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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 38,310
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8 9,516 hugs
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#681
I know you're worried about me and the 4th. I didn't even tell you my sister will be at Yosemite. But a several hour long car ride is too much and my mom needs this vacation. I'll be fine.
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LonesomeTonight
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Human Feeling
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 5,335
13 3,466 hugs
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#682
See you in the morning.
Let's have the session I'd originally planned for Thursday. __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
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Writing my way through...
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert of my soul
Posts: 7,546
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4 5,964 hugs
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#683
I miss you. I guess this is gonna take longer than I had thought it would, when I'd been doing so well. It's the rain. I blame it on that. Some of our best sessions happened when it was raining outside, for some reason. I think I know why; listening to the rain while being in your office is about the most relaxing thing I can think of.
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Brown Owl 2, LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,662
(SuperPoster!)
10 7,080 hugs
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#684
Four ruptures at the same time. Can we please not have any more? I know it's based upon my reaction to my past traumas, but your actions are still what triggered me. I try so hard to be clear. I try so hard in general. Can we please just get through with all of this because I really need our connection/bond back.
__________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
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ArtieTheSequal, Brown Owl 2, LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail
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Human Feeling
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 5,335
13 3,466 hugs
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#685
I'm so sorry you're going through this, Scarlet.
__________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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ScarletPimpernel
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 21,540
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9 76k hugs
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#686
Dear T,
Could you please just move already? I suspect it will just be disruption after disruption until you do. You were supposed to be in the new office today. Well, I guess you will be, at the time of my originally schedule session, but not permanently. It feels a bit weird that we'll be meeting someplace I've already said good-bye to, but I'd rather meet in person. Love, LT |
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LostOnTheTrail, ScarletPimpernel
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Human Feeling
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 5,335
13 3,466 hugs
given |
#687
Hi R,
I really need to feel safe with you over the next few weeks before we move online. My guard is up, and I need you to help me bring it down a little. Yes, I am pissed off that you dropped that on me when I'm in the middle of understanding a new layer of my relationship with Steve. It's great that I'm using other resources, but nobody else can sit with me in it, and remind me that the big feelings will subside. Ten more sleeps until the redux. __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 38,310
(SuperPoster!)
8 9,516 hugs
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#688
I feel like its a bit unproffesional to keep calling out that one therapist during our sessions and bringing her up. Which is why I kinda stuck up for her today and said I didn't think she was that bad and I've had worse therapists. But like just move on already.
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Human Feeling
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 5,335
13 3,466 hugs
given |
#689
I wish I was the kind of person who could take changes in therapy in my stride.
The stuff we're working on at the moment is enough, without throwing anything else into the mix. __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
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...............
Member Since Sep 2006
Location: in my head
Posts: 2,913
18 8,780 hugs
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#690
Dr. S. - I want to send you this quote from TV show and I am trying not to email you very much. I still miss the you I had. I am not sure that will ever really go away. I miss you almost every day. The moments are shorter and the tears are less. The pain of the loss still overshadows the gratitude of once having you in my life and all you gave me. I don't know yet how to flip that ratio. I am grateful for everything you did for me. Love me
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LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 21,540
(SuperPoster!)
9 76k hugs
given |
#691
Dear T,
You keep mentioning not wanting to hurt me. Not saying something for fear of hurting me. Where did this shift come from? I mean, I appreciate it. But a few years ago, maybe even a year ago, you'd have had no qualms about hurting me. Well, not that you'd have done so intentionally. But your focus would have been on being honest and, well, your own comfort. Not mine. Part of me feels I should talk about it, and part of me feels like I should just let it be and appreciate you sensitivity and care, with the hope that it lasts. Going to listen to the second part for now. Love, LT |
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LostOnTheTrail, ScarletPimpernel
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Human Feeling
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 5,335
13 3,466 hugs
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#692
My support system is in flux all over the show.
You know that reaching out is hard for me. You might need some time off, but I don't get a break from my stuff. __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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DigitalDarkroom, LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
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Junior Member
Member Since Jun 2023
Location: Wonderland
Posts: 24
1 80 hugs
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#693
Dear A1,
Thank you for working today and being there for me. I wouldn’t be able to get through this awful day without you. A2 |
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ScarletPimpernel
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Writing my way through...
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert of my soul
Posts: 7,546
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4 5,964 hugs
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#694
I hoped that you would
while knowing you wouldn't and I understand why you didn't... but I still wish you would have. |
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LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail, ScarletPimpernel
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Human Feeling
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 5,335
13 3,466 hugs
given |
#695
Maybe there is one minute advantage to the occasional virtual session.
Thanks to you, I know what I'm doing with Microsoft Teams now...and that's going to come in handy when I do my passport application. __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,662
(SuperPoster!)
10 7,080 hugs
given |
#696
I want to forgive you. Desperately. I know you didn't do anything on purpose. You're not mean or cruel. But what you did has affected me on so many levels.
__________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
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DigitalDarkroom, LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 38,310
(SuperPoster!)
8 9,516 hugs
given |
#697
Sorry about not eating much lately. I know you guys don't give a crap about weight gain but will **** your pants when it comes to weight loss. Idk if its a med reaction or a stomach issue.
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LonesomeTonight
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Human Feeling
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 5,335
13 3,466 hugs
given |
#698
Today's Zoom call with the stewards of the American SL forum brought a new level of insight.
There is no complete understanding, because I wasn't in his head...but I now have a clearer picture of some of the contributing factors. We'll talk about the rest when I see you, because...that needs to be an in-person conversation. __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin Last edited by LostOnTheTrail; Jul 06, 2024 at 03:04 PM.. Reason: Fixed a typo |
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LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 21,540
(SuperPoster!)
9 76k hugs
given |
#699
Dear T,
Wish I could talk to you right now... Stood up for myself tonight and just left dinner when I was upset with H. I'd like to think maybe you'd be proud of me, but that's not what matters. I feel proud of myself. Though now a bit awkward. (I hope you won't be critical that I opted to leave...it just seemed the better option in the moment.) I want to ask if you have something tomorrow, but I imagine you won't. And it might annoy H if I went running to you anyway. It's possible that I'll email--will see how I'm feeling later (both in terms of that and asking if you have anything). I do have the concert tomorrow night, so that's something. Love, LT |
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LostOnTheTrail, ScarletPimpernel
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,662
(SuperPoster!)
10 7,080 hugs
given |
#700
I just realized that you and your clients are still in that space and I can't be. This all clearly has no effect on you.
__________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
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ArtieTheSequal, DigitalDarkroom, LonesomeTonight
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