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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 21,595
(SuperPoster!)
9 76.1k hugs
given 
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Jun 27, 2024 at 02:25 PM
#981
Quote:
Thanks, Lemon! That's nice to hear. I think the office stuff may have been urgent in the sense that it could have been postponing his move. So he might have had to contact the moving company to postpone, his coworkers, etc. Though it seems like it could have waited until after my session maybe? |
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Human Feeling
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 5,420
13 3,514 hugs
given
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Jun 27, 2024 at 03:10 PM
#982
I should say so, considering you're paying for his time!
__________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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 Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight
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Roses are falling.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Seattle.
Posts: 9,945
(SuperPoster!)
7 10.4k hugs
given
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Jun 27, 2024 at 03:27 PM
#983
Quote:
It’s his responsibility to manage his business, without it impacting on you. __________________ 
Last edited by Lemoncake; Jun 27, 2024 at 03:58 PM.. |
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LonesomeTonight, NP_Complete
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 536
10 40 hugs
given |
Jun 27, 2024 at 04:30 PM
#984
Quote:
 I often have interrupted sessions; the most I ever had in one session was five, and they were all different things (she did apologise and make up the time at the end). Sent from my SM-A526B using Tapatalk __________________ To the world you might be just one person; but to one person you might be the world. |
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 LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
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NP_Complete, stopdog
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 21,595
(SuperPoster!)
9 76.1k hugs
given
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Jun 27, 2024 at 09:32 PM
#985
Quote:
One positive thing about my ex-T is that she kept her phone in her purse turned off during session. Ex-MC always had his phone on (and not on silent, so I'd hear very clearly when he got texts, rather than just a buzz) and would sometimes say "I just have to check the number." The worst was a couple times when he said "I have a couple potential emergencies brewing, so I have to check." He worked with high-risk teens (plus, at the time, his wife being sick). Those times were difficult because it felt like any moment, he might get a text and have to end the session. Once, he did take a call from a client, thinking it was an emergency (he stepped out of the room), then came back a minute later saying it was not an emergency. |
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 21,595
(SuperPoster!)
9 76.1k hugs
given
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Jun 27, 2024 at 09:35 PM
#986
Quote:
Yeah, it was difficult, especially with him turning off both video and audio, so I was just there, having no idea what was going on or how long he'd be. It might have felt a bit different had it been in person and he'd stepped into the hall or something. The one time, he put audio on for a second and said, "Sorry, LT, I just need one more minute." Which, it's good he updated me. And I understand it was probably something urgent. But I wish it could have waited. |
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| Lemoncake
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 21,595
(SuperPoster!)
9 76.1k hugs
given
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Jun 27, 2024 at 09:38 PM
#987
Quote:
Yeah...he did make it up, but it made the session feel disjointed. We had to figure out what we were talking about and do our best to resume. It wasn't anything particularly intense, thankfully. Unlike that session where we were trying to work through a rupture when his wife called in the middle to alert him to a tornado warning and try to convince him to step out of his office until it was over. That call he took right in front of me, which was a different level of awkward! |
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| Lemoncake, LostOnTheTrail
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Human Feeling
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 5,420
13 3,514 hugs
given
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Jun 28, 2024 at 04:11 AM
#988
Day one of living carefully is taking its toll.
Every action has to be considered in a way that I haven't needed to for a while. I'm not good at asking for help, and yet I need to. __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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| LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
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Lemoncake
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 21,595
(SuperPoster!)
9 76.1k hugs
given
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Jun 28, 2024 at 05:51 AM
#989
Quote:
Hugs, Lost. Please do your best to ask for what you need. You deserve it. |
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LostOnTheTrail
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,717
(SuperPoster!)
11 7,209 hugs
given
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Jun 28, 2024 at 09:40 AM
#990
Quote:
And for me, even if I get myself to ask for help, I seem to mess it up by not being clear somehow. Sometimes it's more of a cry for help than directly asking for what I need. __________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
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| LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail
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LostOnTheTrail
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,717
(SuperPoster!)
11 7,209 hugs
given
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Jun 28, 2024 at 09:45 AM
#991
L tries really hard to not allow any disturbances in session. She tries to remember to shut off her phone. If it does go off, it's usually a reminder alarm. I think one time she left it on for an emergency. I remember one time someone came and knocked at the office. I think it was a colleague. It was the first time I have ever seen her mad. We were sitting in the lobby once at night and someone came in. She got really mad at that too.
__________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
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| LostOnTheTrail
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LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail
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Human Feeling
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 5,420
13 3,514 hugs
given
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Jun 28, 2024 at 10:21 AM
#992
It's great when they protect the space.
I've always been grateful for the way two members of staff at my local cathedral got up when somebody came into the room where we were meeting to talk about my experience of grieving Steve. It turned out that the person who came in was the interim Dean, and we all had a wonderful conversation. How I wish I hadn't fallen flat on my face at that service, and then hugged the person who was so supportive to me a few months later. The spiritual aspect of my grief for Steve is something that I feel I'm only just beginning to unpack with R. __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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| Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,717
(SuperPoster!)
11 7,209 hugs
given
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Jun 28, 2024 at 10:48 AM
#993
So I've been having problems with my sister ever since my dad moved out. We've been to court for a restraining order against her, there have been a slew of false accusations. Called the police on me for a false wellness check. She's contacted L. And she's contacted H's boss. I guess they have been continually talking... Well, today I guess my sister asked H's boss for a job. Like wtf?!?! And his boss is considering it! And H suggested that his boss give me a job instead? I have no skills for this job. H says he can teach me, but I worry I've wasted my brain so much that it won't be able to learn.
I can believe my sister would stoop so low and harass us that much. But I can't believe H's boss is that dumb. He even told H that we need to forgive my sister. I told H he HAS to find a new job if my sister gets hired. __________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
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| LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail
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Human Feeling
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 5,420
13 3,514 hugs
given
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Jun 28, 2024 at 12:48 PM
#994
I'm so sorry to hear that Scarlet - what a mess.
__________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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ScarletPimpernel
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 21,595
(SuperPoster!)
9 76.1k hugs
given
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Jun 28, 2024 at 12:52 PM
#995
Also sorry to hear that, Scarlet. I really hope your husband's employer doesn't hire her...
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ScarletPimpernel
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Roses are falling.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Seattle.
Posts: 9,945
(SuperPoster!)
7 10.4k hugs
given
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Jun 28, 2024 at 03:11 PM
#996
Quote:
 I would draw the line there with a T today who did that repeatedly , because I thought I deserved to be treated better. The 2016 version of me would have said nothing though. I used to be someone who accepted the bare minimum from people.
__________________
Last edited by Lemoncake; Jun 28, 2024 at 05:04 PM.. |
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| LonesomeTonight
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East17
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underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 35,048
(SuperPoster!)
13 1 hugs
given
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Jun 28, 2024 at 05:37 PM
#997
Interruptions did not bother me. The first woman had it happen a few times. The second one had it happen because of their entry system so almost every appointment had an interruption when her next appt buzzed to be let in the building and sometimes they came quite early to sit in an uncomfortable chair in a building that was really an older house they just blocked off rooms to turn into offices. I refused to go if the first one's dog was there but general interruptions were not a big deal. Different lines for different people. I think I might have liked it better if therapy had been over zoom for me. I hated their offices.
__________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
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unaluna
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Writing my way through...
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert of my soul
Posts: 7,585
(SuperPoster!)
4 5,996 hugs
given
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Jun 28, 2024 at 10:09 PM
#998
It's storming tonight here, monsoon has apparently arrived. I usually love thunderstorms but tonight it is just making me all melancholy.
Oh yeah we went to a great concert the other night - Robert Cray Band / Doobie Brothers. I'd never heard Robert Cray before, but I totally loved their music!! It was better than the Doobies and I've always liked them. I would have been happy with just the Robert Cray part, they were that good. |
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| Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight
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LonesomeTonight
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Writing my way through...
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert of my soul
Posts: 7,585
(SuperPoster!)
4 5,996 hugs
given
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Jun 29, 2024 at 12:18 PM
#999
I'm deep in thought this morning about the concept of a "good goodbye" in therapy. As in, is there even such a thing and if there is, how necessary is it? I wonder if because I canceled my last session and told her on the phone I'm not coming back - did I cheat myself out of something I actually need? And that's why I keep getting these every-now-and-then moments of missing L? Or would I be having them anyway, even if I had gone in and talked about how messed up our relationship got, and allowed myself the chance to say goodbye in person? I'm working hard to accept that it's a moot point by now, 4.5 months later, but I can't seem to stop thinking about it. All opinions/viewpoints welcome.
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| LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
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Administrator
Community Support Team 
Member Since Apr 2009
Location: west coast, USA
Posts: 26,262
(SuperPoster!)
15 5,123 hugs
given
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Jun 29, 2024 at 06:23 PM
#1000
The new (or interim?) thread is here: Couch 248a: Still Curiouser. Would anyone like to start the real Couch 249?
Oops, the real Couch 249 did get started: Couch 249: The Self Care Couch |
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atisketatasket, unaluna
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