What to do when T disappoints you

Jbug, do you think she might be doing this as an intervention to get you to speak up? Definitely say something next visit.

She very well may be. I couldn't get the guts up to say something to my pdoc about it today. I wanted to talk to him very badly about it but I saw how rushed he was and didn't want to take up any more of his time. We only have 1 hospital up here for mental health and it only has 2 adult docs on staff...my pdoc and one other and the other one is on vacation this week. My pdoc came in running to his office and said they are already paging me from Vista. I didn't want to bother him with that I figured I should work it out with Dr. M.

Jbug

Here is what I am noticing. You posted a very small paragraph and look how many phrases there are highlighting automatic thoughts you have which could be preventing you from getting your needs met.

"I couldn't get the guts up to say something"
"I saw how rushed he was"
"I didn't want to take up any more of his time"
"I didn't want to bother him with that"

You are such a sweet person Jbug, I can see that through all of your posts. I want you to try and take care of yourself now okay?

On Thursday, go in with a short list of what you need from your T and talk about how you have felt with her running late etc.

You can do it!

I had emailed my T and asked her if she was trying to get rid of me. I got back an email that told me that my borderline was showing LOL. She told me the reason for our shortened session on Thursday was she didn't get the message I was there until right before she came out to get me. She said she would talk with the office staff about it. I also hadn't been getting any of my phone calls returned and she said it was because she wasn't getting them until the next day and usually I was seeing her the next day. I feel really stupid for asking her if she was trying to dump me and I imagine our session on Thursday will be an interesting one.

Jbug

Don't feel stupid. This is a replay of me and my T. If you want some good laughs, search my older posts

We almost spent a year on "you're trying to get rid of me"...."no I'm not"...."yes you are"..."no really I'm NOT" giggle.

Disappointments are what I experience when I expect people to be and see like me...

Me is always wound within the disappointment.

But this is just me...

Lenny

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
jbug said:
She told me the reason for our shortened session on Thursday was she didn't get the message I was there until right before she came out to get me.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">So? That doesn't excuse her from charging you for a full session. She needs to compensate you somehow. jbug, don't allow yourself to be taken advantage of. Also, she should have mentioned the reason for your shortened session during the session. Why wait until now to extend her excuses to you? Was she hoping you would conveniently not notice she had shortchanged you? I hope you can be very direct with her when you see her and let her know the very good reasons this has been bothering you.

But, do you feel better knowing the actual answers to your questions? Sometimes I feel stupid asking questions but most of the time the real answers are a lot better than the ones I came up with in my head.

I hope you do take a few minutes in your next session to talk about these communication issues. First of all, thats great to know that she wasn't just blowing you off last session; however, cutting your session short without acknowledging the staff error and compensating you for it is not good practice. Blaming the staff for not returning your calls, is also a problem. She needs to address these issues with her staff. Since she realizes now that it bothers you, she should help you out a bit and tell you what you can and cannot expect regarding her returning your phone calls.

As for the email saying your borderline is showing...I would be like ..Well hell yeah... that why I'm getting therapy. If I didn't have issues like these,...I wouldn't need the therapy.

I think this is a good opportunity to see if you can work with this therapeutic relationship and practice speaking up and addressing your concerns. I had an issue with something my therapist had recommended early on in therapy, it took me a while to raise it, but eventually I did get the guts to say that it pissed me off. When I did we were able to discuss my concerns and it help me see that this relationship could survive some disagreement. It really help with regard to trust.

Her explanation of the short session may be valid (and I can't see why not), but that doesn't excuse it. She owes you that time or that money.

As for the cost of my session last week I don't know how that is going to play out as I don't have to pay for therapy. I'm on Medicare/Medicaid and have no copay. I don't know how the half of a session is going to be billed to my insurance but I'm sure it will be handled in the correct manner.

Jbug

Are you ok with her explanation or do you need to talk about it more with her? I think that's what really matters.

OH MY GOSH....I would still be annoyed. (Here is my borderline showing through)

The office staff messed up and ruined your time. Regardless of the $ issues, I would ask that T come and get me at the exact time and not wait for the office staff to notify her.

I dislike office staff

I accept her reasoning and totally realize that my Borderline is showing LOL. I am just very symptomatic lately and this is just one of the things that got caught in the cross fire.

Dr. M told me she was gonna speak with the office staff. I personally think Dr. H needs to have a powwow with them as when I was waiting to see him on Monday there was another client of a different T that had the same thing happen to them and I over heard the T tell them that if she hasn't come out to get the client after they page her then come knock on her door because her phone didn't ring to let her know someone was there.

Jbug

I hate to say it but I think part of the reason I over reacted was what time of month this is...if you catch my drift. I tend to get more symptomatic around the time of my period.

Jbug