Did this therapist blow me off during our first session?

It's hard. Yes, private therapists get to pick and choose. Some like I guess "easy" clients, whatever that actually means to them. Others like "challenging". I would hope that most just base it on rapport and whether they believe they can be effective. If this therapist decides she doesn't want to work with you for whatever reason, look at is as a blessing. Least she won't lead you on to believe she can help if she really cannot. If she does decide to work with you and you still like her, then hopefully it's a good match and you get the help you deserve.

Yes.. My T had turned people away she fekt she couldn't work with.. To take someone on that you don't feel is right for you it's a disservice to the client

I’m no expert but I would have thought she should have made it clear at the beginning if your first appointment was an assessment and what to expect from that? If she doesn’t feel she’s the best therapist for you then exactly what you should do next. I’ve heard before that it’s usual to recommend therapists who are skilled in different areas.

I don’t understand it either. I think lots of therapists are very bad and should not be in that profession. My partner has gone to several different therapists and they never click with him. The last one told him he didn’t need any help and ate a banana during a session. Hope you can find a good fit soon.

I agree both that she should not have treated you so dismissively and that you also likely dodged a bullet.

If she didn't think she could help you--like if she's more skilled in other areas, like anxiety--then she should have simply told you that AND given you a few referrals. I do think it would have been wrong for her to take you on if she didn't think she could help. It may not be that she doesn't want clients who aren't "easy." For example, I asked a former therapist, out of curiosity, if he ever turned away clients. He said that if one came to him whose primary concern was an eating disorder, he'd refer them out because he doesn't have expertise in that area. Which I think is the responsible thing to do.

I wish at times my current therapist had told me from the beginning that he wasn't skilled in dealing with transference and client attachment (he knew about this from the start because I was consulting with him due to an experience with a previous therapist), It would have saved me a lot of distress if I'd just switched to someone else right away. We've worked our way through it, but it's been a very bumpy, painful road at times.

I hope you can find someone who can help.

I kind of think as mote of soul here. She recommended type of therapy that she doesn’t do. Maybe that was her way to show that she can’t treat you. Not sure she had to give a referral if she wasn’t really your therapist.

She had to be more clear and precise in what she can and cannot do though. Sounds flaky.

You didn’t do anything wrong. You were upfront and honest and there is a therapist out there who will appreciate that and be happy and able to work with you.
I am sorry that you felt so rejected. She could have handled it better if she did not feel like she was a good match for you.
I overwhelmed my therapist too on my first meeting but she felt able to help me. It is not a reflection on you that this therapist does not.

This has happened to me before too. This probably isn’t the best advice, but I always try to pick and choose what I tell any new therapist I see in the first session, in order to let them get to know me first and for us to build rapport. For me, it worked out with my current therapist. I think it helped her conceptualize my issues easier and be more empathetic towards me. I’m not advising holding anything back or hiding anything, but it just so happened to work out for me to gradually share as trust built over time.

I'm sorry.

A skilled therapist should be able to handle a comprehensive intake session.
We're not in therapy to hide parts of ourselves, but to call them into the light.

I hope your new therapist is better equipped to support you.

Best wishes,

Lost

Thanks . That’s a good idea. I probably overwhelmed her by telling her to much at once.