Does T care how much you hurt?

That is so sad.

She seems to care, at least in a professional way. I think she finally understands how hurt I was by psychiatry. She was around when that happened and failed to help. She just went along with it. Now she is different. I'm not sure what made her change.

Talking about misdiagnosis irritated her until recently. Now she wants to discuss it and help out with my medical record correction request.

Apparently she felt bad about the entire ordeal. She told me one time that she would think about me and what she and the service did wrong.

At this point I don’t think she cares and she is in a rush to get me over to my next therapist. I can clearly tell from her Facebook account that she is a closet phobe. And after the email exchange we had earlier this week where she didn’t even mention any of the stuff I have going on I just think she is an asshole and I’m wondering if she’s hurting more then helping at this point.

I found that email exchange to be very hurtful and I had to stick up for myself and get a bit loud in order to be heard by her and get what I legit deserved.

My t gives zero shits about me, I'm just one of many clients and probably one of the more frustrating ones to work with.

And it is still a no from me...

I'm no longer in therapy - haven't been for about 10 years - but I do FB with my old therapists. They are aware of my husband's battle with Covid and recent death, and each of them has reached out to me (several times) in the last 6 months just letting me know they are there if I need them, particularly my last therapist who is in my area. They care and have always cared quite genuinely.

I had an incident last week with my IOP individual therapist that led me to think she doesn't care (we are actually doing a check in--30 minute appointment--today to go over this and my SH urges). She wanted to see the SH wounds and I was hesitant to show her but I did because I'm a people pleaser. She didn't say anything particularly empathetic. Just put some Neosporin on that and some gauze and tape. Nothing like, I'm so sorry you were hurting so much. Even though I know therapists can't say stuff like that. Anyway, kind of left me feeling that she doesn't care. But then she suggested this 30 minute check in so maybe she does and just sucked at showing it. I don't know.

Kit, I do not think it is out of bounds for a T to say that they are sorry you are hurting so much. I could see my T saying something like that to me.

Thanks. I had a T describe it that way once to me so I thought that was common for all T's. The IOP T does say stuff like, I'm sorry you have had such a hard week and stuff like that which feels more like sympathy than empathy, actually. But she did schedule me the 30 minute check in yesterday which is an action that shows she cares. Then last night at IOP I had to report that I had SH urges and the therapist asked me to stay after so I did and we talked about my support and my coping skills that I was going to use and that showed that she cared about me. She could have just let me leave the class without asking me to stay and process. So that is kind of nice. She didn't say anything particularly empathetic either. She just said let's put a plan together to keep you safe. Or something like that. But sometimes actions speak louder than words.

Wow, some of the replies here break my heart… and I can remember when I was working with those kinds of T’s.
Yes, yes, absolutely yes T, art T and Pdoc care about my feelings especially hurt/pain. OMG yes they care!
T shows it in typical masculine ways… like getting pissed off at my husband. He has also cried a little with me while apologizing that no one did anything. He is very firm that he never wants my discomfort in therapy or in the therapeutic process to go over a 5 (which we have discussed what a 5 is).

Art T has cried when I showed her a picture of my mother and I when I was about 3. She said my mom looked like pure evil and told me how she wanted to scoop up “that baby” and just hold her and love on her.

Pdoc shows it the least but she is quick with hugs when I am in pain… even if I have to drive almost an hour to get there after she closes to talk for a couple minutes and get hugs.

P didn't...or if she did, she had a funny way of showing it. R has always shown empathy for what I have been through/am going through. What I will say is that it's much harder to feel that over Zoom.

I'm eager to be in the same room with R again, although I have no idea when that will be. I started keeping a list of 'Things To Talk About Later', but it got pretty long, so I stopped. I'm holding back a lot over Zoom, in the interests of keeping myself functional.

My therapist decided to dump me through email after I told her I felt like she wasn’t helping but was hurting and I felt she was being unprofessional. What kind of therapist dumps their client in the first place with no immediate plan B and who does it through an email? Yeah she gave zero ****s about me.

I’m hoping this next one goes well. But I need to be careful that I don’t over share about my med situation or go overboard about my food issues or act like I’m a needy client even though I kind of am. This kind of behavior makes me unlikeable. Although I’m 99.9% my last therapist didn’t like me because she’s a bigot.

Yesterday I found a way to express to her just how much I am struggling. She knows I have been but not to what extent. She knows I have been dealing with multiple significant stressers.

She became very concerned about my wellbeing (I am not suicidal). I am burning out from work (healthcare) mixed with personal life stressers. She straight up said she recently had a friend dealing with something very similar and now has life long ramifications. She worries I may be heading there and cares about me. She does not want that for me.