Couch 244: Great Expectations

well i got a huge surprise last night! when I got to baggage claim at the airport and was looking for my sister, guess who tapped me on the shoulder? MY SON! he and his girlfriend flew in also to surprise me! he'd been planning it for a month and somehow managed to keep it a secret. It took a few seconds for my brain to recognize that it was actually him and not someone else that just looked like him. He made my entire year!!

Artie, where is everybody going to sleep?!

I'm so happy for you Artie.

Join eHarmony or Bumble ?

There might be speed dating in your area?

Meetups.com for just walks or talks?

Write out a list of what you want in a partner.

Make space in your closet for when he moves in.

Awwwe! That’s great Artie! I will leave my depressing post later. 😆

Oh, that's a nice surprise! Hope you enjoy the visit.

That's so cool, Artie!

Velcro - you don't have to worry about posting your truth here.
We want to support you, and we can hold the good stuff and the hard stuff at the same time.

Oh lemon - this speed is just fine with me!

And yes, Velcro, post away. We want to support you.

Ah sorry Una O I thought you wanted more Tabasco.

not a good day today. yesterday i found out when i’m going to the inpatient place (next wed). But the director told me that it is now. a 7 day program and it’s more focused on getting you through the crisis and what to do when you leave.

i understand all of that. it makes sense. i called there earlier today for a reason i can’t remember, but the woman on the phone told me that the individual therapy will be different. since it’s a shorter period of time, it will be more focused on stabilizing you, and then see ya later! she didn’t say the last part. but that’s how i feel.

it reminds me of the place i went to in November. I hated that experience. I felt like i did not get any therapy, and there were a few other things.

now i am having doubts about going. i am already at like. 15/10 with anxiety right now with all the things i am dealing with. at least me going to this place i knew and felt familiar with would be the same. And it’s not.

I don’t know. I’m in so much pain (emotionally and physically), that it consumes me. and i need it to end somehow-but my life is really dependent on how much money i will have. I don’t have a diagnosis yet, so that’s stressful. I might have to move back to my dad’s house. i always thought i would never have to go back. And traveling with three cats for 8.5 hours terrifies me. Especially my one cat who has “potty accidents” every time. and then she was frozen at the vet. she tried to find the farther place to hiide, and sat there, terrified.i can’t do that to her for such a long time. i know there is medication options, but still, it would be rough. and i really don’t know how the other two would react either.

and i wouldn’t have the same support back home. there is family, yes, but we don’t do emotions. And the fact that I am losing my long-term therapist soon is breaking me. i am terrified my other therapist who i really like as well, doesn’t terminate too. Both of them are letting me go for free right now. But that isn’t sustainable.

I had to go to IKEA today. Needed a bookcase—my flat had built-in bookcases, so I’m a bit low on space for books.

It was horrible, of course, as the IKEA shopping experience usually is. Too many people, too many carts, too much forcing you to walk through endless stuff, even with shortcuts..

First world problems, naturally.

i am etting to spend soe reallytood time with myson while we'reboth ihere and ihave soe muc i want to atalk aboutwith L i think i needocall her tomorowand adksofr a 30 min phoneesssion it has been quite aday/evening here

yeah i got some reaolly good honest conversation in witih my sisterna d withmy son both and oh hyeah mys ister'sboyriend too have been so much my real true self with them whil e i've een here except for i couldnt do it sober! i trie dot earlier told my sisgter some stuff but then we had these margaritas with dinner and after that and some other stuff a lot of it cam etumbiling out. only one big huge secret remains that i have not yet told tehmand prolly won't yet. L will be proud of me anwyay thi is the most real i have ever been with anyone in my family. yeah iseeelalllmy typos but i'm not gonna try to correct them thename of thegame tonight is artiebeing ****ign the real artie and tough ***ski lol

the real artie mistakesandall

i have never been to an IKEA

is anybody here tba i'm kinda messed up rn

nvermind

Hey, Artie.

Hope you're OK. I'm around if you need.

Hugs, Artie. Hope you were able to get some sleep and are doing OK today, Artie (well, you're in a different time zone, so probably still asleep!) I think it's fine to ask L for a 30-minute phone call--you deserve support. And post here all you want. Feel free to PM me, too!

... And drink plenty of electrolytes when you wake up!

I'm feeling bowled over by deep gratitude for R today.
She's on leave next week, but contacted me this morning to bring our next session forward by a day.

It just so happens that the day she wanted to move it to is the second anniversary of Steve's death.



She has a boundary about not keeping up an ongoing conversation with clients between sessions, but I had to share that...and I think she understands what that means to me.

'Oh wow. As you are aware, I believe that certain things happen for a reason. I'm glad that my small headache happened now.'

Hugs to all of you who want or need them, I hope you guys are hanging in there!

I'm currently not doing so great, kind of trying to move out from the place I share with my partner because of DV. It sucks because I own part of the property and it would really all be great and nice, my life would be almost perfect if it wasn't for his behavior which is probably due to untreated Aspergers... but he doesn't want to work on it and I'm getting to the point where I'll have to move out. I'm not online a lot because I just feel too down, but I try to keep up with what's going on here and think of you guys!

In 12 days my therapist is leaving for a 3 week trip to Europe. I'm feeling anxious about it. We are going to have contact during that time. He offered, I didn't ask or expect it. I wish I could be like "just go and forget about me", but I honestly need some sort of contact.

Wow, NP.

That's a long time.
I'm glad that P offered contact, and also that you can recognise what you need.
I also hope that you can find ways to distract during this time.

I hope it passes quickly for you.

Hugs if wanted, CNS. It's good you're advocating for yourself. If someone refuses to work on things, then that's on them.