Couch 247: Choose Cheese!

Thanks for the reply--it helps to hear your experience of it. Gives me a different perspective. Who knows how I (or another client) might have reacted to seeing whatever is in the background? We were sort of joking at first about what might be back there, like he was saying a half-empty bottle of whiskey (I said "or an empty one") or drug paraphernalia. I was tempted to make a joke about something else, but refrained. Maybe it was Info! Or elk horns.

And I did initially say to him that the picture background can be a problem for the reason you said--a musician I like played some free shows from home during the pandemic and used an outer space background. Parts of him would periodically disappear.

I do think it would have helped had I known in advance he was going to do that--and he said he realized he should have warned me.

My T has never blurred her background, but she once turned off the camera when she had to step away for a minute…her dog was barking.
I was really bothered by it. It took me a few sessions to finally bring it up to her. She felt bad that it had affected me. She was wearing her pajamas and she didn’t want me to see!

Helps to know that affected you--and I'm glad she told you the reason why! I tend to be careful in what I wear on video calls for that reason--in case I have to stand up.

Yes, that's what it feels like to me. Even if he had a very good reason for doing it (including that he thought it would make clients less uncomfortable to see a blurred background that whatever was actually there). But it would help to hear that.

Ha! Now I'm imagining my session being periodically interrupted by the drunk poets spouting out a poem on what I've been talking about.

I doubt I would have noticed the background - I never noticed it with any other zoom.
Has the extreme focus on the therapist lessened any over the past few years?

*CEU credits.

Dr. S never blurred her background. For most of the time with her, it didn't bother me very much to see the backgrounds. It was more of an issue once Covid happened and we were doing all session remotely and I wouldn't know that she was traveling or was elsewhere when we had session. The last year or so, things were unstable, every change in background made me wonder what was going on in her life; even when she was in the same room but changed her position so I didn't see the things I was used to. Sometimes I would use the things in the background as a focus but more often than not, I used things in my room once I saw where she was.

L never blurred her background either, then again, she always did online sessions from her office anyway so there wasn't anything different I'd have seen.

Rupture with T. I don’t want to post a thread about it but would really appreciate a pm conversation with anyone who has the time? My defences are up so I can’t talk to her until I process / understand what’s going on. Does anyone have time to help?

I do feel it has lessened considerably, yes. It just comes out more at certain times.

Hugs, Ana. Feel free to PM (though I may not be able to write back till later this evening).

I'd be around too for a few hours. Edit: only looked at the time not the date, so sorry, maybe outdated... else feel free!

Re the blurring: for those of you who think it's normal, think about the facts that a) it doesn't cut out perfectly around you and you can see a little background clearly floating around the person, that just looks weird, and b) it can bug and show the background. I have had video calls for 10 years before the pandemic and it was so normal to see a cleaned up background, I personally even have invested thoughts into what I display in the background of my camera. The blurring only came on as people who had to work from home had to have a background and didn't want to show it. This was an absolute non-issue before, and now it's like "oh, what might he have that" and then hit the screenshot button as soon as it bugs. If you don't invest into a greenscreen, just put your normal room in the background, have a small shelf with a few cute things on it that aren't too personal and you're all set.

Edit: if you are in a different from usual location, I understand blurring a bit, though it's a joke for privacy. But I see regular business people at their office blurring their background. There's a shelf with a few folders there, come on, nothing to hide! Eyes have developed to deal with things in the background of a person talking to you...

I do have fun news to share. It's exciting for me. So a few years ago I got my grandfather's old typewriter from my mom's house when she moved cuz she didn't want it anymore. I've been wanting to get it refurbished ever since I got it so I can use it. Anyways I found a place up in Phoenix that restores antique typewriters so I messaged them a picture. He said it looks like a 1925 Underwood. I knew it was older than me but hadn't realized it was almost 100 years old! I have some days off in April so I'm going to take it up there and have the guy take a look at it and give me a quote. I'm really hoping he can do it for a price that isn't too outrageous I'd so love to be able to use it.

That is awesome, Artie!

I hope you can get it back in working order.

thanks Lost! Wouldn't that be cool? I think it would be fun to type up some of my poems on it.

It would be so cool.

My grandma got me a typewriter when I was a kid, but I think I 'upgraded' to a word processor.

Only now do I recognise what a mistake that was.

I no longer have the space, but one day I'd love to get another typewriter.

here's Orville (I named him after my Grandpa) pre-restoral. The typewriter restoral guy said it appears to have been factory refurbished probably in 1930 going by the color. It was originally black. i found the serial number on it that does identify it made around 1925.

Beautiful!

I love the round keys.