[stolen_innocence08]

After an attempted suicide, I feel guilty and feel like ive let down my therapist. He is such a good therapist and really tried to help me. The guilt and other feelings are not going away...the day before my attempt, i did tell him i was suicidal...had things to do it with...but said id keep myself safe...day after, i attempt. i knew deep down i wouldnt be safe...but was scared

ive seen him twice since. the first time after i had attempted was horriblly weird.

i just would like to know what therapists go through when a client attempts suicide when they have expressed they were suicidal?

thjanks

[Slippers]

I would tell your T how you are feeling, and see how he responds. Let him know that you are concerned about how your actions may have impacted your relationship with him. Seems like these feelings need to be discussed.

Slippers

[SingleGirl]

I am going to suggest that you and your therapist explore ways you can communicate the scary feelings in a way that will guarantee you get help next time you are in need.

I can't speak for your therapist, but he probably must have felt that you were safe or he would have pushed for inpatient. He obviously trusts what you say to be the truth and that is a very good thing. None of us want a therapist second guessing every word out of our mouths.

Maybe things were weird because he was unsure how you would react and he didn't want to influence you one way or the other so the weirdness you felt was just him giving you the total control of the session for the day.

Was the second time better? Are you guys back on track as a team? I know you mention you still have guilt... but as far as your progress with this therapist.... how far are you away from where you were pre-attempt?

(see PM for other more personal stuff)

[kim_johnson]

I think different therapists would feel differently about the situation.

You said that you knew deep down that you might try and kill yourself... But that you didn't tell him because you were scared. Do you know what you were scared of?

Do you think that you could be more honest with him about whether you are planning on attempting / whether you think it is likely that you will attempt in future?