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Human Feeling
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 5,400
13 3,509 hugs
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Sep 25, 2024 at 03:13 AM
#21
You don't have to go solo and then present her with the finished strategy for you to work through.
I laughed reading this, because you've hit the nail on the head. I feel as though I've been set a particularly in-depth project, whilst at the same time being the project... I'm intrigued by the idea that not listening to oneself can be a 'life pattern'...that definitely resonates. I'm taking an online course on non-violent communication in the hope that I can learn how to identify feelings and needs, and then figure out how to ask for those needs to be met. Course, this is all stuff that R would support me with in ordinary time...but this isn't ordinary time. __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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 LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
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Human Feeling
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 5,400
13 3,509 hugs
given
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Sep 26, 2024 at 05:05 AM
#22
Hi all,
I began today's session by letting R know that I'd been wondering what it took for us to build that sense of safety at the beginning. She mentioned a specific factor, and I then asked what else she remembered about where we left off in July. She confirmed that she understands what the realisation was, but stopped short of acknowledging the impact. We talked about how we've only had three in-person sessions back, so it's going to take time for us to get back to that depth we were working at. Don't really know where to go from here...identifying feelings is hard for me. __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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| LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: Toodlepip
Posts: 1,824
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Sep 26, 2024 at 12:32 PM
#23
Did that feel like enough from her for now or are you left with some dissatisfaction?
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Human Feeling
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 5,400
13 3,509 hugs
given
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Sep 26, 2024 at 01:14 PM
#24
Hi Comrade,
Thanks for checking in. I'm left feeling as though I still have to explain the magnitude of this to her. I don't want to spell it out because we've worked together long enough for her to understand how I work. Because I am a sensitive person, I am easily overwhelmed by information of the sort that I now hold...and I have not had time to process it with the person who understands that version of me best. The timing of my realisation couldn't have been worse, but I had no control over that. The difficulty lies in how we rebuild after the break. Lots to figure out. Thanks, Lost __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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| LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
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 comrademoomoo
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: Toodlepip
Posts: 1,824
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Sep 26, 2024 at 01:26 PM
#25
I suppose the rebuilding has to come first before you start processing with her. Having said that, I have also known the rebuilding to take place precisely because I have stepped into the processing/deeper work so chicken and egg. It's also difficult to assess what is safe enough, what has been rebuilt enough, has enough re-establishing taken place, and so. If we had a ruler, it would be easier. A few months ago, my therapist made a horrendous mistake about an aspect of the childhood sexual abuse I experienced and it was really difficult to be steady again. It's a process. Do you sense that she is steady in the process with you?
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| LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
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LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail, ScarletPimpernel
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Human Feeling
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 5,400
13 3,509 hugs
given
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Sep 26, 2024 at 03:05 PM
#26
Thanks Comrade,
It's been a rough month because I've been navigating a maze of trigger dates alongside trying to move into processing space with her. You pose an interesting question when you ask about my sense that she is steady in the process. That is the kind of footing that I hope we can regain with time and trust, although I am not sure what rebuilding that looks like in terms of the relationship I have with her. My friend's death has affected my faith on so many different levels, and the fact that my faith in R is wavering as a result of the long break (which she 'wouldn't call a break') is challenging. It's hard to figure out, and even though she has asked me to let her know how she can help...I feel as though I have to work that out as well. Lost __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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