Couch 247: Choose Cheese!

ArtieTheSequal · 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Um - artie, what is HE doing, eating that stuff? That has got to be bad for his liver. Not that you need to be keeping tabs on him. But you suffer when he gets sick, so...

Good question, it IS bad for his liver. But unlike me, he can control himself with it and eat only a little. It's a small cheesecake, not like a family size one, and will take him over a week to eat it a little piece at a time. The size it is, honestly I would eat the whole thing in one sitting if I took even one bite. Oh and with the chocolate - his liver dr said he could eat dark chocolate a little bit a couple times a week and he's really good at parceling that out. Again, something I can't do.

You're right I do suffer when he gets sick. But I'm kind of approaching this as - as long as he doesn't start eating ice cream and potatoes every day again/stays away from fast food, and his routine liver enzyme tests keep coming back normal, I'm just keeping my mouth shut cuz he's like a kid - if I say anything, he'll be like "I'll show HER" and go out and buy ice cream. I suppose you'd say that ice cream is HIS trigger food - he can't stop once he starts and used to eat HUGE bowls of it every day.

LonesomeTonight · Apr 06, 2024 at 01:04 PM

Artie, if he knows it's a trigger, could he possibly not bring it in the house? Maybe just buy a slice somewhere and eat it? I hate to ask this, but is it possible he's doing it intentionally, knowing it's a trigger? Maybe even subconsciously?

And you're doing awesome!

ArtieTheSequal · Apr 06, 2024 at 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Artie, if he knows it's a trigger, could he possibly not bring it in the house? Maybe just buy a slice somewhere and eat it? I hate to ask this, but is it possible he's doing it intentionally, knowing it's a trigger? Maybe even subconsciously?

And you're doing awesome!

I don't think he's doing it intentionally as in to hurt me or something, he only recently discovered that he likes it, and he did ask if it would bother me. I said no, as long as you serve yourself and don't offer me any. So far so good since he bought the first one.

And, thanks! It really helps being able to talk about the Reeses thing especially instead of keeping it a secret.

stopdog · Apr 06, 2024 at 01:24 PM

I live with someone who does eat differently than I do (cheese, sauces, some processed stuff I don't eat) - we have her fridge where she puts stuff that is hers alone - not because I am going to eat it or even want it -but due to her background -having her own control over that space and her own ability to choose what to eat if she doesn't like or want what I want to cook is super important to her.
I think even a small separate fridge might be something. I think both adults should be able to eat what they like in their own home. As long as someone is not trying to get me to eat something I have decided not to eat - no matter the reason - then they get to do so. I can no longer eat regular ice cream but maybe a tiny amount once or twice a year when I am feeling like living on the edge (stupid lactose and inflammation) but my partner can - so she does and I remind myself how horrible I usually feel after I eat more than 1 tbls or such. But she keeps it in her fridge.

stopdog · Apr 06, 2024 at 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Um - artie, what is HE doing, eating that stuff? That has got to be bad for his liver. Not that you need to be keeping tabs on him. But you suffer when he gets sick, so...

It is his body - his to deal with if he gets sick from it.
I can see not being happy that someone was sick of course, but if I suffered because of what someone else does to themselves - then that is on me - not them. And it would be my responsibility to hold a boundary on that if necessary

unaluna · Apr 06, 2024 at 02:27 PM

Oh well now that artie explained - it sounds like her h has become woke! Seriously, im like artie, i would inhale one myself. But he is eating his cheesecake quite responsibly - thats mostly what i was fretting about, that he was in denial and it would rain down on artie. Codependence once removed? Or twice applied!

ArtieTheSequal · Apr 06, 2024 at 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Oh well now that artie explained - it sounds like her h has become woke! Seriously, im like artie, i would inhale one myself. But he is eating his cheesecake quite responsibly - thats mostly what i was fretting about, that he was in denial and it would rain down on artie. Codependence once removed? Or twice applied!

Codependence is a sneaky b.

It literally amazes me to watch him eat one little piece and then put his dish in the sink and be done. I'm like huh? You can do that?

I am also completely in awe that it is still whole in the fridge, hours after bringing it home. Again, "you can do that?"

unaluna · Apr 06, 2024 at 06:27 PM

Men! Can't live with them, and they can eat just one piece of cheesecake!

I dont even unpack the rest of my Shipt order and all the donuts or ice cream or whatever be gone.

Tart tells me it's better for your blood sugar if you eat your treat as a dessert, i.e., after a proper meal.

ArtieTheSequal · Apr 06, 2024 at 09:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Men! Can't live with them, and they can eat just one piece of cheesecake!

I dont even unpack the rest of my Shipt order and all the donuts or ice cream or whatever be gone.

Tart tells me it's better for your blood sugar if you eat your treat as a dessert, i.e., after a proper meal.

omg una I'm the same way.

Yeah, his dr told him that too, to make sure it's balanced out with protein and stuff.

btw, can you believe it's 7pm here and he hasn't touched the cheesecake yet?!

I think he's more broken than I already thought!!

ArtieTheSequal · Apr 06, 2024 at 09:03 PM

Don't mind me, I'm feeling pretty darn good tonight. I'm still almost in disbelief about how much better I feel getting the sugar outta my system. And I'd been going hog-wild on it too so my suger-fog was baaaaaad.

Lemoncake · Apr 07, 2024 at 12:08 PM

Now that the weather is better my neighbours are in their garden. I initially thought it was cute they were spending time with friends. That was THREE hours ago. They also have an accordion and have been singing together on and off.

My place is on the ground floor right next to the garden. I’m trying not to be grumpy, but I have no other rooms to run away to where the noise would be less. 😂

Now that I’m older- I really dislike living so close to others. Two people above me. Landlord below me. Couple with the screaming kid on the left who I can hear through the wall.

ArtieTheSequal · Apr 07, 2024 at 12:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

Now that the weather is better my neighbours are in their garden. I initially thought it was cute they were spending time with friends. That was THREE hours ago. They also have an accordion and have been singing together on and off.

My place is on the ground floor right next to the garden. 😂

my H has a big old accordian and can actually play it. he was supposedly quite good when he was younger. Thankfully he doesn't play it very often. No offense to accordion players. That thing is just LOUD!!!

Lemoncake · Apr 07, 2024 at 12:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

my H has a big old accordian and can actually play it. he was supposedly quite good when he was younger. Thankfully he doesn't play it very often. No offense to accordion players. That thing is just LOUD!!!

I hope he taught your son, even though I am the proud owner of three pairs foam earplugs.

unaluna · Apr 07, 2024 at 01:11 PM

My brother played. I played for a while, then my mother gave my accordion to my cousin, who later got his own accordion. No reason really, she just thought they were poor. They weren't. His sister got her own too. I was supposed to play my brothers gigantic man accordion, when i was in 3rd grade. I weighed 100 lbs, i was the 2nd tallest girl in class, but i could not handle the size, so i quit lessons. This is one of the reasons why i believed i fared better in life if i kept my distance from my mother.

ArtieTheSequal · Apr 07, 2024 at 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

I hope he taught your son, even though I am the proud owner of three pairs foam earplugs.

Nope, he didn't want to learn. He was way more interested in guitar and saxophone.

WarmFuzzySocks · Apr 07, 2024 at 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

I am in a legal cannabis state and have a med card but never really grew up knowing much about it. In high school and college -the drummers were stoned but the rest of us mostly drank alcohol and didn't smoke. So I am having to learn how to use various implements to use to help with some chronic pain/sleep issues.
I need herb for dummies or something. I sit with the toys and start and stop youtube videos. So far I may be the only person who has completely flunked water pipe.

I am also in a legal cannabis state. There's a dispensary on every corner, they're as bad as Starbucks.

The staff (in my very limited experience and from conversational anecdotes from friends of a similar age and experience level) can be super helpful, answering questions and helping figure things out. Sometimes they even have an "honored citizen" discount. Heh.

ETA: Ha ha ha- for kicks I looked it up and there is a Cannabis for Dummies on Amazon.

atisketatasket · Apr 07, 2024 at 10:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WarmFuzzySocks

I

ETA: Ha ha ha- for kicks I looked it up and there is a Cannabis for Dummies on Amazon.

*checks SD’s gift off my Xmas shopping list*

I don’t mind accordions. It’s bagpipes I can’t stand.

LonesomeTonight · Apr 08, 2024 at 06:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

*checks SD’s gift off my Xmas shopping list*

I don’t mind accordions. It’s bagpipes I can’t stand.

H's cousin plays bagpipes. I think he actually got a college scholarship partially based on his playing? Or at least that was a possibility. We saw him play a couple times, including once at some Celtic festival. That was enough really. I'm sure he's very good, just enough bagpipes. H's uncle also participated (not playing pipes, but some other role), so I got to see him in a kilt, which is...something I did not need to see.

Lemoncake · Apr 08, 2024 at 08:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

My brother played. I played for a while, then my mother gave my accordion to my cousin, who later got his own accordion. No reason really, she just thought they were poor. They weren't. His sister got her own too. I was supposed to play my brothers gigantic man accordion, when i was in 3rd grade. I weighed 100 lbs, i was the 2nd tallest girl in class, but i could not handle the size, so i quit lessons. This is one of the reasons why i believed i fared better in life if i kept my distance from my mother.

I’m sorry little you had to go through that.

Making you give up your instrument was wrong. It may have reinforced feelings of inadequacy or unworthiness. It makes sense you would take a protective stance of keeping your distance to avoid further hurt or disappointment.

unaluna · Apr 08, 2024 at 09:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

I’m sorry little you had to go through that.

Making you give up your instrument was wrong. It may have reinforced feelings of inadequacy or unworthiness. It makes sense you would take a protective stance of keeping your distance to avoid further hurt or disappointment.

Thanks, sweetie.

This is where i always disagreed with my t's. I felt ignored, discarded, misunderstood - but not unworthy. I KNEW they disregarded my value - they often told stories about how women didn't matter. I could see the prejudice for what it was. It turned into a wall between me and the rest of the world. I snuck out best i could, but familial comforts are hard to give up, such as they are.

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Couch 247: Choose Cheese!

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LonesomeTonight Always in This Twilight Member Since Feb 2015 Location: US Posts: 20,993 (SuperPoster!) 9 75.3k hugs given	Apr 06, 2024 at 01:04 PM #862 Artie, if he knows it's a trigger, could he possibly not bring it in the house? Maybe just buy a slice somewhere and eat it? I hate to ask this, but is it possible he's doing it intentionally, knowing it's a trigger? Maybe even subconsciously? And you're doing awesome!

unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 40,186 (SuperPoster!) 13 67.2k hugs given	Apr 06, 2024 at 02:27 PM #866 Oh well now that artie explained - it sounds like her h has become woke! Seriously, im like artie, i would inhale one myself. But he is eating his cheesecake quite responsibly - thats mostly what i was fretting about, that he was in denial and it would rain down on artie. Codependence once removed? Or twice applied!

unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 40,186 (SuperPoster!) 13 67.2k hugs given	Apr 06, 2024 at 06:27 PM #868 Men! Can't live with them, and they can eat just one piece of cheesecake! I dont even unpack the rest of my Shipt order and all the donuts or ice cream or whatever be gone. Tart tells me it's better for your blood sugar if you eat your treat as a dessert, i.e., after a proper meal.

ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,404 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,860 hugs given	Apr 06, 2024 at 09:03 PM #870 Don't mind me, I'm feeling pretty darn good tonight. I'm still almost in disbelief about how much better I feel getting the sugar outta my system. And I'd been going hog-wild on it too so my suger-fog was baaaaaad.