[pixiedust72]

I’m thinking about sending my T an email to let her know how much I’m struggling with S ideation. I was advised to do this by the crisis line. My thoughts are at the point where I fantasize about it 24/7 even when I’m at work, eating, about to go to sleep. I can’t think of anything else but (sometimes violent) death scenarios.

I’m not sure if this is okay to email my T since the only time I’ve emailed my therapist was to schedule an appointment. I don’t know if I should ask for an extra appointment because I feel like I’ve done that a lot recently and need to rely on my own coping skills more. Should I send an email and what would it say? What would be the point of sending it? Just to let her know what’s happening? I’m really going back and forth on this.

[KLL85]

I think it massively depends of what your T’s policy is on out of session and crisis contact.
With my T it would be a big massive no to email him, I would be breaking his boundaries and most likely would just be told to go to A&E and then next session I would imagine he would want to have a conversation about maintaining boundaries.
A lot of T’s however are open to being contacted if you’re in a bad place. It all depends on what their personal policy is, and just maybe prepare yourself that if you do email you may not get the response that you want.
If she is pretty flexible with booking additional sessions I would perhaps look to do that, and then discuss how you’re feeling in the session. I totally get the point about wanting to use your own coping skills, but when suicidal thoughts are becoming that intense, I think that is a perfectly acceptable reason to ask for help and see if there is an extra session available.

[Lostislost]

I used to email my T between sessions if I was really struggling. He used to offer to call me, or see me for an extra session which was helpful at the time.

The last time I did it, earlier this year, his response was awkward. He didn't offer to call and hasn't offered to see me for an extra session in years. Maybe I needed him too much and he got sick of it I don't know.

But if you never have emailed them in a crisis before I would say go for it, see what they say. They might be able to offer support between sessions. I hope you are ok.

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

I've been in therapy for 5 years now. In the first three years, I'd have an extra session every 1-2 weeks, until we went over to two sessions for a while. By now, I can mostly reach out via phone, but I still do that most weeks. It's completely fine to reach out to your T as much as you need to, though it's a good idea for the two of you to discuss the exact policy on this. You're still developing your different coping skills and wanting to rely on someone is very common, but different Ts have different boundaries on what is okay to do (for example I can't just call my T every day he works, we have set days).

What I'd probably do in your shoes is contact her and ask whether it'd be okay to write something, if you don't feel like going for an appointment and otherwise I'd go for an appointment and discuss other ways of contact there as well as the current struggles.

[LonesomeTonight]

I think it's definitely worth reaching out to your T in this situation. If you're unsure of her email policy, you could just write something brief, like, the first couple sentences of your post (and include the fact that you contacted the crisis line and that they suggested you contact her). If you wanted, you could say you were considering asking for an extra session and ask about her availability, too.

I've emailed mine numerous times between sessions if I've been struggling, and he always sends some sort of reply, generally in the morning. He's helped provide some support (even just knowing he'll reply in the morning has helped me get through a difficult night). I've also asked for earlier or extra sessions, which he has usually been able to give me. A few times, he didn't have space in his schedule, but once, when he realized it was a crisis, he added an extra session at the end of his day to meet with me. Another time, he had a last-minute virtual session with me in the evening (but this was unusual for him).

Mine made his email and texting policy clear from the beginning, and we've discussed it throughout the time I've been seeing him (4 years). And he's said from the beginning, too, that I can always ask for an extra session. I'm not sure what your T has or hasn't said to you about this, but I think a brief email is fine. And you can even say, "I hope it's OK that I'm emailing." I imagine your T would want to know that you're struggling.

Also, if you think you might want an extra session, it's probably best to come right out an ask for one. I know some T's might go ahead and offer, but for mine, I have to specifically ask.

[ArtleyWilkins]

This would be a situation where my therapist and/or pdoc would want me to pick up the phone and call, AND try to get in for an additional appointment.

[Mountaindewed]

One of my T’s used to let me email her all the time before it became a boundary issue. Since I started sending a lot of SI ones and she wouldn’t see them until a couple hours after I had sent them. She said if I had done something between the time I sent the email and the time she read it a couple hours later it could cost her her license.

My last T encouraged emails between sessions and would often start a chain of them herself about things. I did send a crisis type one one time and she called my mom but she still allowed me to email her after that.

I found her to be more helpful and understanding in emails then in person.

[Miswimmy1]

i also agree that it really depends on what the therapist's policy is. but i tend to think that the worst thing that can happen is that the therapist will say to go to the emergency room . i'm sorry that things are so rough right now

[MuddyBoots]

My therapist wouldn't accept that. She would just want me to go to the ED or call the crisis line. She doesn't give out her email for this reason. I would try to call her though, but I wouldn't expect a call back other than "I think you need to go to the hospital" if she thought such a response was necessary.

I don't know your therapist so I'm not exactly sure what her policy on this would be though. If the crisis line told you to email her, I guess I would go for it in this situation.

[SlumberKitty]

My individual IOP T would tell me to go to the hospital. I don't even have regular T's email so it would be pointless to try to get a hold of him. It really depends on the therapist and what their email policy is. It can't hurt to try but just be prepared that the response might be nothing, might be short, might be a discussion of boundaries, or it might be helpful. HUGS hope you feel better soon.

[Victoria'smom]

At the point that you are at my T would expect me to go to the ER, take prn meds, and/or call my pdoc.

[HALLIEBETH87]

I think you know deep down you need a higher level of care. Please go seek help. <3

[pixiedust72]

I just don’t really think the hospital is an option for me since I don’t have insurance even though I’m sure I need it. I do think a higher level of care would be good but I don’t know how that would fit into my life.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I know here in CA, they have emergency MediCal if you go to the hospital without insurance. Maybe they have similar in other states?