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Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 71,616
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#21
Sometimes people say they will try anything but they don’t really try or give it a chance because they are too afraid of change. Even if changes would be good and positive. You’ve been in your pessimist valley for decades. You say you’re willing to try but you put her down and say things like she’s a narcissist so you have a reason not to succeed. From what you wrote she sounds like a realist and that could be good for you. Are you willing to tell her you are scared to let go of your negative beliefs? That you are too comfortable in the pit you’ve dug for yourself to truly want to change? If you start there and address those fears you could then move forward.
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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Discombobulated
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AliceKate, AnaWhitney, ArtleyWilkins, comrademoomoo
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Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2012
Location: Eastern MD
Posts: 1,481
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#22
**** you.
__________________ I know why you wanna hate me! Cause hate is all the world has seen lately! - Limp Bizkit |
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stopdog
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: Toodlepip
Posts: 1,728
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#23
Seems like Nammu touched a few home truths.
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underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 34,753
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#24
Blame the victim is often the knee jerk response by therapists and their acolytes. I believe that therapy often doesn't work because and it is not the fault of the client. Those people really oversell it. When they bother studying it - it not only does not help any number of people but it also harms a good percentage of clients. I don't have a clue how therapy was supposed to be useful. I talked -nothing. I asked what I was supposed to be doing - the woman said she didn't know. I asked how it was supposed to work-the woman said she didn't know. So finally, I just said screw it. I'm much happier not dealing with a therapist. I do enjoy suing them on behalf of people they have screwed over.
I've never understood why people go along with this idea that therapist never fail. Therapists blame the victim. Other people who think it worked for them blame the victim. Nice work if you can get it. That makes therapist not have to be responsible for anything. Don't believe them - it is not true that the client is always the problem __________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
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AnaWhitney
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: Toodlepip
Posts: 1,728
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#25
Quote:
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Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2014
Location: PNW
Posts: 1,394
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#26
Sorry if I missed this, but what does the therapist mean by "doing the work" in this case? That can mean a lot of things. It might mean worksheets and thought exercises, or identifying small steps towards improvement for yourself as others have mentioned above, or other kinds of work towards your goals.
I think it's true that improvement doesn't only happen in therapy sessions, but it's also what you do between sessions and how you reflect on and use the insight that (hopefully) you've gained through talking with the therapist. Therapy takes time but I do think that if you're dealing with a reasonably competent person and put in the effort, it can be effective. FWIW: Personally I am pretty introverted and have trouble feeling comfortable talking to strangers, but one thing that has helped me is joining activities where conversation isn't really expected. For me this was yoga classes but there could be any number of things—craft groups, volunteer work, other kinds of fitness groups. |
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Discombobulated, LonesomeTonight
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Legendary
Member Since Jan 2018
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 13,189
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#27
Yeah, it all depends on what you want from therapy cool09. I mean if the whole point, for you, of having therapy is to talk, to simply release your thoughts and feelings and be heard, then what she said doesn't make sense. That's something which crossed my mind.🙏
__________________ "A flower falls, even though we love it; and a weed grows, even though we do not love it."- Dōgen
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ArtieTheSequal
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Grand Member
Member Since Jan 2021
Location: On a raindrop far, far away
Posts: 871
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#28
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__________________ my life explained in two smileys |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 4,732
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#29
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AliceKate, LonesomeTonight
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