Couch 232: Not Sully!

Sorry, Kit. Could you consider trying that other T who go back to you? So at least you'd have someone for December? Hugs...

I will stick to my current plan of when i reach retirement age i will spend some of my super on a small demo model or whatever,

I did this several years ago. You might consider getting a chair-walker - its a walker that converts to a seat. A guy near me uses one to get to the bus, he has trouble breathing.

I like having the uber take me to & from the dentist, im kinda shaky when i get out sometimes.

D's teacher told H when he picked her up that she'd had a rough day and that she would email us about it. Kinda dreading the email... I was going to email her anyway to ask how D was doing (which H told her). So now I wonder if she's waiting for me to email? If I don't hear from her by tomorrow morning, I'll send something. I was just talking about this topic with Dr. T today, too, concerns about how she's doing in school. And how in past years, we've had lots of communication back and forth. But not much this year so far.

Good thinking about the chair walker but then i would have to admit that i am disabled which isnt in my childhood programming. I have complicated feelings about my disability as i never let myself see it. Its hard to explain. I want to be able to access these things but i wont let myself.

I am teaching a 1-credit freshman seminar, basically on outsiders in the cultures in my field of history (women, slaves, trans, etc.). Today was the disabled. At one point I asked them if they had to be disabled, which disability would they pick? (Vision, hearing, mobility, mental illness/incapacity.) To my surprise, 60% of them went for mental illness/incapacity.

Why do people see mental illness as less of a disability than physical?

Also online grocery shopping...why did i wait so long? 20 minutes online instead of 1 1/2 hours if i had to drive and walk around.

I think it’s hard to understand how disabling mental illness can be if you or anyone you know don’t have it. Plus, it is seen as treatable–medication, therapy—whereas blind is blind and likely won’t change.

(I am not saying that I believe this, only that that’s what I think my students were thinking.)

I suppose you are right .I remember being told to buck up by mother in law and being told i would feel better after i had my hair done. Inwish it was that simple to stop being depressed.

You could pretend to be a cigarette smoker!

At first i was like, "NO! I wanna pick my own bananas and broccoli!" Now i really dont give af.

Same! My one frustration is when they substitute something that I wouldn't have wanted. I like the Whole Foods via Amazon Prime one because you can pick from a list what you want the substitution to be (though some of the options in those lists are pretty random--like for Oreos, possible substitutes include, say, dinner rolls). Wegman's, the shopper will text proposed substitutions, but you often have to be staring at the phone the whole shopping trip to catch it in time (or it's "they're already at checkout, too late!") At least you can say "no subs" for both. I don't think that's an option at Harris Teeter.

Oh, kinda funny thing about the Whole Foods--it used to be free delivery for order $35 or more if you have Amazon Prime, which was really nice. Then, as of Monday, they decided to charge $9.95 for delivery (though pickup is free, and WF is maybe 15 minutes from me). I was all annoyed about this, saying to H, "Well, I'm not ordering delivery from them again!" What did I do last night? (We were both busy and tired and needed some necessities like milk and bread, plus veggies for the guinea pigs.) I'm such a sucker...but I was also thinking of the whole "time is money" thing. Like it would probably take me 45 minutes (including waiting for them to load car) to do a pickup.


But I'll likely just plan ahead and do pickup at there or Wegman's from now on, for the most part.

Yeah, you do have to be "with them" while they shop, so they can text you.

Whole Foods sells Oreos?

The world is changing faster than I can keep up.

Part of my job before I changed departments was picking items for customers curbside pickup and delivery. If we were out of an item it brought down our "pick rate" but if we substituted something else our pick rate went up. There was a lot of pressure to substitute. I always tried to get the same item in a different brand but a lot of pickers substituted bizarre stuff.

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Ugh, my dad berated me for being depressed (which is why I never told him or my mother) when he found my psych meds because I just need to think positive, and that I'm pathetic and weak. Thinks he knows more than a psychiatrist and shamed my sister's mother in law into going cold turkey on her bipolar meds. She had a bad relapse.

I've pretty treatment resistant depression, and multiple other conditions (weird to have to educate my own psychiatrist on the DID and she's not junior) and yeah, I notice my friends without chronic mental health or chronic physical health issues really don't understand that I and some of my other friends can be of similar age (under 40) and can't just get well...

It's like "oh why do you have so many health problems? When are you getting better?"

Mental health disability isn't recognised here anyway, and people aren't sympathetic to invisible physical health disabilities (eg certain autoimmune conditions) too. And of course the wonderful result of stigma where physical problems start being dismissed as psychosomatic and then years later, it's an autoimmune condition.

A (different) friend unfortunately developed chronic gout and is unhappy about needing to take one daily medication long term. I dunno... how is that worse than pretty regular painful gout attacks? Hers isn't due to poor diet but I'm sure plenty of people will say so to her, rather frustratingly.

I'm biting my tongue about how I feel 1 med is "just 1" - it's just mean I know.

Oh, they totally don't--I guess Newman O's or whatever the natural brand is!

Oh, interesting! Glad you tried to at least pick similar items.

Hugs (if wanted), QM...

Before Individual IOP therapist went on vacation (also when I got kicked out of IOP) I had an appointment for this Friday to talk to her telehealth. I emailed her yesterday because I knew she would be coming back from vacation today and asked her if we still have that appointment and she said no. That she would see me the following Tuesday. Okay so that's not that far away, it's like 5 days. But now my mind is going crazy with thoughts like "she's rejecting me", "she's trying to get out of seeing me" and stuff like that. Sigh. When did the therapy relationship get so complicated!?!!

It also hurts the trust in the relationship because she SAID we would have an appointment on Friday. Just like she SAID I wouldn't get kicked out of IOP if I went to the hospital. Maybe she just really doesn't want to deal with me and wants an out.

Rollator chair walkers are fantastic, particularly if you spring for a really nice one that folds up, has brakes, etc. My husband switched from crutches (truly a p.i.t.a.) to a chair walker when he had his first knee replacement. It was a game changer for him. He started taking walks again, knowing he could just stop and sit for a bit if he got too tired or in pain. He used it to carry things around the house. He LOVED his rollator chair walker. It was freeing for him. Think about it.

I hear you. Personally though, I was fortunate enough to have my mental illness improve as did my husband, and I know a number of people who largely lead pretty normal lives with their mental illness. Much has to do with the level of disability which, as in all things, is a range. I am sure my perspective would be completely different if the level of my mental illness had not turned around and had affected the quality of my life to greater degree than it did.

I would never choose chronic physical pain, for instance, as a disability, having watched my husband suffer from that for his whole life. His physical pain was extreme, so that's my bias there.

I think much depends on what an individual has experienced. So, I'm not sure if it so much always a matter of people seeing mental illness as less disabling as much as it is what people know (or think they know) or what they fear to lose.

My dad also has a chair walker and loves it. It helps him walk straighter and faster. When we're watching my nieces, the middle one hops in the chair and goes for a ride. He can also carry groceries with it. And when H came home dizzy from his wisdom teeth extractions, we used it as a wheelchair.