I want to know if my therapist has been abusive towards me...

I've been with him for 4 years for some kind of psychoanalysis that's once a week and now i consider leaving.

and he has these boundaries:

- you don't show up to a session you pay for it or reschedule to same week, if there is avilability.

-if you take a break from therapy, he immediately puts in someone new and you can't return

-if you are taking a vacation longer than one week, you will either have to quit therapy or pay for all the sessions you will miss.


I told him I won't be able to meet him next month and that I can't pay for these sessions.

His reply was that if I take a break, the therapy will end because other people need him and he will take in to therapy someone else who is avilable.

I told him if this is the case, then I want to quit.

then there were some things that seemed to me like red flags

which i'm unsure about:


- telling me that I better remember the other therapists i've been before him and how they were (meaning, that i was not happy with them because they has less strict boundaries)

-telling me that i need to recall how much i wanted this thereapy with him and that I even agreed to wait 6 months for it

-If I do a break I will not have a chance to see him again, because he will take someone else

-telling me that I should focus on him helping me and not others, and that the therapy should be personal.

-I told him in the past that I had abandoment issues, and I found it very difficult to leave my parents house, and that I keep coming back to them.

are these red flags?

is he using my personal information to take advantage of me and keep me in therapy?

I am also coming to the meetings very stressed, hinting there is a strong transference here and I'm not leaving the sessions feeling much different, only a little bit of relief sometimes, nothing major.

maybe this is how psychoanalysts work and these are their boundaries?

or is he taking advantage of my attachment to him and not wanting to leave after 4 years together?