Thinking... Freaking Out.

So yeah. I wrote a poem. It was a nice "dark" poem (posted in Creative here ... "Storm").

So Christina, being a dumb human.... gave it to her T.

Now I'm seriously regretting it. She read it. Asked if she could keep it. And then said we're going to discuss it this week....

WHAT?!

... Okay, freaking out. She said it outlined how I was feeling, and what I've been trying to tell her.

Well yeah, it has been... but do we REALLY need to talk about it?

... crap. Note to self: Dont give poetry to T. Did it with the first one, and it was fine. Not with the second or third one... so why did I do it for this one?

I cannot get into a deep therapeutic relationship with her right now. She's leaving, and I cannot have abandonment issues popping up again when yet another person leaves...

Dammit. Okay, so that was discussed in the poem sorta too.

Phooey. I'm a trapped rat.

Maybe that should be my next poem... "The Trapped Rat". If it wasnt so late, I'd do it right now. Will see about this tomorrow.

Please tell me its going to be okay, and that i'm freaking out for no good reason?

Pretty please???!

it's going to be ok! it's a way for you to reach out. it is probably a really good thing - and lets you say things you wouldn't otherwise?
Breathe, and let it be. =)
Kiya

((Christina))

It WILL be okay. I think it is really nice that you can express yourself creatively and share that creativity with T.

Just breathe. Maybe you can have an extra copy with you so you can have something to hold and look at while T does the same. Then you can work on the meaning of each line.

((((((((((((((((((((((Christina))))))))))))))))))))) I think it was something that you have been trying to say and it came out in your poetry. Somehow you think they are important issues and that you are ready to discuss them. I know how scary that can be. It will be all right.

BB

You have to deal with the leaving/abandonment thing sometime, the sooner the better. Just ignoring it won't work. It will be okay, it's your poem, you're on your own home ground!

It will be okay! I think with T, things happen how they're supposed to happen. Just go with it. It WILL be okay!

Hugs

thanks (((((((((everyone))))))))))

Actually today I did wind up writing that other poem, which I did title "Trapped Rat". I'll be sure to post it in Creative later for anyone interested.

I would like to read it, Christina. Hope you will post it.