[pixiedust72]

I’m afraid I’m getting dropped because I said it was too overwhelming for me to do both therapy and my full time job. When I started therapy I was unemployed. Now I’m saying that I’m overwhelmed with how therapy has me feeling my emotions so much that it’s hard to function for the next 24-48 hours.

My therapist’s response was that this is just how therapy is and if I can’t do this and manage my job maybe I need to take a break so I can earn a living. But then she said we should take some time to see how we both feel before moving forward. Why would we need to see how we both feel? It just sounded like she was saying she might not want to see me any more. She mentioned how I had been seeing her for over a year and if I’m not getting the results I want, I should find a new therapist. Which is a process I really don’t want to go through again.

It’s crazy because this is the second time we’ve had a conversation like this where I mention my struggles with therapy and she gets defensive and brings up that I should quit or take a break when that’s not what I want. I just wanted to talk about how hard it is for me sometimes and I think taking a break is not the solution to making it easier for me.

This is now making me wonder if it is time to see a new T who I can be open about my therapy struggles with who won’t get defensive about them. I’m just really upset at my T and I know I can never mention it. I’m not ready to say goodbye forever to her though.

[Favorite Jeans]

I feel like part of good therapy, part of the secure attachment, is being able to complain to the therapist about the aspects of therapy that are incredibly difficult.

I mean… therapy is SO difficult. It’s only fair that you get to say how it affects you.

[Waterbear]

I'm sorry that was the response you got. To be fair, how she feels about it hasn't really got any bearing on it in my opinion, but I did have a debate with someone recently who said she has never seen a client longer than six months and didn't believe in long term therapy. Do you know if your T does do long term therapy, or is she in it for the quick fix?

All that said, I did have similar with my Ex T on a few occasions actually. When I would say something and her automatic reply was 'maybe we should take a break'. It hurts. If a break isn't what you want, or are thinking of, it can really feel like they are the ones wanting to finish things.

All I can really do is sympathise and advise you to have the conversation with her. I know you say you can't, but I think it's the only way to really understand what's going on for her, and between you. Some of the most productive work can start with the whole "this is so hard. This is so painful. This is really affecting my life in a lot of ways" thing, so I'm surprised she gave you the response she did (but also not surprised because I had the same!) Maybe it's just their weird way of making sure a break ISN'T what you want, if that makes sense. Like they could think you want a break but don't know how to suggest it, so they suggest it and see what your response is.... Just a thought. I hope you can make sense of it with her.

[pixiedust72]

Originally Posted by Waterbear

I'm sorry that was the response you got. To be fair, how she feels about it hasn't really got any bearing on it in my opinion, but I did have a debate with someone recently who said she has never seen a client longer than six months and didn't believe in long term therapy. Do you know if your T does do long term therapy, or is she in it for the quick fix?

All that said, I did have similar with my Ex T on a few occasions actually. When I would say something and her automatic reply was 'maybe we should take a break'. It hurts. If a break isn't what you want, or are thinking of, it can really feel like they are the ones wanting to finish things.

All I can really do is sympathise and advise you to have the conversation with her. I know you say you can't, but I think it's the only way to really understand what's going on for her, and between you. Some of the most productive work can start with the whole "this is so hard. This is so painful. This is really affecting my life in a lot of ways" thing, so I'm surprised she gave you the response she did (but also not surprised because I had the same!) Maybe it's just their weird way of making sure a break ISN'T what you want, if that makes sense. Like they could think you want a break but don't know how to suggest it, so they suggest it and see what your response is.... Just a thought. I hope you can make sense of it with her.

It’s like we have the same T. I would be interested in having that conversation with her but I feel like it wouldn’t go any better than this one did. I’ll have to think about it.