Couch 249: The Self Care Couch

Thanks Artie,

They're new to me, and I really appreciate the recommendation.
I find that religious music helps, even if I'm not fully on board with the religion bit.

Will seek out more.

Hope your workday isn't too arduous!

There is a handyman in my house! I hate this. I don't like people in my house, I definitely don't like men in my house and I super definitely don't like men who make noise in my house. My partner organised it, I would be happy for the house to fall into disrepair around our ears if it meant avoiding intruders. Ugh. He is very tall, thin and bald, like a crane with a screwdriver.

That's quite a simile, Comrade.

I know what you mean about having people in your home.
Unfortunately, my mother insists on telling service providers that I 'get a bit funny' about answering the door...rather than using the word anxious.

Thanks Lemon. We'll see how it goes!

Hope you get a session and that it's helpful.

I giggled when I read your description of this handyman but I’m sorry you have to deal with that right now.

That's quite the mix! I generally like a variety, too, including Janis. Though not really that into rap from any period, aside from a few songs here and there. Or more traditional country, though I like some more alternative country stuff, like, say Drive-By Truckers/Jason Isbell.

I hope it's helpful, Artie. And it's good she seems to get what you're seeking.

It took me a long time to get past ex-MC, even though I was seeing Dr. T. I think it's normal when the relationship was that long and close. I do feel that I came out on the other side and can see the relationship differently now--more objectively in a way. And to be able to hold onto some of the positive parts instead of having it feel completely tarnished by the end.

So I hope you can get to that place, too--and I trust that you will.

I have my first gunner of the season - student emailed this morning wanting my fall syllabus. Like I have it ready before the first class.

It may depend on how you make the iced tea. Like, you may need to make it with hot water, then refrigerate it or ice it down for it to have the full effect. Though that might just be the case for regular, nonherbal tea?

I wonder this, too, also with the hydroxyzine. I know Benadryl can have the opposite effect on some people, and I think it's the same drug class. Could try a few nights without melatonin, and if that doesn't help, a few nights without hydroxyzine.

Tea and temp
To Boil or Not to Boil: Water Temperature for Tea Explained | JING Tea.

Sigh, so Dr. T told me today that they decided to do a last-minute family vacation next week. He's still seeing clients (virtually, of course), just had to adjust a couple of my times earlier because he's trying to see all clients in one big chunk. I said I felt bad seeing him on his vacation, but he said that honestly, he needs the money because of extra expenses from the move delay, so he has to work. I know he was trying to make me feel better, but I still feel a bit awkward about it.

He was also going on about how much of a mess the contractors have made of the move, that he's hoping they'll be able to still move at the end of the month (he's already gotten a month extension from the property manager, and they'll be unhappy if they (he and he others in his suite) have to stay any longer--and will charge him a bunch extra for the trouble. I feel bad for him, but it's also messing with my plans and trying to come to terms with the move, so it's complicated. Thought I'd be able to go to the beach a few days to my parents' place the week he's moving, but now that may be pushed back and their place may not be available.

I just kinda want it done with at this point! Like, can I just start adapting to the new place already? I should have been partway there by now...

This is really interesting, Artie. I hope it goes well and you can process some of the stuff. Keep us updated!

Ugh, his comment about needing the money is so crass.

Artie it took me a loooong time before i stopped talking to t in my head. But my mother did say i was "slow".

I'm so sorry, LT.

That sucks.

I do feel like talking to one's former or current T in their head is OK and maybe even a positive thing--a sign of having internalized them maybe?

And ugh to your mother...

Yeah, like, I get he was trying to make me not feel bad about still having a session. But it made me feel weird. Makes me think of the time ages ago (pre-pandemic) that I thanked him for giving me an extra session, and he was like, "Well, now I can buy a solar charger for my phone." Like, nice you're buying a fun electronics item with the hard-earned money I spent for an extra session.... I think it was a time he upset me, too, so like he's benefiting from upsetting me.

I mean, of course it's the emphasis on the monetization of the relationship... As opposed to, say, in terms of the vacation, "Well, I sprung this on you at the last minute, so I don't want you to have to cancel your sessions." Or something to that effect.

Kinda hoping R is available for one, though I have my doubts (with it being a popular time for vacations, plus she has a busy schedule).

Thanks, Lost. Summer just seems bad for therapy (thinking of your T and others', too).

Exactly.

I don't have the words, but I have to bear it.