[HALLIEBETH87]

So I saw my T on Tuesday. I was very quiet at first and unable to think of a topic to talk about. My T admitted she was stuck too. She commented on my down mood and asked me about how my week had gone. I told her the honest truth...mostly. I told her about my feelings of anxiety and depression most nights and how I'd had thoughts of SI again. I did not, however, tell her about feeling like ending it at times. I only said I had bad thoughts and they scared me.

Her first reaction was to very seriously ask me if I needed to go to the hospital. What the hell? Has this happened to any of you? What happened the next times you saw T??

[pachyderm]

I love it when the professionals ask what they should do with me...

Not.

[HALLIEBETH87]

i was like noooooo. wt hell was i supposed to say? is she gonna ask me every time i go now?

[Christina86]

One time it was kinda mentionned, but not really that seriously. And I still will never forget it. It freaked me out.

But if it's helpful to a person in the long run... then although it is scary, then maybe its for the best. But I'm not presuming to place a judgement on your situation ((((((((HALLIEBETH))))))))))) ... it has to be your T's and your own decision about what you do. I dont think she can force you to go unless you're a danger to yourself, and she knows about it.

I think she cares about your wellbeing.

[HALLIEBETH87]

well I guess but I got out of the frikin hospital March 24. Does she expect to agree to go back so quickly? Yeah....lol

[Razzleberry]

She is probably concerned and sensed that you had those thoughts. Only trying to prevent you from actually doing anything to harm yourself.

[Kiya]

maybe she's just checking in and that is her way of asking if you need more support? my t asked me that several years ago - "are you needing more support"? and her emphasis on "more" sent chills down my spine. I wanted more clarification and she wouldn't give any. but eventually when i was suicidal she had me check in with her daily.
hope that helps.
kiya

[MissCharlotte]

((Halliebeth))

I bet your T asked the question because she wants to bring your attention to the fact that you are in charge of you. Since you have already been in the hospital you know what it feels like to need to be there. I hope you can share your other feelings with T. I did and it led me to realize that I need an adjustment in my medication.

Take gentle care.

[HALLIEBETH87]

*shrugs*

[Merlin]

I've had t/pdoc inquire about my suicidal intent, but they both know the only way I would going into the hospital is without consent.

[PsyChris]

In defense of the therapist, suicide assessment is one of the most nerve racking things they have to do. They would feel horrible if you killed yourself, period.

If you killed yourself and they never asked you about suicide, that's even worse.

Your T gave you the option of going into the hospital. You made the choice not to seek that form of help at this time. The T obviously supports your decision. Sometimes there is no better way but to ask the patient directly if they are going to harm themselves. Either way it is something that has to be asked to every patient.

[pachyderm]

PsyChris, the way the asking is done is critical. From several responses to the original question, I think I see that several people are assuming things about what the therapist's "real" motivation is. There are ways of phrasing things that let the patient know that the therapist has thought about it a lot, and knows how the patient may take it, and there are ways that let the patient know that the therapist has NOT thought a great deal about how the patient's past experience may lead her to perceive such questioning.

[Perna]

Pachyderm, the question is just a question; the cigar, a cigar! It's a straightforward, serious question, has nothing to do with past experience or perception. If the client has never been asked such a quesiton, it's guaranteed to startle and alarm, no matter how it is asked.

I think the question is used by the T to assess the seriousness of a client's intentions regarding harm or suicide but it can also be used to help teach the client to pay attention to themselves and what they're saying and how to weigh one's thoughts and feelings.

When I was first in therapy, all my speech was violent or military; one of my favorite expressions, still, is to "throw a hand grenade into my own foxhole so I can start over". It took many years to learn how I use language and how "most" people use/perceive language and my use of language, etc. and learn to modify it so I could be understood better by others and better know my own variations. I don't have to be so extreme and violent anymore because I have a lot of middle ground and range of emotions. I've learned to identify and use many smaller, more delicate "tools" to help myself. I don't have to use a hand grenade when a garden spade or dish soap and elbow grease will work better :-)

I still remember, after 9 years of therapy with this T, going to see her again and the first session at the end she asked if I thought we could work well together. My response was, "If not, I'm throwing myself off the nearest bridge" and my mind immediately went searching, trying to find which bridge that would be I had to laugh because I hadn't known I was going to say that and I didn't even know what I meant by it other than I really really wanted our work together to go well and succeed. I didn't have the words yet to express it "correctly". That's what my T and her questions and conversation helped me with, understanding myself/what I meant and expressing myself in a way that didn't make other people think I was "strange" (understatement :-)

Sometimes it takes seeming hand grenades from our T's to get us to see what we ourselves are doing and saying since we've been doing and saying things in ways that haven't seemed to work for so long.

[pachyderm]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Perna said:
Pachyderm, the question is just a question; the cigar, a cigar! It's a straightforward, serious question, has nothing to do with past experience or perception. If the client has never been asked such a quesiton, it's guaranteed to startle and alarm, no matter how it is asked.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I disagree.

[HALLIEBETH87]

well she scares me now. i never said anything about ending it just that i had bad thoughts and acknowledged i was thinking about cutting again.

[pachyderm]

> well she scares me now. i never said anything about ending it just that i had bad thoughts and acknowledged i was thinking about cutting
> again.

Being scared does not necessarily mean that something bad is going to happen. Just be on the watch, but calmly, since nothing is happening now!