Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLIV

LonesomeTonight · Jul 11, 2022 at 10:53 AM

Dear T,
I miss you. I imagine walking by your office to see R today might intensify that. I do hope you're having fun and relaxing though. I wonder if you're at the beach?
Love,
LT

Mountaindewed · 04:03 PM

Now I'm not even sure you will be at this consultation on Friday or if I'm just meeting with her. Please email me soon because I am so confused.

I truly think I'm the one going insane. I'm just not sure whats the cause of it. As for the eating part of things, if I eat what I want to eat instead of some forced diet food log thing that you come up with that involves a ton of strange things I don't want to eat, the less of a problem we'll have overall.

LonesomeTonight · Jul 11, 2022 at 04:06 PM

Dear R,
That was a very insightful session! Glad we'll be talking Wednesday, too, as it felt very "to be continued." I'm wondering if Dr. T would be willing to actually talk about some of that? Maybe if I said it came up with you, he'd be more willing to address it? Perhaps that's something we can talk about Wednesday.
--LT

LostOnTheTrail · Jul 11, 2022 at 04:43 PM

I feel like I'm living in a land of deep inhales and long exhales, all in an effort to ward off unfathomable levels of anxiety.

Nothing new has happened, but these moments keep coming.

LonesomeTonight · Jul 11, 2022 at 05:23 PM

Dear T,
Well, apparently you're still alive, as you sent me invoices a bit ago. So, I don't need to do a "still alive?" check yet. R was helpful today. I'm wondering if you'll be willing to further discuss some of what she and I talked about? I mean, I'm sure you'll listen to me share it, but are you willing to actually kind of dig into it? I know you don't really deal in transference stuff, but I feel like R connected a few dots today. Maybe we can discuss some of those insights in a way that works for both of us?

And so silly that I started to instinctively look for your SUV (like you'd suggested I do) when I pulled into the parking lot today. I mean, duh, of course it won't be there, you're away, and I'm seeing your backup. (If it *was* there and you were actually in the office, working, then...we'd have other issues!)

Love,
LT

comrademoomoo · Jul 11, 2022 at 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail

I feel like I'm living in a land of deep inhales and long exhales, all in an effort to ward off unfathomable levels of anxiety.

Nothing new has happened, but these moments keep coming.

You are breathing.

WastingAsparagus · Jul 11, 2022 at 06:21 PM

Dear T. I am so grateful for our session today. I am not particularly sure why (yet). But I feel like it was a good session.

velcro003 · Jul 11, 2022 at 06:29 PM

E: Remind me that I am freaking out over nothing. Right?!

velcro003 · Jul 11, 2022 at 08:51 PM

Also: its fine that you haven't written back (yet). Yep. I'll keep telling myself that. Ugh. Anxiety.

LostOnTheTrail · Jul 12, 2022 at 04:15 AM

Feelings are many, words are few.
Waking up to a cancelled session this morning was not helpful.

LonesomeTonight · Jul 12, 2022 at 05:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail

Feelings are many, words are few.
Waking up to a cancelled session this morning was not helpful.

Oh, I'm so sorry, Lost. Will she be able to see you later this week?

Mountaindewed · Jul 12, 2022 at 07:23 AM

Why are you not answering my email?

LostOnTheTrail · Jul 12, 2022 at 09:30 AM

I have no idea. If her kids require 48hr off school after illness, then...probably not.
I might have a chance to do a Zoom session, but...who knows.

Chances are she'd have to reschedule everything in her week...

SlumberKitty · Jul 12, 2022 at 09:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail

Feelings are many, words are few.
Waking up to a cancelled session this morning was not helpful.

HUGS Lost. I feel you. I woke up to a cancelled session too.

velcro003 · Jul 12, 2022 at 12:37 PM

Yeah getting cancelled sessions at the last minute, SUCK.

Meanwhile, my anxiety keeps ramping up bc my T hasn’t responded to my email I wrote sunday night. It was a response to her email, and now I feel like I’ve burdened her too much. Plus the content of the email is my very real fear of her having The Talk with me about boundaries and such.

SlumberKitty · Jul 12, 2022 at 12:44 PM

HUGS velcro003 I hope your T responds to your email soon and that it is positive and reassuring!

velcro003 · Jul 12, 2022 at 12:54 PM

Thanks Kit. I hate anxiety!

Mountaindewed · Jul 12, 2022 at 01:50 PM

You got back to me today and asked if I wanted to reschedule for tommorow and I said yeah I was open anytime. So you said how about 10:30? Which is the time I thought we orginally agreed on meeting in the first place until this Tuesday time came up out of nowhere. Now I don't know if its me or if you're just ****ing with me now.

AliceKate · Jul 12, 2022 at 03:12 PM

This Kid at work:

Makes me feel like this:

Waterbear · Jul 12, 2022 at 04:50 PM

I am sorry I struggled so much today. I'm not sure whether it was the bell thing or not, but I was certainly thrown by it so can only imagine it played into it. Thank you for offering to run over, to try and make up some lost ground. I am grateful for that. Something happened today, for the first time ever. I felt this overwhelming pull to look at you. To turn right round and look you in the eye. Once when I was seriously struggling. When I was feeling like a prisoner in my own mind, desperately searching for a way out but unable to find one, and then once at the end, when you said that you would go there with me, if I wanted to go there. But then you started tearing up, I heard the sniffle and you said you felt teary, and no way I am looking at you then! Let's be honest, I wouldn't have done it anyway, but I did turn my head a fraction and I did look at your leg, which is a massive first for me! Maybe we are making progress, after all!

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Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLIV

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LonesomeTonight Always in This Twilight Member Since Feb 2015 Location: US Posts: 20,763 (SuperPoster!) 9 75k hugs given	Jul 11, 2022 at 10:53 AM #621 Dear T, I miss you. I imagine walking by your office to see R today might intensify that. I do hope you're having fun and relaxing though. I wonder if you're at the beach? Love, LT

LonesomeTonight Always in This Twilight Member Since Feb 2015 Location: US Posts: 20,763 (SuperPoster!) 9 75k hugs given	Jul 11, 2022 at 04:06 PM #623 Dear R, That was a very insightful session! Glad we'll be talking Wednesday, too, as it felt very "to be continued." I'm wondering if Dr. T would be willing to actually talk about some of that? Maybe if I said it came up with you, he'd be more willing to address it? Perhaps that's something we can talk about Wednesday. --LT

WastingAsparagus Student of Life Member Since Mar 2014 Location: South America Posts: 4,658 10 2,911 hugs given	Jul 11, 2022 at 06:21 PM #627 Dear T. I am so grateful for our session today. I am not particularly sure why (yet). But I feel like it was a good session. __________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!”

velcro003 Elder Member Since Oct 2008 Posts: 7,361 15 25 hugs given	Jul 11, 2022 at 06:29 PM #628 E: Remind me that I am freaking out over nothing. Right?!

velcro003 Elder Member Since Oct 2008 Posts: 7,361 15 25 hugs given	Jul 11, 2022 at 08:51 PM #629 Also: its fine that you haven't written back (yet). Yep. I'll keep telling myself that. Ugh. Anxiety.

Mountaindewed Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Where the sidewalk ends Posts: 36,217 (SuperPoster!) 7 8,776 hugs given	Jul 12, 2022 at 07:23 AM #632 Why are you not answering my email? __________________ Ridin' with Biden

velcro003 Elder Member Since Oct 2008 Posts: 7,361 15 25 hugs given	Jul 12, 2022 at 12:37 PM #635 Yeah getting cancelled sessions at the last minute, SUCK. Meanwhile, my anxiety keeps ramping up bc my T hasn’t responded to my email I wrote sunday night. It was a response to her email, and now I feel like I’ve burdened her too much. Plus the content of the email is my very real fear of her having The Talk with me about boundaries and such.

SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Jul 12, 2022 at 12:44 PM #636 HUGS velcro003 I hope your T responds to your email soon and that it is positive and reassuring! __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA

velcro003 Elder Member Since Oct 2008 Posts: 7,361 15 25 hugs given	Jul 12, 2022 at 12:54 PM #637 Thanks Kit. I hate anxiety!

AliceKate Grand Member Member Since Jan 2021 Location: On a raindrop far, far away Posts: 871 3 2,208 hugs given	Jul 12, 2022 at 03:12 PM #639 This Kid at work: Makes me feel like this: __________________ my life explained in two smileys