Couch 248: Curiouser and Curiouser

He does tend to say "I'm sorry this is so difficult" or something like that. Good thought on talking about the change.

"The Armadillo and the Pineapple" sounds like either a novel or a country song. Now I'm curious as to where they came from. I have some items like that.

I imagine he has some items in his office (he has a *lot* of stuff) are similar in that he isn't sure how he acquired them. I guess the difference to me here is that he knows how he acquired the fish, and I'm sitting in front of him telling him that it's important to me. To me, that should take priority over some random tchotchke (sp?) with origin unknown that has been sitting on a shelf for 10 years.

I also know I have more of an attachment to objects than many or possibly even most people. Exhibit: my house. And I'd be more likely to keep something is someone gave it to me (though I've gotten better at letting go of that sort of thing). So if that's not a thing for him, maybe he just doesn't understand why it's important? I think R would get it.

Yes! He did sign to vacate. Actually, my sister became his power of attorney, so I assume she signed via notary. I don't know. But we are officially allowed to move now.

I know I probably can't keep the restraining order past the court date. I don't think she's dumb enough to do stuff once she's served. Truly, we just want her to leave us alone. But I'm pretty sure there will be lawsuits in our future because she enjoys taking people to court (it's free for her).

LT - If whatever reason he doesn't keep the fish, can you look at it that you just got a valuable piece of treasure? You get to keep something that was once his, lived in his space. I know it will be hard (would be hard for me too!), but if you saw it as a prize, maybe it might feel a little better?

Thanks, Scarlet, that's a good way to look at it.

This fish is your transitional object of f you want it.. Seems to solve.

Back from the dr, just picked up drive-thru tacos on the way home. Dr wasn't too awful; I mean this procedure is definitely not on my list of Favorite Things To Do or anything, but it wasn't terrible either. I'm happy I didn't bother with xanax this time, so h didn't have to take me.

Today has been a Day, but I bought two tickets for a raffle by one of my favourite YouTube artists last week, and found out tonight during her livestream that I'd won the set of handmade, hand picked watercolour paints.

Part of the proceeds from the raffle went to one of my favourite mental health charities, too.

I did not expect to win anything...so to get the top prize (in my mind) was very special indeed.

LT, why don’t you take possession of the fish? Use it as your ownership of a piece of the old office. Transitional object perhaps.

My therapist moved offices in the middle of things. Honestly, it wasn’t that difficult to adjust to. I remember the first session in the new office he took me on a tour (the new office had room for more therapists, etc.) The only odd thing was for that first session there, his personal office wasn’t quite ready, so we used someone else’s. But his new office was fine.

Remember, he has to make it his own, and it may be configured a bit differently so things won’t be physically exactly the same.That’s to be expected.

But bottom line, the most important thing for me was that HE was the same. Our work continued. Our relationship was exactly the same. Sometimes it is important to remember what parts of that relationship are most important.

Some things change, but the foundation of your work will remain.

Nuggets vs Lakers. Nuggets dont pull a lot of fouls so the game keeps moving. I really loved last weeks game. I read about them in the new yorker i think? The foreign guy is the real deal. Nikola Jokić. Ha! He just passed the ball behind his back! And then his teammate scored. Too funny.

AND -my tv just switched to español! I wasnt touching it! I think we had a power outage last night, i had no channels this morning. Now i cant adjust the picture or anything. And it thinks it is speaking english. i should be fluent in an hour!

An hour? Surely a savant like you only needs twenty minutes or so.

That's idiot-savant!

I thought the Nuggets vs Lakers was going to reveal itself as a wise una allegory being told to help LT navigate the fish and rupture. But it turned out to be literally about sport. I feel disappointed. Adrift, if you will, without the moral guidance which only una can provide.

Same! Ex-MC especially liked sports metaphors, and of course Dr. T uses them, too.

I still think of this time that ex-MC was attempting to relate some situation H and I had to his wanting to play basketball despite being short. Afterward, H and I said to each other, "How exactly did that relate to anything?" I guess it was a bonding moment of sorts!

Dr. T will occasionally use them for sports I'm not that familiar with, and I'm like, "Could you explain that in (American) football or baseball terms?"

Thanks for the comments. I know at first, when I replied to Scarlet, I said that could be a good idea. But now I'm wondering if it might just make me feel sad? I think it depends on how it would happen and how other discussions go about this. Like if it's more, "Fine, I'll just take it so you don't have to deal with it," that won't feel good. Or if he says, "Yeah, I can't fit it. Do you want it back?" I mean, it would depend on the context for that second one--it might feel totally fine if we have a better discussion about it. If I feel understood.

If I felt better about our conversations and proposed it myself--or if he suggested it--then it might feel different. I'm not sure if that makes sense, what the difference would be. Right now, I just know I don't feel good about things. And taking it back and sitting it on a shelf would currently remind me of those feelings. But maybe I'll feel differently in a month or 6 weeks, when the move would be.

I imagine if he were offering it back to you (sort of like re-gifting), it might feel more meaningful, rather than you reclaiming it for yourself. A relational process rather than a unilateral one. If the two of you were able to discuss the significance of the fish (the meaning is obviously not just about the fish itself) and what the giving, receiving, placing of the fish symbolizes then the offering it back to you could open up further work again. For example, the fish might be understood as parts of you and those parts belong with you and not others. At the moment it all sounds locked in rejection, shame, misunderstanding instead of being able to explore what's happening relationally and in your process. He seems to be thinking of it all very literally.

(woowoo warning) ....or maybe, LT,you could still take it, and then bring it with you to the new office for the first couple times and sit it next to you, so it can absorb the energy of the new place, then maybe it would feel better having it at home. or in your car. or wherever. (maybe somebody already suggested that and I just missed it.)

I knew Lakers was a sports thing, because my brother has a T shirt.

When we were kids, my aunt brought us each a Cardinals shirt as a gift.

Sweet Moo, Una is only ever going to break your heart.

In this situation, when you’re grappling with uncertainty and conflicting emotions Instead of trying to push away or resolve these feelings immediately, recognize that it's natural to feel ambivalent and uncertain in situations like this,

Try to create space for yourself. You don’t have to make a decision right away.

And then she will be stronger at the broken places. But you can't run from love.

You can't run from it, you can't hurry it, you can't help falling in it, all you need is it, we want to know what it is ... Oh I am tearing up over here in this pop parade.

Heard this today on tv show marathon "Any time now".
Fave song, fave show, life is good.

Old you would have said cooties. So guess there is some growth.

You are too too funny!

Sometimes, y'all, H really surprises me. I've been pretty crampy since my procedure on Friday and asked him to go get me some ibuprofen this morning cuz tylenol doesn't help. He came back with both that and these little gourmet boston creme pie donuts. omg. i know i'm not eating sugar right now but I agree with him, that i deserve one of these after Friday's appointment. It tastes soooooooo good!! It's pretty small so I hope it doesn't get me craving sugar again. Even if it does, it'll be worth it!!!

Hope you could enjoy the doughnut guilt free.