Couch 233: Nothing’s Ghana Stop Us Now

Hugs, Kit. Sorry about the Christmas party date--I guess it's good he was honest with you beforehand, at least? And sorry about the job, too.

Hope you'll be able to see Julieanne ant that she'll be helpful.

How can they report it? They dont have actual knowledge of it, unless they walked in on you and ex-t in flagrante delicto (lawyerese for doing it). OTOH, if you show them bite marks (obviously not self-inflicted) or something? They might be mandated to report that.

Am i too old to go to law school?

@@ - did info double book you with a jobbie nooner? That just seems very suspicious to me. But then i never liked her.

ATAT, I'm not sorry that happened. I'm FURIOUS that happened. I would not see her later today, either. Tell her "too little, too late" and that you will decide whether you want to continue with "the relationship."

Book another session, but think about it first before keeping the appointment. And go back, if you like, on YOUR terms. If you want to talk about it, that's fine. But if you don't, then do not let her insist upon it. Usually I believe that processing things is important... but not when the therapist is the one who has screwed up this badly. You should not have to pay in order to process this egregiously awful behavior on her part. If she wants to discuss it for one session, fine. Let her comp you that session. Others, use her in whatever way you can still find her useful.

That just takes some huge brass cajones. She is saying "this group of colleagues is more important to me than you are. You have to leave right now. I am apologizing because it is the polite thing to do, but my actions speak volumes about who I really value - - myself."

Sorry, but I'm livid. I hope you're able to calm down more effectively than me!

Seriously, being sidelined by her is not acceptable in any way.

Sent from my SM-G998U using Tapatalk

I've been thinking about this. In all my years of therapy the only things they said were reportable were abuse to minors or dependent adults, IDK about spousal abuse. Suicidal thoughts, actions, homicidal thoughts, actions, stuff like that, yes. I have never heard them say anything about breaking confidentiality because of something a former therapist did. HUGS Kit

Will "see" Julieanne via Zoom either tomorrow or Saturday. She wants to think about which day. I don't care which day. I didn't plan on seeing her anyway.

I scheduled my booster for next week.

I feel like Rachel in friends - i tried scheduling at my usual pharmacy and couldnt get a date til next year!! So i tried my vaccine pharmacy and they had a much sooner opening. Re whether or not rachel was pregnant? I WAS gonna wait until they came out with a new vaccine.

Different codes of ethics say different things (depending on whether the new person is a psychologist, social worker, counselor, etc.). There might be different legal implications as well, although I am not a lawyer!!! I'm not aware of it being mandatory to report such things if there is no current danger, but perhaps it could be in some state I don't know about?

Would it be possible to conceal the identity of the previous therapist? Or would you need to request records from them or are there some other obstacles that would make this impossible or untenable? (You don't need to describe the obstacles... Just asking for clarification of the situation.)

Sent from my SM-G998U using Tapatalk

I would definitely conceal identity, I just don’t want to be pressured into disclosing - thanks

I would not give the new therapist the name of the old one. The therapist could try and pressure and then I would not answer and even leave if the therapist did not comply with my boundaries

ATAT -I don't know. That sort of thing actually was not a big deal to me with therapists for whatever reasons- I had many other things that would be. If it is a deal breaker for you it makes sense. Do you want to tell her why or just not go back?

I don't think many therapists would pressure you into disclosing. Most of them are not fond of confrontation, and having to report a colleague, or someone they perceive as such, comes pretty close to that. Some might want to know to make sure they don't refer clients there, but that's not serving your interests, so: not your problem.

I would firmly but politely decline to disclose. If you're worried, you could state during the intake or interview session that this is not negotiable for you. This is something you want to discuss, as it had an impact on you, but the decision of whether any reporting is ever to take place belongs entirely to you.

(Or something like that... Whatever you are comfortable with! I'm not aware of the entire situation, of course.)

Sent from my SM-G998U using Tapatalk

I was going to suggest similar, that you say in the intake session (or before, if you have a brief phone call or email exchange to set up the session) that you aren't willing to disclose and do not want the therapist to be reported.

This is a different situation, but when I met with my current therapist, it was partly to consult about my former marriage counselor. I initially made it clear to him that I didn't want to disclose his name, but ultimately ended up doing so by choice (not pressure). But I had to know in the beginning that it was OK not to disclose. The same when I consulted with another T for one session about this T.

If they can't agree to that, then I'd suggest looking for another T.

And even if you did disclose, I don't think they'd be required to report unless it was a case where you disclosed they were currently doing something to harm you or someone else, but I'm not positive. That's also something you could clarify in the beginning--under what circumstances would you report a therapist?

Thank you everyone 😊

Hey couch. My son just called, he's taking care of Rascal (diabetic cat) while we're out of town. Rascal's not doing very well tonight, he said he's not eating or drinking and when he tried to give him a little tuna, he tried to stand up but fell down and wouldn't even try to eat it. He said he won't drink anything either, is just laying down with his head on the floor. He can't get up on the ottoman where he loves to spend his time. H talked to him over the phone (H is Rascal's person) and son said that he perked up a little bit and tried to sit up, but then laid right back down. We're going to get some sleep now and then head for home as soon as H has enough sleep to do the drive. I feel awful that our son is having to deal with this tonight. Rascal had been doing pretty well lately, all things considered (or we wouldn't have left him), and son said he even went outside yesterday for a bit, but now tonite he said Rascal's eyes look like nobody's home. On the one hand I'm praying that he doesn't cross the rainbow bridge before we get home to be with him, but on the other hand I don't want him to be suffering either. It's so hard when our beloved pets get this old (he's going on 15) but he has had a long and good life and has always been a contented cat. I hope we make it home before he passes. Son said it seems like he's not going to make it much longer. Son doesn't dramatize like I do, he's very matter-of-fact, so if he is saying that, it's likely true. I'm so sad that I'm not there with him. We've had him and his brother since they were little-bitty kittens freshly weaned from their mama.

My son said he's leaving the tv on all night because h has it on pretty much 24-7 when he's home so it may bring some comfort to him anyway. I hope we get home in time. I better get to bed, night couchies.

I'm sorry Artie. When our beloved Roxy died, we had gone out to the store, but she waited until we got home. At least that's what I'd like to think. Don't feel guilty about pets well loved.

Hugs, Artie. I hope your cat is able to hold on until you get home.

Thinking of you and Rascal, Artie.

Artie, thinking of you and your dear little Rascal. Hope all is well until you can get home to him. HUGS Kit

Thank you all. Sadly, we didn't make it home in time. He crossed the rainbow bridge before we made it home this morning. I take solace in what the vet said (we took him over there earlier) that there was not anything more we would have been able to do for him; it was just his time and it was natural, he looked peaceful, like he just fell asleep. Still, I've been crying off and on since we got home and found him this morning. I'm thankful that I have one last session with L on Friday to talk about this a little bit with her.

HUGS Artie, I am so sorry for the loss of Rascal. I know that is so difficult to lose a pet. I know he will forever be in your heart. I am glad that he was able to go naturally. It was very hard putting my Esther down last May. I'm sorry you couldn't be there but I am glad that he was peaceful and that you have a session left with L to discuss this. HUGS HUG HUG HUG Kit

Thank you, Kit. My son had such a lovely thought last night before he left to go back home - he told me Mom I left the TV on for him because it's always on when Dad's home and it will make him more comfortable. I'm sure that is a huge reason why he looked so peaceful - things felt 'back to normal' of sorts with the TV noise so he laid down and went to sleep.

I'm sorry for your loss, Artie.

So sorry for your loss, Artie...

Artie, im so glad your h talked to rascal at the last. Rascal knew you were with him.

Eta - stopdog - just heard on public tv station - a dr called covid "wily"