<font color="purple">It has only been a few months, and not really a huge number of sessions, but I'm terminating with my current T and then am going on the list for a new one.

Now, I know you're all probably thinking "Oh well, it takes TIME" but the thing is, I've given her and myself all the patience that I've got.

The reasons why that I'm terminating are pretty simple: the fact that I feel completely invalidated by her in her responses. It's like I pour my little 17-year-old heart out to her and she just brushes everything off as simple little things like not getting enough sleep. It's because of this that it's pretty much impossible for me to form any sort of theraputic relationship.

The reasons that have kept me going to her were: 1. I didn't want to hurt her feelings or anything...as silly as that sounds, and 2. Self-doubt and self-degridation. That she really IS the right kind of T for me and I'm just looking for someone to agree with me and if I want that then I should just go to my friends instead of some proffessional.

Ah well, minus an episode or two like this afternoon, I'm in a pretty good spot righ now so I don't mind being on the waiting list
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[emilyjeanne]

I think it is great that you are able to recognize that the relationship is not working. It took me years to figure that out.

Good luck.

[skeksi]

I know you have been frustrated several times with her downplaying your problems as being "teenage issues." I think you deserve a T who will respect you as a person, and that includes addressing your concerns. Good luck and I hope the waiting list is short!

[sunrise]

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Now, I know you're all probably thinking "Oh well, it takes TIME"

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">I'm not thinking that at all. It can take a long time to trust a T, but it does not necessarily take a long time to know if you and the T are a good fit. Kaika, I read somewhere that a person should know within about a month or so if a new T is a good match or not. It sounds like yours is not a good match, and you are moving on. Good for you.

Could you try to get a new T who is used to working with adolescents/young adults? Perhaps such a person would be more likely to not be invalidating and take your concerns seriously.

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The reasons why that I'm terminating are pretty simple: the fact that I feel completely invalidated by her in her responses. It's like I pour my little 17-year-old heart out to her and she just brushes everything off as simple little things like not getting enough sleep. It's because of this that it's pretty much impossible for me to form any sort of theraputic relationship.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">I hope you will tell her that when you terminate. It would really help her professionally to know how she comes across (invalidating, unable to bond, etc.). It might help her future clients.

[Simcha]

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skeksi said:
I know you have been frustrated several times with her downplaying your problems as being "teenage issues." I think you deserve a T who will respect you as a person, and that includes addressing your concerns. Good luck and I hope the waiting list is short!

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I couldn't agree more.

good for you... choosing a therapist isn't and shouldn't be something which is mysteriously out of your hands. This is your health, your choice. i wouldn't stick with any other member of my health team that i didn't feel i could work with, why would i place some kind of sacredness on a therapist?

i think this is a very strong decision.