Couch 250: An August Couch

Omg are they serious? Im so sorry.

*Curls up on Couch, whimpers*

Ugh, that sucks, Artie, I'm sorry. Shouldn't they have let you know this when they were installing it? Does the warranty cover any of this by chance?

Hugs, Lost. Want to talk about what's going on? If not, we'll keep you quiet company on the couch.

Thanks LT,

There are so many facets that I don't know where to begin.
I find myself wishing that I could feel the sense of safety with R that I had before the summer, so that I could talk openly with her.

She's missed so much.

Thanks LT. Unfortunately, the warranty doesn't cover it because it's the original tubing or whatever in the house. The guy today said yes, they should have mentioned it during the install and so we submitted a complaint. It's ridiculous. At least they offer 0% financing for 12 months so we went with that, now we just have to pay the whole mess off within the coming year. Things will be tight for a while but we'll figure it out.

Sending safe hugs, Lost.

Thanks una. It's only money, I suppose...

I hope your complaint is effective. I dont know the legal terms, but it seems like they made the mistake and they should pay for it. You didnt ask them to do it wrong.

Couch Workout Club day 75!

Another good milestone marked with a mediocre workout in my favourite self-care app.

It seems like such confusion between support and enabling.
My students confuse the two all the time when giving feedback to each other - we have to spend a lot of time getting them to give useful feedback rather than mere pap

Interesting! I would say, enabling involves judgment, by a third party? Support is given in a judgment-free zone.

That is not how I would define it. Enabling helps people stay stuck. Enabling is telling someone what they want or hope to hear (or I suppose what you think they want or hope to hear) - not what they necessarily should hear or know in order to get to where they want to be.

Sounds like a reading or viewing of Harrison Bergeron is in order. Let them argue their lifeview with Kurt Vonnegut. "Nobody should be better than anybody else because it hurts people's feelings to be not as good."

i don't know if this is what you're talking about una but on the couch, there are so many here who are vastly more intelligent than I am and often I feel like I'll never measure up and that I'm somehow "not as good". I'm not fishing for anything by saying that. It's just the truth of how I feel. I know that comparison is the thief of joy and all that but sometimes it's hard.

Artie, i dont know what your talking about either! I was answering stopdog. My contention is that the difference between enabling and supporting someone is whether that someone is being judged for their actions.

And in her case, yes the students ARE being judged on their technique. To me, supporting means everyone gets a participation trophy, nobody is getting voted off the island. Enabling means not giving someone bad news or constructive criticism that could help them stay on the island.

I was at a neighbors' dinner party before the covid, and i was the only bachelors degree there, everybody else was more degreed. So like all they were doing was reciting wikipedia facts - yeah, they knew more of them than i did, but they werent INTERESTING.

I also feel not as smart as a lot of people here. I didn't have too much college. And I have no professions. Plus my memory is going. But I actually like being around all the smart people here. I like learning from everyone.

Couch Workout Club day 76

Got my steps in running some errands.

Yeahbbut nobody can crochet like you an artie! Thats art!

i figured i misunderstood haha

so the a/c guy has been here ALLLL day working. i don't know if it's just that huge of a job, or if he's just slow. You'd think iffn it was a huge job they'd send more than one guy but whatev. As long as they get it fixed...

Its very cool here today, but they say 70's next week. Again i am glad i did not convert my a/c unit to heat. With my meds and my age and my weight and my diabetes, i do not tolerate heat at all. First i get cranky, THEN i sweat!

I am surprised trump doesnt just fall over. Well its not like he has to iron his own shirts or anything, right? Its the REST of life thats hard, not just showing up on stage.

Huh? What does judgment have to do with it.

I think it’s more like if you break your leg. Enabling would be putting you in a wheelchair because it hurts to walk. Support would be sending you to physical therapy so you recover and it doesn’t hurt to walk anymore.

Artie you need to learn to tell yourself a different story. The T Marissa peer said with all the clients she saw “not being enough” was their main issue.

You need to learn to celebrate yourself and see that you are worthy of your own love without X degree or being like Y. This will come with time. Everyone has different skills. I would trust my hairdresser with my hair more than a surgeon.

We set standards for ourselves which we think we should be at, but often these patterns were instilled in us from a young age by others.

I personally think journaling is good for everyone, but to raise your self esteem you need to get up and do physical things for yourself that help get rid of the old thought patterns. Things like getting a facial or a massage, or eating well.

Where are all these smart people? We all sound like a bunch of clueless dodos to me (not you, una, obvs).

Turns out some of us are crueller dodos than others. My cat brought in one dead baby mouse this morning and one dying baby mouse. I killed the dying one because I didn't know what else to do. I feel horrible. It felt like the less cruel thing to do, it wouldn't have survived back in the wild. I have never killed a living thing before, other than joy.