Home Menu

Menu



advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Mountaindewed
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Mountaindewed's Avatar
 
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 38,781 (SuperPoster!)
8
9,761 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 14, 2024 at 11:33 AM
  #21
I am so glad we moved to Thursday. I didn't feel like doing virtual therapy. I must have just had some weird side effect thing because I haven't had any of those feelings in the last 10 days or whenever that was

__________________
I'm Blue
Mountaindewed is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight

advertisement
velcro003
Elder
 
velcro003's Avatar
 
Member Since Oct 2008
Posts: 7,368
16
25 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 14, 2024 at 05:05 PM
  #22
hey t--I haven't written to you in here in a longgggg time. I don't know why your email today made me mad. I KNEW you weren't ignoring my phone call and emails this weekend. And you weren't, you were out of town. Except, now I don't want to see you on Wednesday. It makes no sense. And I absolutely will never tell you this.
velcro003 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
velcro003
Elder
 
velcro003's Avatar
 
Member Since Oct 2008
Posts: 7,368
16
25 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 14, 2024 at 05:19 PM
  #23
I also just realized that I fear you are going to tell me that we need to do something different. this therapy isn't working. I'm not sure I can handle that. I sort of want you to cancel.
velcro003 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel, unaluna
LonesomeTonight
Always in This Twilight
 
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
 
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 21,616 (SuperPoster!)
9
76.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 15, 2024 at 04:42 PM
  #24
Dear T,
I hope you'd have let me know by now if you were chosen for a jury and won't be able to meet tomorrow. Wish you'd have let me know either way. H just got really upset with D, and I'm hoping we can talk about it. (Obviously, I haven't had a discussion with him about this yet, but been kinda preoccupied with car stuff today.) So, I hope to see you tomorrow.
Love,
LT
LonesomeTonight is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
ScarletPimpernel
ArtieTheSequal
Writing my way through...
 
ArtieTheSequal's Avatar
 
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert of my soul
Posts: 7,596 (SuperPoster!)
4
6,011 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 15, 2024 at 07:53 PM
  #25
Depression sucks rocks. I've been fighting it back so hard. I feel like I'm losing again. I know it's only money but this latest $4500 hit with the stupid a/c just... I don 't know.

I miss therapy, I miss you.

I wrote a poem tonight about how depression feels. Sometimes, like tonight, I write to heal.
ArtieTheSequal is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
velcro003
Elder
 
velcro003's Avatar
 
Member Since Oct 2008
Posts: 7,368
16
25 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 15, 2024 at 08:38 PM
  #26
i am already anxious about our appt tomorrow
velcro003 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
LonesomeTonight
Always in This Twilight
 
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
 
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 21,616 (SuperPoster!)
9
76.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 16, 2024 at 03:42 PM
  #27
Dear T,

Thank you for providing a space where I can share those sorts of thoughts without judgment. Whether you get it from a similar personal experience or just by virtue of being a parent, it helps. And I felt the empathy. Looked like you wiped a few tears at one point, too.

At times, I wish we could just talk as fellow parents, not therapist-client. But then, you couldn't provide space in the same way, I imagine. As it would be taken up by your stuff, too (whatever that is).

Love,
LT
LonesomeTonight is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LostOnTheTrail, ScarletPimpernel
LostOnTheTrail
Human Feeling
 
LostOnTheTrail's Avatar
 
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 5,446
13
3,532 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 16, 2024 at 04:40 PM
  #28
Hi R,

We have a lot to talk about tomorrow.
All hell broke loose on some level the day after our most recent meeting.
Even when I am offered grace with compassion, it is nigh on impossible for me to accept it.

Then there's what happened on Monday, that should be a godsend, but is also a source of endless frustration.

Can we fit all this in to the one session?

__________________
'Somewhere up above the great divide
Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few
A man can see his way clear to the light
Just hold on tight, that's all you gotta do...'

Steve Earle - Fort Worth Blues

'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin
LostOnTheTrail is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
Mountaindewed
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Mountaindewed's Avatar
 
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 38,781 (SuperPoster!)
8
9,761 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 16, 2024 at 06:22 PM
  #29
I read on Reddit that the good therapists don't have openings and the bad therapists do. You didn't want to toot your own horn but you said "yeah... thats true."

Which is why I went through 3 bad therapists with openings before being taken on by my last therapist then switched to you about 2 years ago.

So I think we have been meeting longer then I was meeting with my transference T.

__________________
I'm Blue
Mountaindewed is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
velcro003
Elder
 
velcro003's Avatar
 
Member Since Oct 2008
Posts: 7,368
16
25 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 16, 2024 at 09:54 PM
  #30
hi t-i can’t say i am “glad” i didn’t cancel, but it was a pretty good session. i wasn’t angry at you anymore, so i didn’t bring it up. i know you thought that journal entry was a really great way for you to see what it’s like when i am really upset. you know writing is easier, and it just flows better than trying to speak. i am glad that you aren’t planning on going anywhere, even if you’ve told me a million times already
velcro003 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail, ScarletPimpernel
LostOnTheTrail
Human Feeling
 
LostOnTheTrail's Avatar
 
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 5,446
13
3,532 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 17, 2024 at 10:55 AM
  #31
Today was the closest to connected I've felt in a long while.
There are still some hard conversations ahead, but I really appreciate that you understood what that moment on Monday meant to me, even if I'm not really sure what it 'means' to me right now.

__________________
'Somewhere up above the great divide
Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few
A man can see his way clear to the light
Just hold on tight, that's all you gotta do...'

Steve Earle - Fort Worth Blues

'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin
LostOnTheTrail is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
comrademoomoo
Grand Poohbah
 
comrademoomoo's Avatar
 
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: Toodlepip
Posts: 1,838
5
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 17, 2024 at 04:25 PM
  #32
A week has gone by and I still haven't read your letter. I moved it to the back of my journal the other day and I saw a few words. Now I don't want to read it at all.
comrademoomoo is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail, ScarletPimpernel
Victoria'smom
Legendary
 
Victoria'smom's Avatar
 
Member Since Apr 2012
Location: Earth
Posts: 15,318 (SuperPoster!)
12
5,636 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 18, 2024 at 12:35 AM
  #33
Anna's back... You don't know her but if you did you'd be scared. I'm going to hide her and hope she goes away. I honestly don't think I can comply with medicine right now. I don't know what to do.
Possible trigger:
you're already so worried I don't want to tell you these things.

__________________
Dx:
Me- SzA
Husband- Bipolar 1
Daughter- mood disorder+


Comfortable broken and happy

"So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk
My blog
Victoria'smom is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
LostOnTheTrail
Human Feeling
 
LostOnTheTrail's Avatar
 
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 5,446
13
3,532 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 18, 2024 at 06:49 AM
  #34
Dear Z,

So good to connect with you again this morning.
I didn't realise that I needed somebody to acknowledge how 'debilitating' it is that I can't find the right words for this experience.

'Your life is made up of words.'

Yes, exactly.

I know I'm finding them slowly, but it's not anywhere near where I'd want to be.

See you online in a couple of weeks for the next support group.

Lost

__________________
'Somewhere up above the great divide
Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few
A man can see his way clear to the light
Just hold on tight, that's all you gotta do...'

Steve Earle - Fort Worth Blues

'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin
LostOnTheTrail is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
LonesomeTonight
Always in This Twilight
 
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
 
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 21,616 (SuperPoster!)
9
76.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 19, 2024 at 06:32 PM
  #35
Dear T,

I did have a discussion with H about D tonight--it went much better than expected. Not that we came to some great solution, but I wasn't expecting that. He does seem open to seeing someone for parenting guidance, so I'll ask Monday if you can check with your list-serv.

I know you said I didn't need to rush it, but I had a very obvious opening tonight when we were out, so I took it. I was only like two sips into my beer, too!

Love,
LT
LonesomeTonight is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
ScarletPimpernel
LostOnTheTrail
Human Feeling
 
LostOnTheTrail's Avatar
 
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 5,446
13
3,532 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 21, 2024 at 01:20 PM
  #36
Hi R,

People I'm speaking to are beginning to suggest looking into group support.
It's not that easy to find the particular kind of support that I would be interested in pursuing here.

I can't remember if I've shared my experience of reaching out to the main suicide bereavement charity with H.

May have to do that next week, as I imagine she'll be just as flabbergasted by it.

It's not possible to grieve without letting the emotions through - and that's a really hard lesson for me to learn.

Now we have to talk about the hardest aspect again.

I have little record of those first few sessions after Steve died, because I didn't write afterwards.

I don't remember feeling much when we were working on Zoom.

As I explained to H today...'I absorbed the news of Steve's death like a blow to the head.'

Back then I couldn't reach my feelings if I wanted to.

Now I have the choice, but I don't quite have the courage.

I need you to be in it with me.

See you soon,

Lost

__________________
'Somewhere up above the great divide
Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few
A man can see his way clear to the light
Just hold on tight, that's all you gotta do...'

Steve Earle - Fort Worth Blues

'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin
LostOnTheTrail is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
Victoria'smom
Legendary
 
Victoria'smom's Avatar
 
Member Since Apr 2012
Location: Earth
Posts: 15,318 (SuperPoster!)
12
5,636 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 21, 2024 at 07:11 PM
  #37
You can't help me, only one that can help us her.

__________________
Dx:
Me- SzA
Husband- Bipolar 1
Daughter- mood disorder+


Comfortable broken and happy

"So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk
My blog
Victoria'smom is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
ArtieTheSequal
Writing my way through...
 
ArtieTheSequal's Avatar
 
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert of my soul
Posts: 7,596 (SuperPoster!)
4
6,011 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 21, 2024 at 08:27 PM
  #38
I really don't like you anymore.
ArtieTheSequal is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel, SoberSue
 
Thanks for this!
SoberSue
comrademoomoo
Grand Poohbah
 
comrademoomoo's Avatar
 
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: Toodlepip
Posts: 1,838
5
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 22, 2024 at 06:43 AM
  #39
I tried writing to you yesterday as we agreed, but I couldn't. It seemed ridiculous, I was writing to no one. I wonder who I am writing to here. Myself, in a way. I feel quite bleak about my inability to maintain connection, something is lacking in me and I feel great shame about it.
comrademoomoo is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel, unaluna
LostOnTheTrail
Human Feeling
 
LostOnTheTrail's Avatar
 
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 5,446
13
3,532 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 23, 2024 at 09:23 AM
  #40
Too much to talk about tomorrow.
Lots that I can't talk about yet because it's still in process.

__________________
'Somewhere up above the great divide
Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few
A man can see his way clear to the light
Just hold on tight, that's all you gotta do...'

Steve Earle - Fort Worth Blues

'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin
LostOnTheTrail is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
Reply



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVIII LostOnTheTrail Psychotherapy 1004 Apr 07, 2022 10:29 PM
Lost my dear dear friend tonight LucyD Our Pets 18 Jun 01, 2015 10:20 PM
Lost a dear,dear friend enigma17 Grief and Loss 6 Oct 24, 2006 08:49 PM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:21 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.