Couch 231: Live Long and Prosper!

I hope you ear is either feeling better or at least not worse!

Clever! But I hope that's not the full story.

Update on the P situation: He emailed me this morning offering a time to meet today and said if I wanted to take a break he'd prefer to discuss it, but I was of course free to take a break and come back. At this point, I thought it was best to actually talk it out, so I went. We talked about how I'd felt abandoned by so many people in my life, not the least of which is my birth mother. I feel he understands why this is bringing up stuff that's not related to him. And stuff that is related to him, like how I feel known by him in a way that I've never experienced before and that losing that is difficult for me. I realize that me wanting to take a break was also me wanting to put up a huge wall to hide behind and that maybe hiding gets me nowhere.

I just want to acknowledge that I do hear what some of you are saying about this situation and I don't discount your opinion. I appreciate hearing it. I'm just trying to do what feels best for me.

Having a tough time but ashamed to talk about it ugh.

I bought myself a reborn baby doll. It was a vinyl cheap one, not the expensive silicone ones. I'm hoping it will help me grieve not being able to have a child of my own.

I hope it does help

I hope it helps too, Scarlet.

I have been going coco bananas over the last couple of weeks because of imposed and increased social contact (I am a hermit) and my partner's life needs. I do not do well with others around me - and especially not in my house and when the contact is repeated or continuous. Needless to say, my therapist has been on one of her many jolly holidays so I am feeling very disconnected from her. I feel incompatible. Anyway, I have booked three nights in a yurt from tomorrow. Candles, fire, incense, wine, blankets, Scottish night sky, peace, just me, floor sleeping, space, time. I am desperate to get there.

On our family zoom call today my sister was just starting her afternoon of cooking/meal prepping. She always says that cooking is her therapy. Anyway she got me all enthused to make that butternut squash soup I had up in Jerome recently (the BEST soup ever!!) I found a copycat recipe online and printed it out, and am now heading to the grocery store to get the ingredients. If it turns out even close to as good as at the restaurant, I'll share the recipe!

Somewhere rainy, I hope. ;-)

That sounds really nice. I hope you find it enjoyable and get the space it sounds like you need. I need to do something like this soon.

Oh my goodness!! It took me all afternoon but the soup is done and it is delicious!! Next time I make it I will buy smaller squashes, the ones I used were pretty big so it made a LOT and it's super thick so I had to add a little skim milk to it before I ate a bowl. I also like nutmeg so I used more than a pinch. Recipe (from The Asylum's Famous Butternut Squash Soup | KeepRecipes: Your Universal Recipe Box)

2 large whole butternut squash, roasted
1 white onion, chopped
2 poblano peppers or green chili, roasted and peeled
6 oz Amber beer
2 c chicken stock
1/2 c brown sugar
1 T garlic, minced
1 pinch cinnamon
1 pinch nutmeg
1 Serrano chili, minced fine
1 c heavy cream
salt and pepper to taste

1. Cut the squash in half and remove seeds. Place in shallow roasting pans with water and roast at 400 degrees until very tender, approx. 45 minutes or more.
2. Remove squash from oven and cool.
3. Roast, peel and de-seed poblano chilis. Preheat skillet until scorching hot. Saute onions and chilies, then deglaze with beer. Add chicken stock, peeled squash and remaining ingredients except for the cream. Simmer together for 30 minutes then puree. Remove from heat and slowly fold in the heavy cream. Add salt and pepper to taste.

Mmmmm Artie that's gorgeous!! It won't be cool enough for soup here until November but I'm going to try it, thanks!

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Well, it's not really cool enough for soup here either haha but I couldn't wait any longer to try it! I'm sitting under the ceiling fan right now to cool off haha

Ooh i never thought of using poblanos in soup!

Speaking of cooling off...

Lately, I've been wondering why P keeps his office so warm. One day a couple of months ago, I was cold and asked if he would mind turning the AC up or off, so he did. Then I noticed it was rarely on and there have been several times his office was uncomfortable or kind of stuffy. I wondered to myself if it was because that one day I asked him to up the temp a bit, but then dismissed that idea, because why would he assume I was always cold because of one day and just figured he was comfortable at that temperature.

Yesterday in session, I was too warm and took off my outer layer. P asked if I was hot and I said yes. He said he was hot as well, but he thought I liked it warmer so that was why the AC was off. I said "one time I asked you to change the temperature". We've probably both been sitting there suffering (mildly) because one time I asked him to adjust the temperature. It's nice that he was willing to change the temp for me, but maybe we should have communicated a little better about it.

They give it just a little teeny bit of a kick!

Yeah, everything counts! I always sounded a little off to myself, like overly assertive in asking for the AC to be turned on, and t always looked a little shocked, like "why are you yelling at me?!"

So we i mean i! probably did half the work. I asked, but i didnt look at my weirdness in asking.

There is something very wholesome in their taste. I wonder if its a hint of garlic? What makes a poblano a poblano?

I made a huge mess in my kitchen today making that soup but it was worth it!! It was starting to get dark when I was cleaning up so i had to pause the cleanup and go get my walk in for the day. Just finished the cleanup and I froze 2 containers of the soup. Left some in the fridge for during the week. It took a LOT longer than 45 minutes to roast the squash - I definitely should have looked for smaller ones. Or cut them into more than just halves. Oh, well. Next time!

Yknow what was good though? My ear is feeling a lot better this evening. Maybe being in the kitchen all that time with the oven on and cooking on the stove top, the heat must have been good for it.

Field of Peeps (audience at college football game yesterday) i cant believe they got all those people to wear a highlighter neon yellow tshirt.

I make a squash soup that is similar and you can change the spices to make it different. I usually use evaporated milk rather than heavy cream because I don't digest hc well

2 more days off work. Yay!

That's a good idea, I may try that next time, it would be healthier that way I imagine.

that's awesome though. yellow is my favorite color!