Couch 240: The Vanadis Couch

atisketatasket · Oct 31, 2022, 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

the horror.

Wow, you did not delete the emoji in the quoted text, as your ilk are wont to do.

stopdog · Oct 31, 2022, 10:08 PM

A sad oversight -but I will pretend like I did it so that exhankster did not think I was referring to anything but the blinky thing

LonesomeTonight · Nov 01, 2022, 07:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

P is out of town doing VA exams again this week so we did a video session last night. I'd finally got it together enough to start on the letter to the judge from my restraining order hearing and I had sent it to him. Part of what I wrote detailed some of the events that led to me getting the order in the first place. I guess I feel like the judge needs to know what happened in order to understand why denying it was, in my opinion, the wrong decision. P resoponded saying that I shouldn't detail my trauma in this letter and I had a few feelings about that. Later, he emailed me a rough draft of his letter that he offered to write. I thought it was a good letter.

During our video session, we talked about why he thinks I shouldn't detail my trauma in this letter. I 100% believe that he is coming from a protective place and I don't think he thinks this about me but some things he said felt incredibly hurtful. He said I wouldn't be taken as seriously if I included details in the letter. Some phrases he used were I might be viewed as "off my rocker", "attention seeking" and "playing a victim". These are some things that I already fear. I know he's trying to protect me, but is this really what people think when you talk about your trauma? He says I don't need these people to validate what I went through, but I often feel like I do need that. I feel like people won't take me seriously without details. He's probably right about all this, but what am I supposed to do with my feelings and need to be validated that all suddenly feel a thousand times more shameful? I feel defective after we talked last night. I had to ask him to reassure me that he doesn't think less of me and I'm trying to believe him that he doesn't. I just feel ashamed for ever talking about my trauma to non-therapist people about my trauma, even here.

Hugs, NP, I'm sorry P was so invalidating. And that you're now feeling so much shame, including about talking on here. I know I certainly don't think any less of you for what you've described--I feel compassion and empathy, not judgment.

So to me, it does seem like you should detail the trauma. But Stopdog has experience in the court system and says otherwise, and perhaps P is familiar with it as well? Which is part of why he's giving that advice? So I wouldn't go by what I would say. Could you talk to the victims' advocate about it? Assuming they have experience in the court system as well.

I know this will be difficult. But I think with P, you need to try to separate the advice he's giving you about the letter and how the judge might see it from how *he* (P) sees you. That he doesn't think you're playing a victim, for example, but is concerned that the judge could see it that way. There's a big difference between knowing and working with someone for years (P) and just seeing what's written in a letter. With the letter, you aren't seeing the whole person and the full scope of their experiences. I hope you can talk to him soon and that he'll give you more reassurance about that.

ArtieTheSequal · Nov 01, 2022, 10:20 AM

Hugs, NP.

LolaCabanna · Nov 01, 2022, 10:24 AM

Greetings and Happy Holiday season you crazy kids!

ArtieTheSequal · Nov 01, 2022, 10:24 AM

I finally got to talk to my son yesterday evening, he called on his break at work (he works swing shift). He's doing well, he really likes working this shift and being able to sleep late, he never was a morning person haha. It was so good to hear his voice! He said they go to the coast pretty much every weekend (they live less than a 2 hr drive from the ocean!) so it's an easy day trip for them. I was like yeah, if it was me, I would too!

unaluna · Nov 01, 2022, 11:45 AM

Hi, Lola! Happy Holloweenie!

ArtieTheSequal · Nov 01, 2022, 12:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LolaCabanna

Greetings and Happy Holiday season you crazy kids!

Hi Lola!!

Nov 01, 2022, 01:38 PM

I'm expecting we'll have fireworks again tonight, hope they don't go on until after midnight tonight

unaluna · 04:28 PM

Nov 8 lunar eclipse in the usa
Nov 9 uranus will be visible

Just got notice that my ozempic came in, yay!

ETA - UGH, Good thing i didnt go get it. I now have a 100.1 degree fever and some kind of weird diarrhea. Wouldnt want THAT on the road! Could be shots side effects, could be ate different stuff yesterday.

ArtieTheSequal · Nov 01, 2022, 05:09 PM

Hope you feel better soon una!

LonesomeTonight · Nov 01, 2022, 05:40 PM

Also hope you feel better soon, Una!

unaluna · Nov 01, 2022, 05:55 PM

I love immodium!

ArtieTheSequal · 08:57 PM

Just put on my first batch of applesauce in my instant pot. Looking forward to seeing how it turns out.

ScarletPimpernel · Nov 01, 2022, 08:55 PM

Well, I'm searching for another pdoc. I can't stand mine. I ask for a specific dose and amount of one med, and she can't even do that right. I'm just done with it. Time to move on. I put in an email to a new place. They're a group of doctors, all telehealth. I hope someone there will be a fit.

ArtieTheSequal · Nov 01, 2022, 09:02 PM

Hugs, Scarlet. I'm sorry. I hope you are able to find someone that will be a good fit for you.

ArtieTheSequal · Nov 01, 2022, 09:48 PM

Applesauce verdict: yum. Will make again. Although, after I purchase a potato masher, so it's not quite this chunky! haha. Mine seems to have disappeared at some point. Simple, too: just apples, water, cinnamon, & lemon juice. How I never made this before I do not know.

unaluna · Nov 01, 2022, 10:02 PM

Probably to your son's kitchen!

ScarletPimpernel · Nov 01, 2022, 10:05 PM

Artie - That looks yummy!

LostOnTheTrail · Nov 02, 2022, 03:11 AM

Haha...bet you're spot on, una.

'Artie's Potato Masher Goes On Vacation', coming 2023 from Couch Publications.

ArtieTheSequal · Nov 02, 2022, 10:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Probably to your son's kitchen!

Likely! haha!

ArtieTheSequal · Nov 02, 2022, 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail

Haha...bet you're spot on, una.

'Artie's Potato Masher Goes On Vacation', coming 2023 from Couch Publications.

i love it!

ScarletPimpernel · Nov 02, 2022, 11:17 AM

Omg! The new pdoc place I inquired about wants a $500 hold incase I no show! That's insane.

LostOnTheTrail · Nov 02, 2022, 11:49 AM

That's absolute madness, Scarlet.

Given the fees that they charge, you're hardly going to skip an appointment...
Do you have other contenders?

ScarletPimpernel · Nov 02, 2022, 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail

That's absolute madness, Scarlet.

Given the fees that they charge, you're hardly going to skip an appointment...
Do you have other contenders?

Yes, but only one other group.

I told the first group that I don't have $500. They said they'll talk to the insurance department and see what they can do. I'll fill out their paperwork and see what they can do. They really look to be the best. And they do accept my insurance.

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