Couch 232: Not Sully!

Man this week was exhausting. Last weekend I got kicked out of one of my online friends groups (long story short the leader of that group somehow got annoyed by me and didn't want to properly resolve the issues with me, I'm still unsure what exactly the issue was...). Then, all my other friends in that group started to voice their concern about him just kicking me out and after almost a week of discussion, the leader has now decided to leave the group. It's really weird, I'm happy about the support that all my other friends gave me and that they didn't agree with the claims he made. But at the same time I'm quite sad for the guy, I never really minded him and had felt like our relationship had improved in the recent years as well. And as far as I know the group was quite an important place for him as well. I didn't mean for him to get pushed to leave at all...

Just gonna relax on the couch a bit if that's okay. Hugs to all of you who need one!

HUGS @ChickenNoodleSoup

Hugs, CNS.

Opposite for me. I think or thought i was fascinating. Then i realized i was looking for answers on the wrong street.

Hugs, Scarlet, I'm sorry...

I agree with therapists trting to get you see things that arent there. I had a painiting on a canvas board that kept on falling down and hitting me. He said maybe it was telling me something so i brought it in to see as i was willing to look at things but our discussion wasnt very enlightening even after we talked about what made me paint it. Turns out i left a window partly open and the draft flowed along the walls and blew it off it was just coincidence that i was passing by when it happened as it started falling down after i left that room. The draft was depenedent on the wind outside. This just one of many things he pointed out were patterns but after discussion didnt really come to anything.

Well, it's like goodness or beauty. It's really in the eye of the beholder, not the (biased) self.

I find you fascinating and mysterious, enigmatic and riddlesome. FWIW.

That's so funny, my black cat also does hard headbutts. Has since day one, and she's still a kitten!

Kit--so glad your therapy appt went well today. I also hope you can keep the appt with your regular IOP T to see if you can resolve any of your issues with her.

Slumber, I am so sorry. Keep talking here if it helps.

My cat is also black. I wondr if it is a black cat thing like red headed humans needing more anaesthetic.

I don't find me dull but I don't think I am fascinating to others. I don't find delving into minutiae of my life or questioning motives or reasons behind everything I think or do or feel is interesting or relevant at all.

To be able to tolerate the rest of us?

Aw your sweet! But you probably just caught me with my hand in the cookie jar!

My tuxedo (black and white) cat Helen likes to be rubbed with a fair amount of pressure but she doesn't head butt. My mostly white cat Amelia prefers lighter pets and she doesn't head butt either. With Helen I sort of imagine petting her with a towel in the hand and drying her off. That is the intensity that she likes. She doesn't like light pets at all. Esther my cat that passed in May would head butt fairly often and hard too! She preferred sort of medium pets and she was grey. So out of a sample of three it seems to lightest color likes lightest pets and darkest color likes hardest pets! But of course this is totally unscientific. A 3 pet sample does not make for a fair representation of all cats! And all three of the cats like/liked being brushed!

Sigh. Today is usually the day that I would have an appointment with IOP individual T but she is on vacation. I am going to miss my appointment today. I hope I still have an appointment with her next Friday. But to go to twice a week and then nothing with her for like two weeks is tough. Even if all we seem to be doing is butting heads. And everything I seem to be doing and saying is wrong lately.

Today is Donut Friday at work and the employee who usually brings the donuts is on vacation. So everyone is like, "Where's the donuts?!!!" So someone is going to go to the donut shop and pick up the donuts!

Today's session's recurring themes: unsettled, ickiness (I asked if that was an official psychological term), and "thumbs-up emoji" (spoken, not like we were using the chat).

Dr. T helped me process my seeing ex-MC during our outside in-person session Wednesday (he said I went sort of pale when I saw him). I initially kept trying to convince myself and everyone else that I was fine and not affected, but then being affected showed up in a physical way with feeling sick/nauseated later that evening.

He said how it was natural to feel unsettled, even if I felt I was generally over it, comparing it to silt getting stirred up in the water. That there are numerous people from his past--romantic, friends, colleagues, neighbors--where he'd have a similar reaction to running into them unexpectedly. It really helped to hear that. I had this fear that having some reaction meant I wasn't mostly "over it," as I'd thought I was. But he said it didn't mean that, how running into someone is sort of another layer, another hurdle.

So I'm feeling much better about it all now.

HUGS LT, I'm glad Dr. T helped you process it.

Thanks, Kit!


Sorry you're missing IOP T...

See, this is why you are fascinating. I don't know if cookie jar is just an idiom in your usage or a double entendre.

I got my hair cut then went to the gym this morning, didn't swim cuz the lanes were all full and people were waiting, so I just did some shoulder stuff. It helps keep my shoulder feeling normal, continuing the exercises.


My hair: I had her clean up the layers and get rid of more of the bottom length, it is now chin-length. That part I love! And I had the curtain bang thingies cut about halfway gone, I didn't like them so long, they were annoying me. They might be a little too short now but eh, my hair grows fast. I may briefly share a pic if I can get a decent one.

Great job showing yourself some self care with the hair cut and shoulder workout, Artie! I'm proud of you! HUGS Kit

P.S. Artie, my hair is about two fingers longer than chin length at the moment. My hair grows fast too.

You really get me!

You are totally right. I am thinking like a therapist. (I am not setting something like this up again actually i didnt set it up it was just a happy coincidence that peeople had black cats liked being petted harder after my first post which was true. And SK mentioned the scietific method which has always been the sticking point with me and psychology)

I missed regular IOP T during what would have been our session time. I don't know why I missed her. We have been butting heads lately and it feels like everything I say and do is wrong. But I still missed her. Probably some sort of trauma bond or something! Sheesh. I keep thinking about her. I wish I wouldn't. I think I'm attached which is bad because I won't see her after IOP ends. They want you to be vulnerable and open with them, then you connect, then they throw you out into the street. Humph.