Couch 240: The Vanadis Couch

Haha...have a good day, Artie!

That sounds really difficult LT and not a nice way for him to drop the issue into the conversation.

I can relate to the "Look at this huge favor I'm doing for you" thing, as I've had a recent issue with my own Ts wording of her reply regarding payments.

I told her that things might get difficult in the near future and I didn't want to just get into the difficult stuff and then find I couldn't continue seeing her. She said she would never just abandon me, then went on to say she had some flexibility with regard to how much she charged clients and would be able offer me a slightly lower rate..... trouble is she then went and spoilt it by saying "I don't want to, but I could", which made it feel as though it was being offered grudgingly.

Like you, I would then feel both financially and emotionally indebted in a way that would be incredibly unfomfortable. If there were any other issues which I might feel I had to bring up with her (as I have in the past about interruptions to sessions etc), it would feel even more difficult to do so because I'd feel as though she was doing me a huge favour by reducing her fee.

I do hope you can work this out with T satisfactorily, or decide that you have gone as far as you can with him and look for someone else who might better fit your needs now.

LT, I'm late as always, European time zone problems. Anyways.

Various things strike me about the developments, I'll just jug them down here since there's no thread.

1) The thing about him not having been in therapy really. I don't know whether my T has been to therapy (other than the required stuff), but he has told me about various things he's worked through himself. They are very different from my own struggles, and I have no idea whether he needed therapy. But it's easy to explain something like "I have experience in working on myself" in whatever form... I have always though it's kind of weird how Dr. T apparently can't really tell the intentions of some of your questions and the relational stuff.

2) I think it's kind of weird of him to say you struggle with the limitations of the relationship at the same time as behaving as he does tbh. Clear boundaries would mean "emails that take x mins plus of my time get billed by X amount, others by Y, session time by T, phone by P, virtual by V... and when he agrees to it, that's on him, and that's the rate. And if that's just suddenly not okay, then how are you supposed to know the boundaries and limitations? It's ridiculous. For comparison, my T worries about overstepping my boundaries if he texts me we can have a 10 minute phone call after saying he's too sick to come into work the next day...

I agree he kind of just doesn't know how to help and apparently seems to have little drive in learning, at least I'd have learned by now if you were my client... but maybe I'm biased.

I'll reply more later. But I feel I'm taking over the couch, so new thread here.

You're not hijacking artie. I think it's great that you too can gain something from LT's posts. You wouldn't go to a gardener when you needed a plumber.

"He's not meeting all my needs--there is still a lot in me that needs to be filled that I don't think he's capable of filling."

I don't think this is the point of therapy and I don't think this is the point of any adult relationship of any sort. If this is what you are looking for from another person of any ilk - I think it will not ever work.

oh i hope it wasn't my apologizing for hijacking the discussion by mentioning my L stuff that made you feel that way. i'm sorry in advance if it was. i just find this discussion really interesting and it's making me think.

that oops emoji guy looks like he's doing the pee dance haha

Yes, I detest the consistency of Greek yogurt. I must add a generous splash of milk to mine and then stir it up.

Sent from my SM-S908U using Tapatalk

I swear to you as someone who has eaten plain Fage bought here and bought in Greece, it’s sweeter here, even plain.

It has to do with the stuff in Greece being made from goat’s milk, not cow’s milk as here.

I bet sheeps milk yogurt is heavenly, just like the french feta. Maybe because my italian genes were honed on sheeps milk cheese. Pecorino Romano.

That reminds me, have I told you guys I’m going to Rome for the holidays?

Couldn’t stand the thought of the holidays in the US without my mother, and I’ve had only one very brief visit to Rome, so off I go in a few weeks.

@@ im so happy for you!

I prefer skyr yogurt, which is Icelandic, to Greek, but both are good. If your local store has Siggi's brand, give them a try.

Is Skyr the Same Thing As Greek Yogurt, or Are They Totally Different?

The teeny tiny yogurts put me off! Not fun size!

Glad you are going to do something fun ATAT. I have made goat's milk yogurt and I like it when I can get fresh goat's milk. I used to get it a lot when I took my dogs sheep herding. I also use raw milk when I can get it which makes it good too. But I am sure there are all sorts of factors about which type and what they are fed etc in terms of how it tastes. Mine can taste sweeter or more sour from batch to batch and I have no idea why.

I don't recall seeing that brand when I was looking at them yesterday, but there's another grocery store we sometimes go to also that may have it, I'm off work Tuesday-Saturday woohoo so will have time to do some more shopping!

I made H 'breakfast ice cream' this morning - by blending a container of Fage with some frozen strawberries. He liked it, so that's good!

Rome sounds lovely! I hope you have a relaxing time.

Hope you a lovely time in Rome.

Just tried to book a dermatology appointment for a thing that my primary card doctor wanted me to get screened for skin cancer and the earliest appointment was the middle of June. Wow!

June is miles away. Can you get screened in another area or state?

Yeah maybe get a dr on demand to look at it over the phone / email pictures, and maybe they can find you a derm faster. Months can matter in these cases.

I'm glad you're doing something fun for the holidays, @@. I got the chance to go to Rome and other places in Italy back in the summer 2005, my only trip overseas. My brother had been stationed at the NATO base in Naples at the time. We spent a week basically running sunup to sundown trying to see everything we could! We hiked up Vesuvius, toured the ruins of Pompeii, walked through a big area of street venders in Naples, went to the Colosseum in Rome, toured St Peters Basilica, saw the leaning tower of Pisa, spent some time in Assisi and Florence, and even drove up into Switzerland. I think my favorite part of the trip was the time we spent in Assisi, it was so beautiful and peaceful there. Our hotel had only shutters on the windows, no glass, so we opened them wide the night we spent there and watched a glorious thunderstorm.

Now I want to get out my photo album from that trip and relive the memories!