Couch 234: Ready, Set, Go!

Hugs, Artie (didn't see your rant, and no need to apologize even if I had--I mean, unless you were going on about how much we all suck or something!) I think it makes sense to look for a new T if you think that would be helpful. L may have reached the limit of what she can give you, and you may be in a place where a different T with a different perspective, body of knowledge, and style is what you need to move forward. But like you said, that doesn't take away from your work with her.


Switching from ex-T (and ex-MC) was definitely helpful to me. And I could see potentially having to switch again at some point.

Thanks LT. Nah, the rant was allllll about H. long story short he wants to refi our new house already. Argh. I'll spare y'all my stress about that.

Thanks too, you're right, L probably did reach the limit of what she can give me but..... she didn't want to admit it. Or, she just wanted ME to realize it? I don't know. Actually when I think back she kinda DID tell me that when she said she was wanting to make some changes to her practice. I just didn't really hear it at the time, I guess.

HUGS Artie! Can't wait to see the pictures of the lapghan too!

Bored out of my mind at work today. Did all my work yesterday.

I can't believe it is almost 2022! My Dad turns 70 in 2022! I am planning a big party for him but I suppose a lot will depend on Covid. Sigh.

Thanks, Kit.


I wish your Dad an early happy 70th! I'll be turning 60 in 2022. I told H awhile ago that I want a big party. Will depend on COVID as well, of course!

Son texted and said they're both continuing to improve, gf's fever is now gone as of last night as well. So good news there! I've been a little sniffly/sneezy today but nothing major. Hoping it's just a cold.

Good news on Son and Son's GF! Glad they are getting better!

Hope you are just having allergies. HUGS Kit

I kind of miss my therapist but I don't have any real need to see her right now so I am not texting her. I will text her on New Years and wish her a happy holiday.

Artie - T only sees clients weekly for 2 years and then starts to tapper down with them. She says her clients can always come back, but she feels after two years, clients need a change otherwise they can't continue to grow. I'm not saying I agree with her per se. Anyways, she used her maternity leave to get me to try another therapist. I didn't want to start over with another T, but we agreed I needed one in the interim. That's when I met L. L has told me a few times that if I didn't do the work I did with T, she wouldn't have been a good fit for me. So T helped me be able to have this relationship with L.

My point is that maybe your L was meant to only be there for the length of time she was. Maybe her encouraging you in your decision to move on was a blessing from her. She gave and helped you a lot in the 10 years? Now you have the skills and knowledge to move onto the next phase of your therapy.

That's how I see it with T. T encouraging my relationship with L was her blessing to move on and continue bettering myself.

L will always be there in your heart and mind. But like others said, she might have given you all she could give you. Maybe the relationship with a new T will also last 10+ years. Maybe shorter or longer. But I bet when you find the right one, you will learn in new ways, do new work, and continue to grow.

For now, give yourself permission to grieve, no matter what that looks like. Honor the grief. "Grief is the price of love". And I believe it's worth it.

Thanks so much, Scarlet. I already had felt like in order to continue the next stage of my growth, I had to leave L and go it on my own for awhile. I think honestly, in the back of my mind, I've known for quite awhile now that I need to work with someone else but I was so dern attached to L, that I was completely ignoring what I knew. I even made that one attempt awhile back and contacted another t but they didn't get back to me so I totally dropped the idea and went back to L.


I suppose that the realizations I've been having lately about our "relationship" is how I am grieving the loss of it. I miss her, or well, fantasy-her I suppose, but I'm not crying over it.


Yet.

I'm going to use the next few weeks of focusing pretty much solely on work (because of all the overtime) be a cleansing of sorts and then in February, start the search for a new t that takes my insurance.

Thanks!

I'm getting curious to see how it's gonna look myself - just went and laid out the squares I have done. Still have a few more to go but here's what I have so far, each square is 9 inches.

I had chickpea and turmeric pasta for dinner. It was good.

Please burp facing that-a-@@way!

Eta - geez when covid is over, i hope to never see a closeup of a stick going up a persons nostril.

I think you are projecting your GI system onto mine.

I feel no need to burp, nor have I done so, since consuming dinner.

Aha! So you admit you burp!

My alltime favorite meme is of the little baby skunk where it says got a cute new kitty but boy can it fart!

The university I work for now is requiring boosters. Which is fine, but they shut down their clinics and they haven't said when they are reopening. It is not a public but a religious school (same religion I rejected as a youth) and the nurse who is in charge of covid hysteria induction - I hate her. I don't mind the vaccine but this woman is personification of why I hate western medicine practitioners

Can you go to CVS or some such place? Avoid the woman?

I did not admit I burped. There was nothing in my language to suggest that. It could just as easily be read as “I have heard ex-hankster burp so many times I know what a burp is.”

I should have been a lawyer.

I doubt she personally administers the shots - I know the nursing students were the ones giving the shots this past year when they were vaccinating the faculty and students. The university did an absolute crap job at it. I took friends to the big state university a couple of hours away to get their shots last spring (I am the youngest in my group and was not eligible yet) - the state uni was an absolute joy to deal with. My school was a complete disorganized idiotically planned out disaster area

Freudians and their fascination with bodily functions. And the sense of humor of a 10 yr old boy.

I'm feeling really triggered tonight. I miss L and wish she was here to soothe me. Or at the very least respond back to me. I hate vacations. I still have a week until our next telehealth session with no between session contact, and then another week until our in-person session. And then in another 2 weeks is her wedding. And then in February she's moving offices and I'll lose my safe space. And I'm still waiting to find out if she has to move.

Hugs, Scarlet...that all sounds really difficult.

I object!

You simply said you feel no need to burp IN THE CURRENT TIME, and that you either have not felt the need to burp, or have not actually burped (your meaning was unclear), since consuming dinner, i.e., the TIME AFTER your comestications. I simply, not necessarily incorrectly, given no evidence to the contrary, assumed you burped like a sailor all thru the meal.

And thats why i love you.

Sending hugs, Scarlet.

I was awake almost 3 hours during the night had a zillion doomsday scenarios running through my head and couldn't sleep. Should have gotten up and watched TV or something. Oh, well. finally fell back asleep at like 4am. Dreamed I was in old-world Italy, but I don't remember anything about it other than that. I wish I'd written it down. One of those, I'm sure I'll remember I'll write it down later moments of stupidity haha. now i'm trying to focus on work and not getting much done at all. it's lunchtime now and h and I are going to go ahead and do the first of 2 covid tests (the kits we bought come with 2 that you do 24-36 hours apart) and today is day 5 since we were exposed.