Couch 245: STELLA!

It sounds like the trip would do you good. Don't forget to look up nice places to eat too!

I'll stop boring you all after this post but fin has raised his prices to £200+ an hour.

I don't have closure. I fantasize about booking the first appointment he has online which would be in September on the first. Unless he cancels my booking.

Anyone want to talk me out of his. He didn't reply to my Whatsapp message.

It's already been 25 days since our last session.

I paid :
£125 when his prices were £150.
Then he did see me at a discount at £105. When he raised his prices to £180.

I don't know what other therapists charge, and I'm sure it varies depending on where they're situated...but £200 is an eye-watering amount of money.

I'd only consider paying that for something with tangible benefit, rather than an hour of someone's time.

I've paid close to that for courses, but at least I'm getting something in terms of the learning.

Is it worth writing a letter and ripping it up?

It's not much, but it might move you closer to moving forward.

For 200 quid an hour, I would want him to walk on water and then teach me how to do the same. For context for people in the US, I am in Scotland and the average price is around £55 an hour. I pay a reduced rate of £40 for a very experienced, senior therapist. £80 would be considered expensive so £200 is ludicrous. I am assuming he is London/south based but even then no therapist has skills which warrant such a price. He has certainly shown himself to be a two-bit practitioner so his fee seems all the more ridiculous.

I didn't believe people when they told me this when my ex-therapist ended work with me, but it is possible to find closure with another therapist. I am sure it is possible outside of therapy too.

Keep posting Lemoncake. It's not boring. It's important.

Thank you both for the sanity check. I took photos of both your posts to stop myself making another bad choice.

Also a further thank you Moo for not minimising things. Reading that bit alone made me cry.

The trauma T I spoke to before said she would be back in September after her holiday.

I need to get back to the gym and training again.

If the pound-to-U.S. dollar exchange rate is still very similar, then, uh, I wouldn't recommend that any of you move to my area and look for therapy! Unless you're willing to take just whatever you can with insurance (a majority of T's around here don't take insurance, from what I can tell). Private-pay T's tend to be about that 200 rate in dollars. I get a discount, plus then my insurance reimburses 50% off for out-of-network (I'm not sure how common that is for insurance--it probably helps that my H works for a health insurance company, but NOT on the side of approving/denying claims or deciding what gets covered).

Thats a lot of cannoli.

Have you ever had British cannoli, though?

200 quid (and I'm going on comrade's example and hoping that's the correct terminology) is about 253 USD. That's a lot.

British cannoli carries a heavy import duty, ok?! He needs all the quids he can get!

I know that this forum was really useful for me in the aftermath of my previous therapy ending. People really understood. It's a big deal for him to have ended in such a careless and detached way and people here will appreciate that. I think part of the significance of the situation is not just the hurt of this experience itself, but all the previous emotional injuries which it will bring to mind (and heart) for you.

Ah, last I heard, it was more one-to-one, so I thought was more like US$200.

Those british tarts!

Im afraid there would be blackbirds baked into my cannoli!

I think I must have spent around 4.5k working with him.

He was always well dressed. He liked the Japanese designer Issey Miyake. Their trousers are £390.

I realised that I too could afford fancy designer stuff, even though it's not me- if I wasn't paying him.

We also have an excess of pigeons you could use for baking.

It may yet come to that.

I always felt that i just could not, would not admit what was so obviously true. And finally, at the end of my working days, that it was somehow preordained that i should end up with nothing. I could not stand to HAVE anything. Partly because SHE would always try to take it away from me.

My family was so weird. They were the original pushmi-pullmi. Push me away yet not let me leave. Exclude me but demand my attendance. Your dance with fin reminds me of this, and of my penultimate t, who laughed at me for literally enriching him.

Hi everybody. I caught up on the couch. HUGS to Artie and Scarlet and Lemon and Una and anyone I missed that wants one.

Therapy went well last week. My therapist said I talked a lot more than usual and I was very vulnerable with her. (These are good things I presume.) And on Monday last week I went to the Walk In Crisis Center at my T's urging. It was actually pretty good. I have been scared of going there but it was pretty nice. I waited around a while (but I would have waited a while at the ER too) and the T or Social Worker or whoever she was that I talked to was nice and empathetic. She said I could choose to stay the night there if I wanted to but by the time I saw her my crisis was kind of passing (voices being quieter and stuff) so I opted to go home with my parents. So now I have another resource.

Also my sister said if I ever need to come live with her and her new husband I am welcome to (like if/when my parents are passed away which hopefully is a long time in the future). I was kind of worried about that so it's good to have a backup plan in case I can't do it on my own!

Texted my therapist today to check on her dog. She said she is much better. yay! We talk again on Wednesday. Except for her text tomorrow confirming my appointment for Wed.

HUGS to anyone who wants Kit

I think it depends a lot on the insurance. I have Cigna which only has a $15 copay. Again, I'm sure there are different versions of Cigna as with and insurance. I live in a big city and there are a lot of therapists that take insurance. I guess it just depends what you are looking for. My main goal was to find a trauma therapist who was qualified in EMDR. I was lucky and found a great one. I see him twice a week but I could never afford to pay more than $25 a session. If I had to pay 100-200 I wouldn't even consider going. That is just too expensive for me and I have a decent paying full time job. I don't know how some of you do it.

Thanks, slumber. That was really nice of your sister to say

Hugs back, Kit. It's good to hear that therapy went well last week, that you have another resource, and what your sister said.

Meanwhile I am sitting here staring at an email I wrote to L asking for a one-off session this week. Been staring at it for an hour now and haven't yet managed to press send. I want to but I don't want to.

L says if she had to pay what she charges, she couldn't afford herself. She charges $220 for 45 mins now? With insurance, I only have to pay $45.

It took me an hour and 23 minutes since I started writing the email, but I finally sent it. I'm such a dork.

(trigger for medical stuff)

Well that was quick. I'm going Friday afternoon.