Couch 250: An August Couch

Cute! What a fun idea. But bummer that it collapsed. 2nd place is great!

weight loss dr appt went really well. i liked her, she's easy to talk to. She had a list of questions, like about how and what and when I eat and drink, exercise, etc, and we talked about options for meds, she's prescribing bupropion and naltrexone (basically Contrave, except for the combo pill Contrave is exorbitantly expensive). And she wants me to start taking otc vitamin b12. I see her again in 2 months. I am feeling very hopeful for the first time in a while.

Artie,
That's interesting about Contrave. Makes sense. I'm on Wellbutrin to 1. Give me energy in the day (I seriously can't even take naps on it) and 2. To try to quit smoking (not helping with that). But it makes sense that those two meds together would help with food cravings.

L told me an interesting thing that you might want to ask your doctor or an endocrinologist. Myo inositol is a supplement that helps with PCOS. But they have found it helps with blood sugar, too. She seriously told me this like a couple of weeks ago and I'm going to check with my endo next appt. If a supplement can help, I'd want to take that in conjunction with my meds. Maybe get off of some meds?

Thanks Scarlet, that's good to hear that the wellbutrin gives you energy, my dr mentioned that it should do that for me too. And thanks for the info about the supplement, I'll look into that.

I'm glad your appointment went well! I hope the Wellbutrin and Naltrexone are helpful.

With the B12, did she suggest a sublingual form, where you have it under your tongue instead of swallowing it? Those can be more easily absorbed.

No, she didn't mention that. I'd prefer it actually. Thanks LT!

Couch Workout Club day 91

I felt like I needed to stretch out my legs, so I did a 15 minute yoga workout.
Think I checked out partway through, though, because I don't really remember stretching them.

The national retail federation estimated that consumers would bring in $11.6 billion for Halloween this year. With an average spend of $104 per person.

$500 million is also spent on pet costumes.

As hopeful as I was feeling yesterday, I am a bit down today. The pharmacy won't have my new meds until next week, I was hoping to start them today. Sigh. Oh well, it is what it is right? Being honest, I'll probably just self-medicate with wine this afternoon after I talk to my son for his birthday anyway. And play clash of clans with my sis and bro in law. even though they're in Missouri, on weekends we text back and forth while we're playing so it's kinda like we're together.

I am missing therapy today. That was a surprise that hit me outta the blue.

Art- You can start the diet without the meds. These meds aren’t going to be the end all and be all in your journey towards a healthier lifestyle. They are there to give you that boost you need. Maybe at some point in your journey you might find you don’t even need them. I think once you start implementing the changes in diet and exercise and it becomes a normal part of your routine again..you’ll be good to go.

I know this sounds crazy but I’m starting to think I have an undiagnosed learning disability. There is a part of my brain that just refuses to have a basic understanding of certain things. I have a five year old kindergartener in my care that brought home a basic worksheet the other day that she needed help on and I was stumped on something. I felt like a total idiot that I couldn’t comprehend the instructions on the worksheet.

It doesn't sound crazy Jersey and it might be worth exploring Jersey if it helps you.

They have changed the way maths is taught in America.

I remember when my sister was studying for her 11+, her tutor who was a Oxford maths graduate openly said she didn't know for one question. (The consortium papers for anyone interested). It happens and it's okay. Try not to judge yourself for it.

I'm really sorry to hear that the timing didn’t work out with your meds—it’s frustrating when things are delayed.Even if they're far away, it's awesome that you have that shared activity to keep the bond close.

Not having therapy today when it was really needed is tough, especially when you're trying to push forward. Maybe after your son's birthday call and the gaming session, it’ll take the edge off the day a bit. I hope you can find some comfort and relaxation, even if today isn’t how you’d planned it.

Thanks, Lemon. I did get myself a new knock-off fitbit thingie, that's nicer than the old one I had that stopped working, to encourage myself to get steps in. it's pretty, has a rose-colored band. My first step food-wise is to kick the sugar habit (again). The dr yesterday said that she wants me to start working toward an 80% protein, 20% carbs diet.

I got a letter from my insurance this week that they wanted to change my beta-blocker away from what ive been taking like since it was effing invented!!! I researched it more - looked it up on next years formulary. Its gonna cost me like $25 a month instead of zero, to stay with the old med. I can handle that. Im glad i figured it out. But geez you hafta be fairly computer literate to take care of yourself nowadays. As well as medically literate. My old med wasnt in the index, but it was in the formulary. Tricky richards!

My son turned 26 today, and I got to talk to him on the phone for a little bit this afternoon. I do wish he'd moved closer to us... but I get it. He never liked the desert, and he and his gf are so much happier up north. I can't wait to see him when they come for a visit in early February! We invited them to stay with us while they're here to save a little $$ but I doubt they will. We'll see. It was so good talking with him today. He's never been a big phone talker, he prefers to text like all the young whippersnappers haha.

Thank you Lemon. You always have wise words.

It's entirely possible and could be worth looking into. There are many different elements to how we understand things, such as spatial ability or reading comprehension. Plus things like processing speed and working memory (I know some of this from my D having various assessments).

For example, my mom is great with numbers (used to work as a bookkeeper), but she can't read a map or reverse directions at al (like figure out how to get home from somewhere new).

Though as Lemon said, if it was at all math-related, they've changed how they teach that. I've tried reading about it and was still confused--and I used to be really good at math in school!

Couch Workout Club day 92

A brief workout from my self-care app today.

Trigger warning for possible TMI.

I emailed my therapist about seeing her on Halloween. She acknowledged the disruption, spoke about boundaries and proximity being an important part of our work. Pretty standard response. However, I still feel really disturbed by the whole thing and I can't really understand why. It feels like it has tapped into something much more core than simply seeing her. I have seen her in the village before and whilst I haven't liked it, it hasn't been upsetting and I haven't felt the need to mention it to her.

The sense I am making of it - sessions have just recommenced after a three week break. Coming back into contact is difficult for me in my process. Then I see her in the village and I feel intruded upon. Whilst reasonably, I know she is not doing anything wrong, I feel enraged. If she had knocked at my door, I would have just had to accept the disruption because that is the nature of sharing public space. I think this is key - my feeling of having to grit my teeth and tolerate the other person coming into my sphere. This is linked to my experiences of childhood sexual abuse. The formative experience of having my boundaries violated now means I can't tolerate anyone at my boundary. It feels like a violation, even if it is actually a normal and reasonable action.

I don't know. Maybe this is all an over complication. I am finding it hard to make sense of my strong reaction. My strong reaction itself tells me that it is about more than seeing her in the village.

Can anyone relate to any of this? I am feeling ridiculous and sad and isolated.