Struggling with my therapist's pregnancy Part 2

Try to think of her pregnancy as a gift not as a mistake (if you are religious you can think G-d or think of universe or nature if you aren’t).

I’d try to not fixate on the fact that her pregnancy is accidental. So many people are conceived in accident. It’s not unusual or wrong (especially since it’s conceived in marriage and not her mindlessly sleeping around) . Is there any way you can redirect your thinking. Some people might say this kind of thinking of unborn child as a mistake or betrayal sends bad message to the universe.

Would it help to think of it as a human being not as a symbol of something bad and negative. You state her pregnancy had to happen “the way WE planned”. But that’s not hers and your pregnancy, it’s hers and her husband’s. You cannot plan her pregnancy. You could hope for certain outcome. But that’s about it. Something with this line of thinking just isn’t helpful to you.

Is she encouraging this line of thinking? It can’t be good for her pregnancy and unborn child to be viewed in this bad light

I should stop read this thread for my own sanity. Not your fault but this is triggering.

Thanks, Lost. I have to remember that: one day at a time. If there was no timeline, it would be easier. But that's all anyone can do is one day. I think it would also be easier if this wasn't a therapeutic relationship. For one, it complicates things. Two, 2-3hrs a week to process things isn't that much time. Then again, if this was a friend, they probably wouldn't put up with me. *sigh* I'm trying.

I understand this might be triggering to some, but you don't need to post that it is or that you're going to stop reading and/or supporting me. That's hurtful and mean. I'm just honestly processing what I'm going through, what I'm feeling, what I'm experiencing. It's not my goal to trigger anyone. Would you rather me be silent and suffer on my own? Maybe there are others out there struggling with their T's pregnancy, too? Maybe something here might help them? Idk. I'm just trying to get through this. I depend on the support of those who wish to be supportive. And I understand that this might be triggering to some. But no one needs to tell me they're leaving. It's just really hurtful especially during a time I'm struggling and do need support.

I agree I shouldn’t tell you that it’s upsetting for me. Most certainly I am not trying to be hurtful or mean though.

I tried to help you for days, weeks, months . I thought I’ve been supportive in every way possible. I didn’t think it was supportive to tell you that yes she betrayed you and your plans by getting pregnant.

I tried to offer you a different perspective. Maybe trying to look at it differently. Sometimes it helps to look at it from unexpected angle. I thought if you think of this is a baby, you can find joy in it. Buy a gift, knit a blanket, write children’s story, draw a picture. If you look at it as a miserable accident and betrayal of you and your plans and needs, then you continue suffering. There’s no joy in it. Life is too short not to look for joy in things.

I am sorry that it’s not helpful to you or unsupportive. I don’t feel that support only means to say things that encourages OP to continue suffering. I don’t enjoy seeing you suffering. Offering different perspective could be of value. Obviously I failed with this. Sorry.

I hope it all works out. You can do it,