How can i explain in a way that is non confrontational, when I see my new pdoc, that I very often will find ways to sabotage therapy/skip appointments until she gives up on me/ect without alienating her from the very beginning?

I need someone who will not give up on me and will work to assist me so that I can NOT sabotage therapy. I have ideas on what would help me do this, I just don't want to come out and say "well I can be sneaky and difficult" and make her put up a wall right away.

[Perna]

I don't see any problem with saying, "I need someone who will not give up on me and will work to assist me so that I can NOT sabotage therapy. I have ideas on what would help me do this. . ." I think everyone does unconscious stuff that looks like sabotage to us.

If you have ideas that would help her help you, by all means tell her what they are! Together you can think of ways to make it "fun" to come to therapy so you won't skip, like kids that really like going to school? Talking about the subject right away, you can see how willing she is to "play"/help you with this problem you feel you are having. Sometimes just having my T and I both "knowing" something helped because she could remind me when I tried to get away with an action that wasn't in my best interest.

[tulips30]

I agree that all of us have ways of "sabotaging". The fact that you are aware of this and aware that you want to work on it puts you MILES ahead of so many people.

I would be really surprised if your new doctor isn't very appreciative of how forthcoming you are. Being honest & upfront about this and your desire to work on it makes you a really good candidate for working on change and talking openly about it. I predict your doc will be very impressed with your insight and honesty. I am..........

[ECHOES]

I told my T that I was committed to not quitting therapy like I have so many times in the past. She has told me, during difficult times to trust the process and don't give up. I tell her first thing is session when I am there but don't feel at all like being there. It's great that she understands what I'm going through and having it out in th open is really helpful. Her encouragement and support for my committment to not quit have been very helfpul. Now that I let her know, all I would have to do is tell her I feel like quitting and we can talk about it instead.

So yes tell her right away, "One of my issues is that as much as I want therapy and to commit to it, I sometimes have times when I want to avoid it by skipping sessions and I think I do that so that the therapist will give up on me." Then let discussion about this become part of your therapy. Your T will be very glad to know this about you up front via self-disclosure instead of having to figure it out over a period of time by you acting on it. I think you'll feel relieved to have it out there too.

Our T's are there to help with our difficulties rather than to judge us and abandon us in those times of confusion and fear.

[unpredictable]

I think you said it perfectly in your post and if you said everything to her that you said in your post it would be great and certainly not confrontational.

I think that if you come out and tell your pdoc this, she will be impressed. Try to think of this positively. Rarely do people approach therapy with
A. this level of insight self awareness to start
and
B. the willingness to be open and honest enough to share it.
It shows your drive to better yourself. A good pdoc or therapist will notice this. I commend you for your efforts to start off therapy this way.