Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVII

LonesomeTonight · Apr 28, 2024 at 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Why not also ask R to help you deal with the consequences of his decision? Especially if he doesn’t change his mind.

It sounds like you’re assuming if he only understood, he would keep the fish. I don’t think that’s a given.

That's a good point, to talk to R about how to deal with the consequences of the decision.

And I know it may seem that way, but it's not just about his deciding to keep the fish--it's also about his understanding my feelings about it. Realizing how it affects me. And maybe feeling some level of empathy or sympathy for that. Even if it ultimately ends up that it won't fit in the space.

I think it also would help if I could understand where it's coming from. Or at least why it matters to me, even if I can't identify "Oh, this ties to this incident when I was 8 years old." As right now, I feel sort of ridiculous that it's affecting me so much. But R does the "when did you first feel like this in your life" sort of thing. Not sure I'll/we'll be able to figure it out, but hoping so.

Mountaindewed · Apr 28, 2024 at 06:44 PM

If I'm dying from this thing then I want to say goodbye to my transference T. I don't give a **** if its still unhealthy that I'm not over her 3 years later.

LonesomeTonight · Apr 28, 2024 at 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

If I'm dying from this thing then I want to say goodbye to my transference T. I don't give a **** if its still unhealthy that I'm not over her 3 years later.

Hugs to you if wanted. I hope you're not dying...

comrademoomoo · Apr 29, 2024 at 11:59 AM

Hurry up and engage with the arrangements for this week, I need to know what I can offer my students. The world doesn't revolve around you and your priorities. After all, I need to work to pay your exorbitant fee.

LonesomeTonight · Apr 30, 2024 at 08:16 AM

Dear T,

I admit that part of why I'm still meeting with you while sick (even though you said no-penalty cancellation) is that I could use some empathy from you and feel you'll give it. Like hopefully you'll be more gentle with me because I'm sick. I do hope we'll be able to meet in person Friday though.

Love,
LT

ArtieTheSequal · Apr 30, 2024 at 03:07 PM

Guess who no longer has the desire to be your friend?

Miracles DO happen.

Mountaindewed · 06:47 PM

I emailed you awhile ago about something really important and its kinda strange you haven't replied yet.

I still haven't heard back. Also got blown off by my pdoc among other people today

LonesomeTonight · Apr 30, 2024 at 05:30 PM

Dear T,

You did give some empathy, so thanks. And I feel we had a (mostly) good discussion about the fish. I do think that talking to R first helped me.

And your comment at the end re: in person vs. virtual Friday, depending on how I'm feeling. That I only need to let you know if it's virtual. Your "But I'm sure you'll let me know either way" is one of those comments that if I read it in an email/text, might feel like you were annoyed. But you were smiling when you said it, so instead, it felt more affectionate, or at least accepting.

Love,
LT

Mountaindewed · Apr 30, 2024 at 10:09 PM

So you just aren't going to respond tonight? That was a pretty serious email.

comrademoomoo · May 01, 2024 at 05:53 AM

Why haven't you offered me a regular time at your office in town? It's infinitely easier for me to get there than to trek to your house in the middle of nowhere. I mean, I really like your set up in the woods and I wouldn't want to miss out on it, but I also want a slot at your office. And on Zoom. And sometimes twice a week and sometimes every other week. And I want you to reduce your fee and I want you to dress differently. Also, you must stop your affectation with the glottal stop. Tea made on the fire would be nice and there's nothing to stop you offering homemade tablet either. You should be lighting the candles every week not just when it suits you, but I do appreciate that they are beeswax. Anyway, despite all these imperfections and shortcomings, I am really looking forward to today.

Mountaindewed · 01:48 PM

I don't know where you wandered off to, but I left my house today in shorts and a T shirt which is a big deal considering I wouldn't leave my house at all without my denim jacket and jeans a couple weeks ago.

I wonder if your ok? You just ghosted me when I'm going through a lot. And you know people ditching me and not responding has been a big issue for me lately.

LostOnTheTrail · Yesterday at 08:24 AM

Thank you for the assurance that you will be there.

InkyBooky · Yesterday at 09:59 AM

Dear T-

Thank you for offering that hug as I was leaving this morning. I find it hard to ask for one- especially after a challenging session or a long break between sessions.. like we've had recently. Your hugs are safe and grounding.

Twice a month feels workable now. I feel stronger and more confident in myself since reducing sessions. Strangely, it also seems like you're even more attuned and present when I do see you now? I didn't expect that outcome but I'm happy with it. Makes the sessions feel especially worthwhile and productive.

Mountaindewed · Yesterday at 03:56 PM

So the email ended up in your spam folder for some reason but we did discuss it and the second email from yesterday and whats been going on.

I wasn't feeling it today in therapy but I dealt with it. It wasn't you, I'm just tired of repeating myself and the same story and I was nauseated and I didn't like the way I looked on Zoom. I'm glad we ended a few minutes early.

I wish there was some way to do therapy through email or text instead of talking.

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Mountaindewed Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Where the sidewalk ends Posts: 36,287 (SuperPoster!) 7 8,797 hugs given	Apr 28, 2024 at 06:44 PM #522 If I'm dying from this thing then I want to say goodbye to my transference T. I don't give a **** if its still unhealthy that I'm not over her 3 years later. __________________ Ridin' with Biden
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comrademoomoo Grand Poohbah Member Since Feb 2019 Location: Toodlepip Posts: 1,720 5	Apr 29, 2024 at 11:59 AM #524 Hurry up and engage with the arrangements for this week, I need to know what I can offer my students. The world doesn't revolve around you and your priorities. After all, I need to work to pay your exorbitant fee.
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LonesomeTonight Always in This Twilight Member Since Feb 2015 Location: US Posts: 20,785 (SuperPoster!) 9 75k hugs given	Apr 30, 2024 at 08:16 AM #525 Dear T, I admit that part of why I'm still meeting with you while sick (even though you said no-penalty cancellation) is that I could use some empathy from you and feel you'll give it. Like hopefully you'll be more gentle with me because I'm sick. I do hope we'll be able to meet in person Friday though. Love, LT
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ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,262 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,779 hugs given	Apr 30, 2024 at 03:07 PM #526 Guess who no longer has the desire to be your friend? Miracles DO happen.
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Mountaindewed Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Where the sidewalk ends Posts: 36,287 (SuperPoster!) 7 8,797 hugs given	Apr 30, 2024 at 04:47 PM #527 I emailed you awhile ago about something really important and its kinda strange you haven't replied yet. I still haven't heard back. Also got blown off by my pdoc among other people today __________________ Ridin' with Biden Last edited by Mountaindewed; Apr 30, 2024 at 06:47 PM..
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Mountaindewed Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Where the sidewalk ends Posts: 36,287 (SuperPoster!) 7 8,797 hugs given	Apr 30, 2024 at 10:09 PM #529 So you just aren't going to respond tonight? That was a pretty serious email. __________________ Ridin' with Biden
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