Couch 240: The Vanadis Couch

I'm so glad to hear you haven't needed the pain meds for 3 days and hope you do get to see L in person!

We found out yesterday that H qualifies for the NAFLD (non alcoholic fatty liver disease) study; that means he's either a stage 2 (NASH) or 3 (Fibrosis). I'm praying he's stage 2 and not 3, needless to say. His first study appointment is Tuesday morning, thankfully I'm already off work (I had already taken Tuesday and Wednesday off to have a 5-day weekend over thanksgiving, gotta use up my purchased PTO before the end of the year). Beyond hoping he's only stage 2, of course I'm also hoping he's among the 2 out of 3 participants that get the drug they're trialing. I forgot the name of it, but it's not technically new, it's being used for diabetes already, they're trialing it for treating NAFLD.

Artie! Boy if he is getting what i am on (there is a study for it for nafld), he will know! Hope he gets it. It is great stuff, so far.

Thanks una. I cannot for the life of me remember the name of the medication. I'm gonna go try to find the paperwork from the initial meeting, I think it might be in there.

eta: it is. The drug is Cotadutide. I just googled it and it's actually in trial for diabetes too, I could have sworn they told us it was already in USE for diabetes. Huh. More questions to ask on Tuesday.

h's liver dr just called (I guess he didn't realize they'd already texted h yesterday to tell him he qualified) and told us that he has stage 2 NASH aggressive form and he double-confirmed that H will be there on Tuesday. I really like this doctor, he gave us his personal cell number so we can text anytime with questions or concerns once he's started the trial medication.

I hope the trial goes over well, Artie! It's scary, but at least it could be much worse.... the doctor sounds great tbh. I've never had a doctor telling me to just text them if issues come up, it's the small things that make it better.

I wish your H all the best btw.

The Inner Thoughts of an Average House Cat - YouTube

I said this a LOT during my 15 year t with my last t.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid!" One time i was sitting close to him on the kiddie chairs, i had my arms around his neck, and i got emotional and said this, and he morphed into Bart Simpson getting choked by Homer. It was hilarious, but i guess you had to be there!

So i was thrilled today to find this on my feed.

ETA - ARTIE - it looks similar to what im taking, ozempic.

Thank you! I appreciate that CNS. Yeah, we're thankful he's a 2 and not a 3. The scariest part is that it's the aggressive form... H is taking the news well, at least for right now. I'm doing the catch it/check it/change it thing from cbt when I catch myself wanting to start worrying/catastrophizing and telling myself the positives (he's made some small changes to his diet already, which means he has some willingness to do so, etc) and focusing on a positive outcome. I have the cbt app from the program I did that I can still use and am grateful for that as well.

this is hilarious! "He does do Tuna Tuesdays" Sometimes when Penelope is sitting on the floor staring up at me she is probably thinking things like this!! haha

yeah the long names do sound similar, semaglutide and cotadutide, I'm gonna ask him about that too.

Sounds like you're doing all the right things for yourself!

All he can do is some diet changes and all that, so if he's doing that already, that's great, the rest is just stupid genetics and life - in my opinion.

I also hope it goes well, Artie! I imagine he's also getting frequent scans (MRIs or whatever they do for liver) as part of the trial, so then you'll know how he's doing.I understand that it's scary though!

I offended Dr. T by something I said today, like a thought I had related to an insurance mixup (it's complicated, but my insurance company messed something up and is reimbursing us more than they should be--we are in contact with them). He's out of network, so I pay him his full fee directly, then I get partial reimbursement from insurance.

Something he said about it last session made me think a particular thing that I probably shouldn't even say here. I wasn't going to tell him, but it was stuck in my head, and we were talking about the topic. So I just said it. And he said. "That's very offensive." I started sobbing and said, "I'm really sorry...Do you want me to leave? I can leave." He said no, I didn't need to leave.

We discussed the topic a bit more, and then he said something that really offended *me*. But I didn't say much about it. The rest of session was OK, mostly about other topics. I did start to reference the offensive comment, and he said, "It's OK, we don't have to revisit that." So I'd like to think he's moved past it. It's kind of gnawing at me though. And of course, OF COURSE this happened on a Friday.

Part of me feels bad for offending him. But then another part of me feels like he let his own stuff get in the way. Yes, I know he's entitled to his feelings. But I also think there could have been value in discussing, "What would make you think that of me? What's going on here?" Like curiosity mixed in with the offense.

I know I'm being really vague. If someone wants the actual details, feel free to PM. I just don't want to set myself up.

LT, it sounds like Dr. T is letting his own stuff get in the way. I think he does that sometimes. I'm sorry this happened on a Friday but you two have a 100% background of working things out.

I feel too depressed to go to a team lunch today. Should probably go, but just don't want to go and fake it.

I didn't see F in the end. It didn't feel right for me.

Did make an appointment and see an acupuncturist instead though. (My second appointment).

Hoping I can work up to a smear test eventually. Had to remove my trousers. She was lovely. No comments about any of my scars.

-Shame about my teeth - appointment done in october.
-Shame about applying for benefits for 6 months -done but only because of F.
-Hair appointment - it was free as I offered to be a hair model and replied to the stylist's instagram story.

Don't force it and stay at home if you need to.

I did send you a PM. Always willing to listen,

Thanks, Polibeth. Yes, he does let his own stuff get in the way at times. He had seemed better with that lately (like past couple years). But then was I just not really challenging him?

You're right that we've managed to work everything out before (even when I left briefly). I do feel there's healing in that in a way, that I can have conflicts, but it's ultimately OK. I missed that lesson growing up, and even a good ways into adulthood (conflict avoidance only goes so far). So I'm sure we'll work through this. It can just be exhausting, and I'm under a lot of stress from other stuff right now (which he knows), like my H recovering from surgery, so I have to do most everything in the household and related to D (like driving).

How are you doing?

Thanks, Lemon! Will read and reply a bit later.

And sounds like you're making great progress in dealing with things that cause you shame!

Art - I hope the trial helps your husband.
The primary and the oncologist mds for my person gave us their cell phones.
I just kept reminding myself that it was her body and her life and she got to choose how she dealt with it. For example -she would go through all sorts of horrible chemo/radiation -but she adamantly refused a mastectomy. I remember that particular md looking at me and saying can't you talk her into it - and I was horrified the md would think I would interfere with her choices about her body. Sure we talked about it -but I was there to support her -not choose for her.