Couch 245: STELLA!

ScarletPimpernel · Oct 18, 2023 at 11:55 PM

If it would only work temporarily, IF it works, then I would sway no. Do you have an idea how bad the discomfort would be? I'm with unaluna that if you do go through with it, demand good meds.

ScarletPimpernel · Oct 19, 2023 at 12:02 AM

Tonight was a good session about feeling alone and like no one cares, like no one hears my cries of pain. We talked a lot about H and his past amd current abusiveness. I think it was the first time I've been able to actually process when

Possible trigger:

he broke my elbow.

and how no one helped me.

I'm sad, too, because tonight was supposed to be a game night and she forgot. I didn't remind her either, though.

unaluna · Oct 19, 2023 at 10:45 AM

Weird, my apartment office wrote me an email saying to pay my rent. I didnt even notice it waz for the wrong amt. And i was even early this month! They just called back and said they firgured it out. Always blame the fat girl! Or the hoarder!

LonesomeTonight · Oct 19, 2023 at 10:57 AM

Hugs, Scarlet. I'm sorry she forgot about the game night. But it sounds as though you had an important discussion. I hope you're doing OK now.

ArtieTheSequal · Oct 19, 2023 at 04:59 PM

I have been observing myself today in several interactions with h. The first one was over a stupid banana earlier today. Just now, I realized something else about myself. That while I constantly undervalue myself, I also (silently and unfairly) judge other people as overvaluing themselves (when really they are being assertive) like with him just now. Work called him with a job and he thought the pay was too low because of how far the drive is, so he asked them to bump the pay a little and they did. I said nothing, like normal, but in my head, I was thinking he should just be happy with the job because Thursday is usually a very slow day where he usually doesn't get any work.

I'm not a very nice person, am I. Ugh.

ArtieTheSequal · Oct 19, 2023 at 06:40 PM

I do like this class I'm taking on assertiveness already. What's in the first lesson let me see the above. And the instructor is already responding to everyone's posts, so far it's not a very big group there's only 8 people who have posted in the first discussion as of now. I kinda hope it stays small so she can continue responding to everyone and answering questions.

LonesomeTonight · Oct 19, 2023 at 08:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

I have been observing myself today in several interactions with h. The first one was over a stupid banana earlier today. Just now, I realized something else about myself. That while I constantly undervalue myself, I also (silently and unfairly) judge other people as overvaluing themselves (when really they are being assertive) like with him just now. Work called him with a job and he thought the pay was too low because of how far the drive is, so he asked them to bump the pay a little and they did. I said nothing, like normal, but in my head, I was thinking he should just be happy with the job because Thursday is usually a very slow day where he usually doesn't get any work.

I'm not a very nice person, am I. Ugh.

Artie, that doesn't make you a not-nice person. You were just thinking you'd have handled it differently in his position. Hugs...

ArtieTheSequal · Oct 19, 2023 at 10:10 PM

thanks LT. but well... it was the judge-iness in my thoughts that he was being greedy and stuff that makes me feel like I'm not a nice person.

Lemoncake · Oct 19, 2023 at 10:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Couch poll time! Let’s say you’re losing your hearing (which you have been all your life, it’s just suddenly accelerating). Ears can’t hear any sound below 86-88 decibels, word comprehension is 20%. Course of oral steroids did not improve things.

Doctor suggests injecting liquid steroids through the eardrum to get at any inflammation in the inner ears the oral steroids missed. This requires five visits over the course of 2-3 weeks, discomfort during the procedure, and possible temporary hearing loss.

Would you do it? I’m leaning no.

Yes- If I thought I could not live with the possible regret of not giving it a go and it played on my mind. So that I could have said that everything was tried.

No- if the possible benefits don’t outweigh the discomfort and other disadvantages.

I hope you make the right choice for you @@.

Lemoncake · Oct 20, 2023 at 08:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

thanks LT. but well... it was the judge-iness in my thoughts that he was being greedy and stuff that makes me feel like I'm not a nice person.

You’re always too harsh on yourself.

Everyone judges and would be lying if they told you otherwise.

You’re allowed to have those kind of thoughts and opinions, but there’s a difference if you actually act on them and react in unkind ways. None of which you’re doing.

Yes- If you don’t value yourself, you will accept the bare minimum. It’s okay to ask for more of what you need.

Perhaps you’ve just constantly been taught to put the needs of others before yours?

WarmFuzzySocks · Oct 20, 2023 at 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

Yes- If I thought I could not live with the possible regret of not giving it a go and it played on my mind. So that I could have said that everything was tried.

No- if the possible benefits don’t outweigh the discomfort and other disadvantages.

I hope you make the right choice for you @@.

@@- what Lemon said.

I'm a "lean toward yes" person...also a f*** around and find out...in general, so that bias probably sways my thinking.

WarmFuzzySocks · Oct 20, 2023 at 09:41 AM

Good morning Couch!

This morning was a very NOPE morning. I hit the snooze twice without waking up.

Tried to think of ways to make it a yes day, so I ate a cookie for breakfast and I'm wearing leggings to work. Off I go.

Wishing you all yes days, or at least I guess it's all right. Heh.

Also plz to wish me good vibes or whatever- I'm putting in an offer on another house today. (Part of the nope was two hours of looking at houses last night. So. Tired.)

LonesomeTonight · Oct 20, 2023 at 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WarmFuzzySocks

Good morning Couch!

This morning was a very NOPE morning. I hit the snooze twice without waking up.

Tried to think of ways to make it a yes day, so I ate a cookie for breakfast and I'm wearing leggings to work. Off I go.

Wishing you all yes days, or at least I guess it's all right. Heh.

Also plz to wish me good vibes or whatever- I'm putting in an offer on another house today. (Part of the nope was two hours of looking at houses last night. So. Tired.)

Sending good vibes to you!

unaluna · Oct 20, 2023 at 09:52 AM

What a great idea, ways to make it a yes day.

Or as "we" say in skydiving, get around your parachute (after you land) - dont let it fill up with air and drag you away.

NP_Complete · Oct 20, 2023 at 10:15 AM

Very disappointed that cthulhu was not a recognized word in today's Spelling Bee.

NP_Complete · Oct 20, 2023 at 10:16 AM

In the middle of a week+ rupture with P and he's just left for vacation. Timing is always terrible on this things. Fun times.

ScarletPimpernel · Oct 20, 2023 at 10:32 AM

Good luck, WFS!

ScarletPimpernel · Oct 20, 2023 at 10:44 AM

Artie - I just did a quick google search and found this article. There might be better ones out there. Reasons Why You Should Start Judging People (2 Types of Judgement)

I was taught that judgments can be good, even necessary at times. It's something that all animals do. It's protective. Yes, it can turn unhealthy (i.e. prejudices, being overly critical), but judgment itself is not always bad. Think how babies or dogs know when they don't like someone even though they may have never met the person. Or you're walking down the street at night and you get scared when you see another person.

Also, your core-self is NOT your thoughts, feelings, or even actions. Your core-self affects these things, as well as outside stimuli.

You're not a bad person, Artie. I think you're a hurting person who is trying their best to navigate this messy world. You are okay, Artie.

As L would say: perfectly imperfect.

ScarletPimpernel · Oct 20, 2023 at 11:00 AM

I did it. I set up my schedule with G. Wednesdays at 2pm starting 11/8. L says to give myself permission to cancel whenever I want especially the first couple sessions. She said the first session I might not want because it's the day after my last session with her, and it might just be too soon. She said to listen to my nervous system and my wise-mind.

I think my biggest fear is what am I supposed to talk to him about? I'm not sure I want to talk with him about L. And there's nothing I really want to work on with him. L says I'll probably be guarded, shy, introverted with him. That I'll be more likely to freeze and close off. She said that's okay and if I need to, then honor those parts of me.

So what should G and I talk about? Any suggestions? What would you talk about with a support therapist who you'll only see for 15 sessions?

LonesomeTonight · Oct 20, 2023 at 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

In the middle of a week+ rupture with P and he's just left for vacation. Timing is always terrible on this things. Fun times.

Hugs, NP--I'm sorry. It does seem like timing tends to be terrible on ruptures in my experience as well. When does he return? And will you be communicating with him at all while he's away?

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Couch 245: STELLA!

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ScarletPimpernel Wise Elder Member Since Nov 2013 Location: US Posts: 8,646 (SuperPoster!) 10 7,047 hugs given	Oct 18, 2023 at 11:55 PM #961 If it would only work temporarily, IF it works, then I would sway no. Do you have an idea how bad the discomfort would be? I'm with unaluna that if you do go through with it, demand good meds. __________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica

unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 40,692 (SuperPoster!) 13 68.1k hugs given	Oct 19, 2023 at 10:45 AM #963 Weird, my apartment office wrote me an email saying to pay my rent. I didnt even notice it waz for the wrong amt. And i was even early this month! They just called back and said they firgured it out. Always blame the fat girl! Or the hoarder!

LonesomeTonight Always in This Twilight Member Since Feb 2015 Location: US Posts: 21,518 (SuperPoster!) 9 75.9k hugs given	Oct 19, 2023 at 10:57 AM #964 Hugs, Scarlet. I'm sorry she forgot about the game night. But it sounds as though you had an important discussion. I hope you're doing OK now.

ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert of my soul Posts: 7,534 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,958 hugs given	Oct 19, 2023 at 10:10 PM #968 thanks LT. but well... it was the judge-iness in my thoughts that he was being greedy and stuff that makes me feel like I'm not a nice person.

unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 40,692 (SuperPoster!) 13 68.1k hugs given	Oct 20, 2023 at 09:52 AM #974 What a great idea, ways to make it a yes day. Or as "we" say in skydiving, get around your parachute (after you land) - dont let it fill up with air and drag you away.

NP_Complete Grand Magnate Member Since Feb 2017 Location: the upside down Posts: 3,860 7 6,392 hugs given	Oct 20, 2023 at 10:15 AM #975 Very disappointed that cthulhu was not a recognized word in today's Spelling Bee.

NP_Complete Grand Magnate Member Since Feb 2017 Location: the upside down Posts: 3,860 7 6,392 hugs given	Oct 20, 2023 at 10:16 AM #976 In the middle of a week+ rupture with P and he's just left for vacation. Timing is always terrible on this things. Fun times.

ScarletPimpernel Wise Elder Member Since Nov 2013 Location: US Posts: 8,646 (SuperPoster!) 10 7,047 hugs given	Oct 20, 2023 at 10:32 AM #977 Good luck, WFS! __________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica