Couch 243: Winchester Cathedral

If you're into the NYT Spelling Bee, which I know some of you were at one point, they've introduced a new helper tool that's in beta right now.

Introducing Spelling Bee Buddy: Your Personalized Daily Bee Helper - The New York Times

I am glad you don't think it is related to being shut down-because it is hard to get out. At least for me, it is. I would LOVE to visit the kids and say goodbye to everyone, but I am slightly scared of my boss. I have had no contact from her since I left at the beginning of March. Usually when employees leave (especially long-term employees), they throw a little goodbye party. Now, I am not expecting that, but I just wish I would be invited to come say goodbye. I don't want to just walk in and be like "Heyyyy!" when my boss is very angry with me.

No, it is in a completely different location/building. It definitely would be harder if it was in the same building--but then I most likely would at least see them. My position starts next Wednesday. So I will at least have a therapy session before I go. I doubt next week before Wed, but I will have one this Friday.

I did get the results from the MRI. I viewed it, and while I understood very little, I got the impression that they found some swelling in both feet, a tear in my right one, and then they end it with "Nothing points to plantar fasciitis" AWESOME.
I see the doctor on Friday to discuss all of this.

NP, I totally get it. I also have operated in shut down most of my life as well. I have gotten slightly better, but really it was when I lost my cat of 14 years that kind of broke me open. That, and more willingness to dive deeper in my past, and not live in denial.

Velcro
Have you been evaluated for orthotics? Just a thougnt,...

Hugs, Velcro. That's weird you haven't heard anything from your boss--I assume you had a good working relationship before this? And I do understand your concerns about going back to visit, without any contact with her. I suppose you could try reaching out at some point, maybe once you do know what's going on with your feet?

That sucks about the MRI. A tear doesn't sound good. Sounds like they were wrong about the plantar fasciitis then? I hope the doctor can give you some answers on Friday so that you can stop being in pain.

I have not. Maybe that is something he will suggest? I don’t know.
Yeah, we had a good relationship until my feet pain started disrupting my work schedule. I totally understand. We are so understaffed, and I have a feeling it was probably a nightmare to try and staff. But to get kicked out of my job like this hurts. A lot.

I guess the tear is on the outside of my right foot, where I have no pain. Unless my doctor (GP) read the MRI wrong. I will find out more on Friday.

Ugghhh.

One of my favorite bands, The National, just released a new song from their upcoming album. It's really beautiful (has Phoebe Bridgers singing with him) and supposed to be about depression so thought I'd share in case anyone is interested.



ETA: Just don't send your T emails about loving them after listening to it--I'm not sure if I ever shared the band, but it was after a National concert that I sent that fateful email to ex-MC. What's kinda funny is, the first time I shared love feelings (like 4 years ago, when it went fine!) with Dr. T was when I was going to a National concert that evening.

Thanks for sharing, LT.

I feel like there's a significant overlap between some of our music tastes.
I have only recently discovered Phoebe Bridgers, but I like what I've heard so far.
I'd be interested in checking out some more music by The National.

Thanks for sharing that, LT. I listened to it and to me he sounds kinda like Julian Lennon, I like his voice. The video gets a little trippy near the end huh.

I think I'm finally learning to live with my mind, even the parts of it that are not my friend...

Woop! I might have to leave the house in October! Fran Leibowitz is coming to town!

Waiting at the eye dr's.

I'm leaving the house tomorrow for 2 whole days! Heading up to Globe again to go hiking. We're going to try to make it all the way to the top of the hill this time where the views are supposed to be fabulous. I'm hearing that the wildflowers are beautiful right now but it's starting to warm up big time, so they may not be around much longer this spring.

Well lunch break is about over, time to go re-up my tea then log back into work. Hugs/headnods all around as needed/wanted/appropriate.

I love her bit on people with huge baby buggies that take up the whole sidewalk

Glad you enjoyed it! Agreed about our musical tastes.

You'd probably like the National album I Am Easy to Find that was out a few years ago--much of it involves females singing on the tracks. "Hey Rosey" is one. And the title track. I can come up with some more specific recommendations for you if you want! They have a pretty big back catalog.

The one I played for Dr. T a few years ago is "Terrible Love" from an earlier album ("High Violet"). You might like that, too.

Glad you liked it, Artie! I'm not too familiar with Julian Lennon, so maybe I should check him out more. And yeah, trippy video!

And agreed on the living with my mind thing.

I'm going to go have a listen to some more of their stuff after work today, maybe I can get inspired for today's poem.

So the writing course I'm doing started yesterday, one of the first prompts is to write in detail about your first soulful, romantic encounter, not holding back, what made it memorable, what you were wearing, the physical environment, etc. I wrote about J, of course. I don't really consider any other romantic encounters I've had as soulful except for with her. At 60, that's a rather sad thing to say, isn't it. Then again, she was my first love so... in a way it makes sense. When I was with the alcoholic ex, there was never anything romantic about it, even though we lived together for 5 years, at least not what i consider romantic. I suppose I try to find 'romance' with H wherever I can - like, when he actually notices when I'm tired and does one of the chores I usually do for me (like cleaning the litter boxes) without being asked - I've learned to see the romance in stuff like that. But soulful? Nah.

That's a pretty intense first prompt! Mine was just about "firsts" in general, so I could pick whatever. How did it feel writing about it?

I understand about things not feeling "soulful" now. I feel like the only really "soulful" encounters I can think of were in my teens and early 20s. But I sometimes wonder if it was that I was different then--maybe I can't feel things the same way any more? Or was it partly the novelty? Both in that I was young and didn't have as many experiences and also that I wasn't with the same person for 17 years? (Think that's how long I've been with H--maybe 18?)

It was pretty intense! I'm not posting it for feedback, just keeping this one for me. Y'know that makes sense- I was only 24 at the time, still fairly inexperienced, still very much a romantic dreamer, hadn't yet dated any men, and it was in a beautiful place (the grand canyon), so I was 1500 miles from home and feeling pretty darn free, and also biggest thing probably is that I didn't yet have any "adult" responsibilities like car payments/bills/mortgages etc. It's funny I had dated 2 other women before J (during college) but it wasn't the same soulful connection with them as with J. I remember the first time I told L about her, I showed her a poem I had written to J and she was so touched, she said "Awwww she was your first love" and I hadn't until that moment really realized that was true. Sure I'd dated before but wasn't head over heels in love with either of them. That didn't happen til J and I haven't felt that way since about the alcoholic, or the guy inbetween him and H, or about H. Maybe it is just cuz I didn't meet H until I was 35 or whatever and already jaded and world-weary.

Anyway I did enjoy writing it, even though it tweaked at my heart strings a bit!

We don't necessarily have to follow the prompts, so I'm going to write something else to share.

I think you should share it! Don't hide the powerful stuff.