cancel, reschedule, cancel, cancel...

Hi guys. Sorry i haven't been on in a long time. I've been trying to stay away for a little. Trying to not run here every time i have a little problem in T. I've been trying to deal with things myself and taking it upon myself to confront T instead of going to everyone else. I plan to confront T with the issue i'm going to present today, but i'm feeling really frustrated and can't wait until i see her. because.....SHE KEEPS CANCELING!

It's at least twice a month. She's either sick, her son is sick, she's having pregnancy related problems, or her boss scheduled a meeting at our usual time and she can't make it. I know some things are beyond her control. But this is getting ridiculous. Usually, she calls me herself to cancel/reschedule. Either from the office or if she's home she will call me from her cell. But this time is different. The office actually called my house and cancelled her appointment and said that she would call me to reschedule. This kinda worries me because the office never deals with her apts. But at the same time, i'm very frustrated. Its constantly cancel, reschedule, i'll call you to set up an apt, cancel, i'll call to reschedule. How are we supposed to get any therapy done...we're always rescheduling!!! Sorry i'm just a little frustrated. Seeing her is what gets me through. I look forward to those apts, they get me through the days. How can I use that when they are never set in stone? No wonder i lack stability. Please share your insights...i'm in need of support.

That's terrible, Krazibean. I would be really frustrated too, especially if she was unable to reschedule in the same week. It sounds like she may be going through a difficult time with the pregnancy or something? Whatever her reasons (as understandable and/or unavoidable as they may be for her), all these cancellations still put you in a really difficult position. I think you said in a previous post you didn't want to consider getting a new T or seeing someone else where she works? At the very least, I might want to ask her some difficult questions next time I saw her: if she thinks her personal issues are going to continue to cause her to cancel in the future, if she expects to return to work full time after the pregancy, if she expects to be available to work with you as long as you need her, etc. I would just want some assurance that she would be able to be there on a regular basis for me in the future, and that she really understands how hard it is when she cancels. If she couldn't provide those two things, I would have to question whether she was the right person for me to be investing my time in at this point. Don't know if that's at all helpful, but that's how I would approach it. Hang in there and I hope things get back to normal for you soon.

OMG that would undo me. I had one cancellation and I'm a wreck.

She is putting her needs way before yours. If she can't be there for you, does she have a backup until she can?

That sounds really hard. I remember I went through a time where my therapist (a psychiatrist) would often miss our appointments because he scheduled me after court hearings and the court hearings would often run over. It was understandable that he missed our session (the judge held him up) but that didn't really detract or help me with respect to the rollercoaster of feelings that I'd go through every time he did that.

It can be hard... In a sense it is understandable - they have good reason. But then in a sense it is not fair, not good enough - and that is understandable too, we have good reason. A hard situation.

Can you talk (rather than confront) with your therapist about this? Maybe... Focus on how you feel when a session is missed?

((Krazibean))

((Krazibean))

I agree that this is terrible! I think you should tell her exactly what you told us and see if you two can come to some sort of resolution.

T hasn't called me to reschedule, so i called the office to see what was going on.

she said, "T had an emergency on tuesday and will not be in the office until next week."

how soothing. Not only do i have to deal with not seeing her, but the guilt when she finds out that i'm angry that she just suddenly disappeared.

Now i'm going in circles trying to figure out what it could be...she was pregnant..miscarriage perhaps? i know she has kidney problems... maybe she's in the hospital? I know her 2 year old son needed brain surgery when he was a baby...could something have happened?

TTTTTTT

she had a miscarriage. don't i feel like a &*%^*%*&^*&^

How heart breaking for T. I can't imagine.

You did not know the situation - there is no reason to beat yourself up over it. But it shows therapists have their own personal demons to battle as well. In the time that she has been empathetic and understanding for many, we can only hope that people will do the same to her in her time of need.

Knowing this information, though it may be hard, keep in mind that if she is different/distant/distracted it is not a personal thing against you, it's that her world has just crashed down on her as well.

ooooofffffffffff!

Maybe try another T? They are supposed to be there to help you.