[jbug]

Today was therapy day. I got there on time as usual and was waiting and waiting and waiting. I finally looked at the time to see if maybe I had been really early or what but no she was 30 minutes late to come out to get me. I went up to the window to see if she knew I was there and I was told yes she knew I was there. She finally came out and we went ahead with therapy. I am used to my 50 minutes. I got 25. I feel ripped off. I feel as if I'm not important enough to matter to her to get me on time so I can have my full time. I am angry, hurt, scared, feeling abandoned. I want to send her an email telling her such things but don't want to rock the boat.

Jbug

[onlymedid]

First off, I would be feeling the SAME way you are feeling. Did she even apologize or offer you more time next time or anything? I would TOTALLY email and tell her how you feel. I would tell her what you expect the next time it happens (hopefully it WON'T).
Maybe she doesn't realize how much it affected you.
Now that I think about it, I would probably be late the next time....but that would just be "my" revenge and would just rip off more time.
((((Jbug))))

I'd email her and tell her how you are disappointed. That you pay for 50 mins and that service was not received.

Maybe an emergency came up, but still, you should be allowed your whole time, and a note should be posted to clients about running late.

((((jbug))))
This happened to me once. My therapist's staff never told him I was there so I was waiting and waiting and being the passive person I am I didn't ask anyone what was going on. He saw me when he came out to get his next patient. He took me back and was very apologetic, but I was deeply hurt and understand your feelings. Did she apologize at all?

[jbug]

She didn't mention it at all that she was 30 minutes late to come get me. It was as if it never happened. I am hurt and having feelings I don't like having.

Jbug

[tulips30]

I had the exact same situation happen to me more than once with my old t. I felt every single emotion you are feeling. I would tell her how you feel, but would wait till I see her the next time. That way she will have to respond. I'm sorry this happened to you. It sure hurts!

PS: I would definately want to know if you will be credited for the time!

tulips

[sunrise]

If she starts your session 30 minutes late, she should offer to tack on an extra 30 minutes at the end to give you your full time or compensate you in some other way. She can't just shortchange you like that and expect you to pay for a full session. What did she say when you handed her the check or cash? If it were me, I would have handed her only half the amount. She owes you. I know it's not just the money, but she could at least make good on that part of it. And acknowledge her lateness and overcharging instead of just not mentioning it.

[mountaindew24]

The past three months my T has done this tome. my appointment is @ 8:15 a.m .she don't come till 9:15 so finally asked her what the deal about being late she like I don't have to told anything

[Merlin]

my pdoc's been late to his 9 am appointments. it annoys me, because i got up and got there in time, but he's always gave be as much time as i need.

[Dinah]

I've learned over time to talk about it in the moment. Otherwise the resentment I feel builds up. So if he's late, I note it at the beginning of the session, and he knows to not send me out until the right amount of time was up.

It took me a very long time to learn to do that. Sometimes I wouldn't even realize I was angry until I was in my car, and I'd call and leave him an angry message.

At the very beginning of therapy, I went quite a long time before telling him I couldn't help but notice that we consistently started late but ended on time, and asked him to clarify how long a session was, and asked him if he was using me to "catch up time". He still loves that expression, and often tells me when he brings me back late that I'll get my full fifty minutes and he won't catch up time on me.

Once, he got stuck in traffic and was a half hour late. Apparently a new client, or a more exacting client, or something, was coming in after me. Because he apologized profusely, and asked me if I wanted to only pay him for half the session, or if I wanted to come in for another half session another day, or if I wanted to have an hour and a half session next time. He had the air of someone who'd been practicing that series of alternatives for a while in his mind while he was trying to juggle things in his mind. I didn't say anything, but I must have stared with outrage, because his voice got less sure with each potential alternative. After a moment of silence, he said "Or.... I could give you your entire fifty minutes, and the next client will just have to wait too." I chose that alternative, and he called the client after that to reschedule, then we had a full fifty minute session. I *hope* he was proud of me for being assertive.

[chaotic13]

First of all I would also be upset, 30 minutes late is a long time. She should have acknowledge her lateness especially if she cut your session time short.
My T sometimes starts my sessions late by 10-15 minutes but she then runs mine over so I am not short changed. Although I do not like waiting in the waiting room, I appreciate the fact that she is not rushing patients who may be struggling out the door to maintain a tight schedule. One day that struggling patient could be me.

Based on what you described in your post, I would not email her about this issue. You have no idea what the circumstances were that caused her lateness. I would try and open your next session by expressing your concern about the length of your session. You could just say something like... "you know last week we got started very late and I felt really rushed." If she doesn't offer an apology after this then I would become more direct and say something like.. "I understand in health care when dealing with people that unexpected situations arise that may alter the appointment schedule." "However, having me sit for a half hour in the waiting room and then rushing me through a session without acknowledging it was very upsetting." If she then still did not apologize AND offer some sort of compensation. I would feel free to let her know exactly what I thought of her actions. Of course after sharing my thoughts on her lack of professionalism, I would move to terminate her services. That is just me, I have an intolerance for lack of professionalism. Not providing the care you are billing a patient for is not acceptable--its fraud.

I would be so pissed. This is not professional.

If I were you, I would immediately call her, leave a message that you need to speak with her in regards to what occured in todays session. You can not wait. Then ask......

You deserve an explanation!

Once and awhile T's run late, but they should explain, apologize and make sure you get what you paid for!

[jbug]

I blogged about how disappointed I am. It helped some but I am still pissed, hurt, and the abandoned child. I feel as if she was playing some kind of little game to see if I'd react and I don't think I reacted like I was supposed to. I plan on mentioning it to my pdoc on Monday.

Jbug

[Kiya]

I would email and ask if you are going to be reimbursed or given more time on another day.

though i tend to not stick up for myself.... my last t messed up or missed several appointments. She was deeply sorry after all of them, offered me my money back, made up time on other days. But then the one day I missed mine because it was suddenly at 9am in stead of 2, she lectured me on how she'd have to charge me full if that ever happened again... that we were able to fit me in later, but that cannot happen again. in a full year, i missed one. it felt really unfair to be lectured so. i had been so upset when i found out i missed it and cried and wanted to get in... and then after that i hated her and didn't want to be there.

[pachyderm]

Tell her that you hope that the bird of paradise flies up her nose...

[jbug]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
pachyderm said:
Tell her that you hope that the bird of paradise flies up her nose...

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

LMAO

[splitimage]

I had a pdoc, who used to be constantly late for appointments, but she always gave me the full sesssion. But it still bugged the heck out of me. Nothing I could do about it though.

My T sometimes run's late, but it's never been more than 15 minutes but she always gives me the full 50 minutes when it's her fault. If I'm late, that's my problem.

I think you have every right to be angry and I'd tell her upselt you were at your next session and ask about making up the missed time. Especially if you're paying for the session, you're just getting ripped off.

--splitimage

You know p-docs are always late. They think that MD after their name means they have to be late or it does not look like they are important (trust me, I used to work in a medical school)

As for Ts.....they should not be late, because it stirs alot of emotions in clients. And if they are, they should take appropiate measures, such as discussing it, processing it, and of course making up the time.

[sunrise]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Riptide said:
As for Ts.....they should not be late, because it stirs alot of emotions in clients.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">This client is not bothered that her T is late 90% of the time. It's just how he is. I know what to expect. He has interesting books in his waiting room or sometimes I just relax and sleep. He never shortchanges me on time, we just start late. And sometimes I get more than 50 minutes. It works for me. That's just how I am, pretty easygoing with stuff like that. My T's being late is not some sort of personal statement against me. I am sure that is how he is for all of his clients. Hey, and if some people are put off by his lateness and need a different T because of this, then great, there will be more empty slots for me.

[jbug]

I plan on mentioning it to her I am just trying to decide if its something I need to get out now or can it wait. I'm sure it will be talked about on Monday when I go see my pdoc but we will see. I am still peeved and can't believe I am letting myself get so worked up about it.

Jbug

[jbug]

I was instructed in therapy to email my T today to tell her how the weekend is going so I did. At the very end I thought I'd put a guilt trip on her and said I'm sorry we didn't get to have a full session on Thursday I'm looking forward to seeing you at 2 on Thursday. So we will see.

Jbug

[Brian37]

never been disappointed.....they're human afterall.....

if your disappointed maybe your expecting too much....

just an opinion

[chaotic13]

[Quote] Jbug said:
At the very end I thought I'd put a guilt trip on her and said I'm sorry we didn't get to have a full session on Thursday I'm looking forward to seeing you at 2 on Thursday.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
Not sure if she will fall for the guilt trip, but at least you let her know that you noticed that she cut you short.

i don't agree with Brian37, expecting a 50 minutes session when you're paying for it is not expecting too much. I wouldn't dwell on it but, I think you should politely raise the issue for discussion. This could turn out to be a good opportunity to practice telling someone that you had an expectation of them that went unmet. If your T is skilled this could be a good exercise in direct communication and resolving conflicts that arise when you either appropriately or inappropriately had an expectation of another person that went unmet. If you don't talk openly about it, it could fester, and deteriorate your therapeutic relationship even more. You've already spent several days feeling like you are not important to her.

[jbug]

Thanks for your reply Mckell. Its not just her I feel unimportant to these days its just the icing on the cake if you know what I mean. I do plan on bringing it up to her on Thursday and I'm sure it will be talked about a little tomorrow when I see my pdoc.

Jbug

[chaotic13]

I do understand, this makes it even more important that you politely but directly talk about it. You may be able to used this situation to explore why others can make you feel unimportant or neglected and their actions not be challenged by you.