Today I told T about a dream I had in which my husband and I came in for couples counseling and he shook my husband's hand while I stood by and watched. I told him how mad I was in the dream because I couldn't believe that after all this time he would shake my husband's hand, but not mine. This led into a big discussion about erotic transference in which I told him since he knows that sometimes I want to %#@&#! him, I feel this makes me toxic to him and he will be afraid of me. I said that I picture him moving his chair far, far away from me until he is in the next offfice. I joked, "You even moved your office far away."

He said, "Yes, but I took you with me."

He said part of the transference comes from the understanding and appreciation. I said, "Well, I don't go around telling everyone that understands and appreciates me that I wanna %#@&#! them." Then we both cracked up and he said he could just imagine my team meetings at my internship. Then he said that obviously there is a level of intimacy in our relationship that pushes me more towards feeling the way I do.

At the end of the session, I got up to leave and he said, "Hey-- stick your hand out." So I did and he took my hand and shook it. He said, "Just in case.... didn't want you to ever think I would be afraid."

By the time I left his office, the ice storm had gotten bad. A normal half hour drive home turned into a two and a half hour ride. There were so many accidents along the way. My phone rang and I ignored it. Then I checked the message and it was from T-- "I just want to make sure you are home okay. I didn't realize how bad it had gotten out and I am very concerned. Please call me back when you get this. I will try back later."

When I got home, he called again, "And at the very exact time I said to him, "I'm not dead!" he said "you're alive!" Hahahahaha. Then I wanted to know if he was home okay but I felt weird asking so I go, "Um, are you at your home base?" And he laughed, knowing exactly how I felt and what I meant, and he said, "Don't worry. I am fine."



On Saturday, I am going to offer him my hand.

[tulips30]

Just wanted to tell you again how glad I am that you are back sharing your t. experiences. I didn't realize just how much I missed them until you were back.

Oh.....by the way....I still want your t!

tulips

[jacq10]

Thank you for sharing (((((pink))))

[MissCharlotte]

(((Pinksoil)))

I am glad you are back and feeling better.

The handshake is so awesome--it shows his willingness to meet you where you are.

Come to think of it, last year when my son was sick my H and son came to therapy with me for real so we could all work together on family issues.

At the end of the session he shook all of our hands. That has not happened since. Whoa, maybe that's why I invited H to come to therapy with me last week-because I craved that handshake?

Hmmmmmmmm

[Perna]

I don't know, he was kind of jokey asking for your hand (I thought of a John Wayne Western, "Stick it here, Partner") and noticed he didn't stick his out there first in case you rejected it? Make him do it again, right

[Merlin]

when i started seeing my pdoc, after each session he would shake my hand. at some point it stopped, but it's started up again and i really like it. i tend to stand at the door before i leave and give him time to take my hand.

[(JD)]

Very kewl.

Pink,
From which therapy fairytale book do your posts come? I love them! Your knight in shining armour is to die for! I can see that the ending to your story will be that you will live happily ever after! And you deserve this. Love ya'

[ECHOES]

Wow. What a moment to savor and remember!