favorite, faygo rock n rye. I still dont know what flavor its supposed to be.

I only had the diet version once and it kind of tasted like a cherry root beer.

Mountaindewed · Dec 15, 2021, 11:19 AM

You helped me today and you werent weird and you didnt say anything goofy so why do I feel sad right now? Am I just sleep deprived? I didnt mention transfernce T for once the entire session. The only thing I said was when you asked if we were good for next week and I said yeah and I said I was supposed to have a therapy session last year on the 22 so the one next week will be a literal life saver. You seemed kinda confused and taken aback by that statement. But I mean, its the truth. Last year ****ed me over badly.

Mountaindewed · 12:52 PM

You didnt get grossed out by the canned potatos though. You just didnt know they existed. You did get grossed out by the rice cakes though. I said "they have tomato and basil" and you said "yeah thats gross." I wonder how you would have reacted to the chocolate ones.

Waterbear · Dec 15, 2021, 02:07 PM

Ok, I've realised something I think. I just have so much love to give, but I am very wary of who I give it to. There aren't many people in this world who I would 'choose' to be in line for it, sadly, having just been hurt way too many times. You taught me how to love, and I love you, and I learnt how to love other people too, but so far only one person has been chosen by me.

I wish there was a way people could choose to come together, like adoption for adults. There must be lots of older people out there who need the love of a child just as much as I need the love of a parent.

And one day I could be that parent figure for another child, as we don't have them. It just seems so sad that there's lots of people out there in need of love, and with love to give, but they are all alone.

LonesomeTonight · Dec 15, 2021, 03:14 PM

Dear T,
I feel maybe a little rejected that you would have been unsure about meeting me outside Friday. Even though I get it, because I'm worried about increasing Covid rates, too. But it's outside!

Maybe it's not so much rejected, but not feeling particularly hopeful about when you'd be willing to meet in person again. I mean, if you aren't even willing to meet outside (even though I was unsure about it, and it would have depended on the weather staying warm). Obviously the original January plan won't happen, but then I wonder how much further it will have to get pushed back? I guess at least starting in March, assuming numbers have improved at least a little, we could perhaps start meeting outside on occasion.

Thanks for understanding why the medication thing with D upset me so much. And fine, I'll try doing some meditation. And/or yoga.

Love,
LT

RoxanneToto · Dec 15, 2021, 04:53 PM

I think you said you’d probably be working again next week, but I can’t remember. Hope you’re recovering ok, regardless. Just wish I had better news about what’s going on with me (re. the flat purchase being delayed, and no response - at least, not yet - from K. I’m starting to get paranoid about that, now).

ArtieTheSequal · Dec 15, 2021, 08:05 PM

Hey L. I'm not sure how I'm going to say goodbye to you day after tomorrow while I'm grieving the death of my cat. I was okay much of today but when I fed the other 2 just a few minutes ago, I started crying again. I had to hold it in til I could leave the room because H is grieving the loss of Rascal harder than I am. H was his person, and all. And I'm still struggling a LOT with the guilt that we weren't here for him when he needed us the most. I understand that you need a vacation but man now I wish we could still have til 12/31. It's going to suck so bad saying goodbye to you Friday while I'm so sad about my cat.

But, I'm not grieving my cat alone, H is too, and so is our son, and almost everyone has lost a beloved pet at one time or another so I can talk about it with all of my friends. It doesn't have to be you - but, I just think it's gonna be even harder saying goodbye because I'm already sad anyway.

atisketatasket · Dec 15, 2021, 09:11 PM

I don’t know which one of you I’m addressing. But I’m ****ing tired.

Tired of people not seeing how much pain I’m in *even when I tell them repeatedly and directly*.

Tired of people assuming I’ll be all right. Hey, you know, somebody reach the **** out, huh?

Tired of self-absorbed idiots doing their self-absorbed thing.

Just tired.

LonesomeTonight · Dec 15, 2021, 09:48 PM

Dear T,
OK, I signed up for a (virtual) yoga class tomorrow morning. It's with a teacher I like and involves some meditation, too. I could have just done something free, but I figured there was a much better chance I'd actually do it--and go through the whole thing, rather than bailing early--if I paid for it and signed up for a set slot.

See, I'm trying!
Love,
LT

velcro003 · Dec 15, 2021, 10:04 PM

Hey T. I'm going to miss not seeing you for a couple of weeks. I hate the holidays. I don't know how I am going to get through it, and then followed up by wisdom tooth surgery. UGH. Not doing well, T.

LostOnTheTrail · Dec 16, 2021, 09:15 AM

Thank you for showing understanding beyond my wildest expectations. I know you get it now, and if it were possible, I appreciate you all the more for that. I appreciate that you shared from your own experience, to show that depth of understanding.

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Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVII

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