Couch 239: Cape Coral Couch

Why stop at a lock? How about some Swiss Guards, halberds crossed before the door?

That’s not just a boundary. It’s a statement, baby.

(Also what I do to keep una away after she’s been eating cabbage. )

Thanks WFS. I'm gonna paint rainbows and flowers for myself on the inside of said door too.


That made me laugh! I needed that, thanks.

oh! It's time to go watch Emergency! and then fall asleep sometime during the 2nd hour like I do almost every night.

I agree! I wish there was a way for me to put a door on the main room where I do my work. My H just comes down and starts talking before he can even see me, let alone see if I'm busy. Or he'll come down the stairs and make some exclamation, like, "Oh, what a day," and it's like then I feel obligated to ask him, "What's up?" And he'll go on some lengthy, detailed thing about his work. Sometimes I'll say, "I'm sorry, I have to focus on getting this done right now, you can fill me in later," and he'll seem offended. But I have deadlines, too!

Family members seem to think I can see through walls.

A couple of times a month, I'll hear 'What's this?' from another room, and then have to go and check it out.

Nobody parties like the swiss guards!

Well I'm going back to the dentist sooner than I had anticipated, the tooth I got the filling in last friday started bothering me big time this morning. I don't know if I did something that caused the filling to fall out, i can't tell cuz they're not silver anymore, i never could see it in the first place so I don't know if it's still in there. or if i just aggravated the gums around it, or what. so i just called and they're getting me in right after i get off work today. Boo, I hope it's just that i aggravated the gums somehow and not that the filling fell out! whatever it hurts and tylenol is not helping at all. Double boo!

Ugh, I hope it's just something with the gum, Artie!

Thanks, LT.

H left for a long-distance job to Albuquerque, NM last night at like 9pm. It's something around a 7 hour drive from here, one way. He's on his way home again texted just now saying he's still like 3 hours away and stopped for breakfast, and is too tired to drive more so is going to rest in his car for a bit. I hope he's able to sleep for a couple of hours so he can safely make it the rest of the way home. I told him last night before he left if I were anyone but me, I'd have gone with him and called out sick today and made a weekend of it up there, but calling in sick when I'm not is against my religion or something so I didn't go. Glad I didn't now, with my tooth hurting today.

It just popped into my head something else C said the other day - another of the deja vu moments back to L - we were talking about thought distortions like "i'm broken" and "I'm not enough" and she said those come from the ego, that fights against our true Self. I remember when L would say things like "Oh, that's just ego" and she'd talk about 'ego death' and stuff and I never really understood it then, still not sure I really understand now, but seems to me at the moment that there are two very, very different definitions of "ego". There's like egotistical, but then there's also healthy ego, but then I get the feeling that what C and L were talking about has nothing to do with that kind of ego. I'm still confused about it....

I used to do this to my 2nd h until he brought it to my attention.

I think its "hereditary" - my mom did it to me, so i learned it as a communication method. But i DO it as the caller, not the callee. The lesson taught was being inconsiderate.

I hate when they use the technical term!

I thought there was id, ego, and superego. Where tf does true self fit in?

I like the insertion of true self here vs weakness/distortion, but what part of me is it? I remember telling my t, "i cant take of myself." Thats my true self hiding from my negative (mother) interject.

This is why i dont play Wordle. Therapy IS Wordle!

Careful, careful, sweetie. Liking the true Self over id/ego/superego puts you on the path to Jungianism...and you would have to stop your Freudian chatter about bodily functions. I don't think stopdog would ever recover.

The horror - exhankster interpreting dreams about bodily functions.

Or reading bodily functions into dreams.

Reducing all archetypes to No. 1 and No. 2 and a bit of slap and tickle.

It will never do.

have you just invented a new branch of psychology?

More like summarized the entirety of existing psychology. Heh.

Speaking of schools of thought -

Did you see the new yorker cartoon caption contest? The t is holding up a rohrschak test to his patient - a human size bottle of ink.

My t was into rhorschak because his older brother did research on it. I basically was seeing Niles Crane.

Randomly really miss my T today. I don't know if it is because we mainly did 2x a week therapy this Summer and I told her I was good for 1x a week right now. (That I would tell her if I got into crisis.) So I texted her and told her all of this. I told her I am okay. That I'm not sure why I am missing her right now but I suspect it is because we don't have a session this weekend. But I'm okay. Also, as I have met my out of pocket maximum, I do not have to pay her copays for the rest of the year! Yeah!

My 10-year-old laptop finally bit the big one. I bought a new one today, getting it set up now. They've certainly come down in price since I bought the old one I was happy to see that! Between working overtime as much as we do, and not paying L for the past 9 months, I was able to buy it from my Hawaii fund. But, that's okay, I'll get it built back up and get there one of these days. I'm kinda bummed that I couldn't get one with as big of a screen as my old one - but, I can just zoom the browser into 110% which works too. When the old one started acting up I bought an external hard drive and backed everything up so now I can pick and choose what i want to put on the new one, and what I'll just leave on the external drive. H just left on a job to a little town near the CA border so he won't be back til late tonight, I'm going grocery shopping now, then might pick up taco bell for dinner. Mmmm.

Hugs and headnods all around as appropriate!

H had a brief period today where he was in that place again where I just don't know how to deal with him... so I tried what C suggested on Tuesday afternoon, that I just ask him what he needs from me. He said there's nothing you can do. But, he opened up about how basically he's been facing his mortality lately in a more concrete way than he ever has before. Which led to me understanding a lot more why he's acting like he is. We talked about it a little and I think it was helpful for him to get it out, because after that he seemed to be feeling better about life in general and then when work called offering him the delivery he's out on now, he was back to happy, he loves driving and listening to music on these long distance ones.

I'm trying to wait up for H, he should be home in an hour or so....

I'm so depressed, heartbroken, and full of grief.
Trigger warning for infertility:

I'm in so much pain.

L and I were talking about my infertility today, and I said things I've never said before. I'm really struggling.

Oh Scarlet my heart hurts for you. I'm so very sorry.

Hugs to you, Scarlet. I'm sorry you're struggling so much. I hope L was supportive. Sometimes, it can help to get things out that you're thinking, even if it's something you never thought you would say.

That sounds like a good discussion with your H and that the approach you used from C worked.

Also, RIP to your laptop--10 years is an amazing run for one of those! I'm assuming you use a different one (or a desktop) for your job? Because I use mine for my freelance work, I can at least deduct a portion of the cost from our taxes.